When failures bite us

WE have to be ready for this possibility. Failures can

come to us anytime and in all forms in spite of our good intentions

and best efforts. Some of them can already be suspected. But there are

others that can come as a complete surprise.

   

            In any event, we should try our best not to over-react to

them, such that we fall into anger and bitterness, on the one hand, or

into self-pity, sadness and depression, on the other.

  

            Failures can be and should be treated as a blessing. That

is, if we consider them from the point of Christ, if we suffer them

with Christ, who also ‘failed’ big time by dying on the cross. Let’s

remember that Christ has redeemed all our possible failures with his

resurrection. There is no failure that cannot be taken advantage of

for our sanctification and redemption as long as we suffer it with

Christ.

  

            The other day, I felt a deep sense of failure when all of

sudden I heard that a student in our school died. He was a working

student, an orphan who had to take care of two younger siblings. He

worked hard. He never complained about anything. He was just quiet

doing all sorts of things, cleaning the toilets, the windows, etc.

  

            I knew that he led a very heroic life. He had to wake up

very early to prepare things for his brothers and then come to school.

He had to walk a lot to reach school. And he arrived very late at home

every night because he had to do his jobs in school.

   

            Later on, I learned that he was suffering from some pains

in the head and the body. A neighbor who knew more about him at home

told us that. I found it amazing because everytime I saw him, he

always looked good—at least, he gave no sign he was suffering from

something.

  

            This is where I felt I failed miserably. I felt I did not

pay enough attention to him. I felt like I treated him simply as a

working student, and not as a person in his concrete condition as

orphan and all that. In fact, I felt that I have exploited him, since

he was so docile and simple, very easy to ask to run errands for me.

  

            Anyway, I already made my contrition and apologies for

this failure. But, yes, this incident taught me a lesson to be more

caring and more discerning of people’s conditions. I should not just

be contented with how they look. I need to go beyond their looks.

  

            This incident reminds me of my late mother who, contrary

to what I tend to be, was always caring with people in some miserable

conditions. In fact, our house became a favorite destination for

beggars. And at that time, I was not happy with that condition. But my

mother welcomed them and spent time with them.

  

            My mother gave them whatever she had, which was not really

much. But she gave it with such tenderness that beggars loved her so

much. In fact, in her funeral, the beggars were also there and they

were the ones who cried the loudest.

  

            I believe it is not too late to learn how to be more

caring and discerning of people, especially those in some difficult

situation. This means that we should try to get to know more and more

about the persons who are just around us. They may just be janitors

and laundrywomen, but I believe we have to know the concrete situation

of their personal, family and social lives.

  

            Little things like knowing their birthdays and

anniversaries, and greeting them on those days special to them, can go

a long way in knowing them well. They also need a lot of affection,

and to be talked to and be listened to, even about trivial matters.

They have to be treated as equals.