Missing the point and recovering it

THIS is a common enough phenomenon. In any transaction, in any

communication, there are many elements that get lost. Speakers can

speak badly, and listeners can also listen badly, for example. Between

one and the other, many things escape our attention.

Besides, there are non-tangible items and considerations and other

imponderables that just cannot be articulated in the instruments like

contracts and other forms of agreement we use to define the relations

among ourselves.

Very often, our responses and reactions to events can be impertinent.

We can miss the point in many instances. Remember that episode when

Christ announced to his disciples that he was going to be arrested,

tried and crucified, and then rise on the third day? (cfr Mt 20,17-28)

His followers did not understand what he was saying, and they were

afraid or ashamed to ask questions. Instead, a mother of two of the

apostles made a silly request—that her sons would sit beside him in

the glory of heaven.

Yet, in spite of this lamentable predicament, Christ salvaged the many

small good items that came up along the way to adapt his message to

his listeners’ needs and conditions.

When the two apostles gamely answered, “We can,” to his query if they

were also willing to drink the cup that he was about to drink, that is

to say, to suffer the way he would suffer, he was happy, and proceeded

to tell what they needed to do instead.

And that was none other than just to serve. Let’s go through that

beautiful part again. “You know that among the pagans the rulers lord

it over them, and their great men make their authority felt,” he said.

“This is not to happen among you. No, anyone who wants to be great

among you must be your servant, and anyone who wants to be first among

you must be your slave, just as the Son of Man came not to be served

but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Mt

20,26-28)

It seems Christ wants to tell us that while we can miss many things

that he wants to tell us, we can somehow make up and recover his

precious messages and their nuances if we just trust and love him,

showing this in deeds by serving, for loving and serving are two words

that describe one reality.

Loving by serving puts us into a loop that goes beyond what our senses

can perceive and what our mind can discern. We may not be able to feel

anything, nor understand things, but by loving through serving others,

we would already be effectively not only getting the point but also

living the message God wants us to know and live.

This is a point that we need to chew on well. While we always want to

understand and even to feel what we ought to know and do, we should

try not to be too dependent on our understanding and feelings and just

proceed to loving God through serving others.

This is precisely the very heart of loving. It is an act done in pure

gratuity and goodness, without expecting any reward or privilege or

recompense. We do it because we just want to do it, no ifs nor buts,

no other reason than that we just want to do it.

If we can only convince ourselves of the wisdom of this message that

Christ is telling us, then we would truly simplify our life, fill

ourselves with joy and peace irrespective of whether the conditions

and circumstances are favorable or not, advantageous or not.

With this mindset, we would extricate ourselves from the constricting

grip of our intelligence and feelings. Of course, our intelligence is

oriented toward the infinite. Let’s just make sure that we don’t allow

it to be dominated and led precisely by feelings and other earthly and

temporal values.

We need to engage our intelligence, our mind and heart with the source

of infinite goodness and love that is God himself who tells us what to

do through Christ. We need to see this very important connection.

Besides, we need to see how Christ continues to act on us through the

Church which he founded, endowing it with the proper powers so that it

can truly and integrally continue Christ’s work on us throughout time.

If we see this picture well and try to conform ourselves to it, then

we would be on the way to recover what may be lost because of our

human frailties.

We are all hypocrites

OK, let’s take it easy. What I mean is that in spite of our best

efforts, we continue to be haunted by our tendency to say one thing

yet do another. It’s a predicament we all are subject to. Hypocrisy

and deception can become very attractive to us because they offer us

some instant if false relief or convenience or advantage.

Sometimes there are good reasons for playing a game similar to

hypocrisy. That’s when we need to be discreet, tactful and prudent.

This would not be hypocrisy. In other cases, it is simply malice and

pure deception that we are playing. The latter is what we should try

to avoid.

Christ’s injunction to his disciples to do and observe all things the

scribes and Pharisees were saying, but not to follow their example,

because they preach but they do not practice what they preach (cfr Mt

23,1-2), continues to be effective up to now.

We need to exert continuing effort to avoid falling into this

predicament. But, of course, given our weakened and wounded human

condition, we cannot deny that sometimes, and even many times, we can

fall into the ways of the scribes and Pharisees.

    Just the same, we can still get God’s good graces by doing the first

part of the injunction, that is, to continue teaching and preaching

the good news even if our behavior is not yet at par to what we are

preaching.

    As long as we striving to close the gap between our words and our

deeds, I suppose things would just be all right. After all, no matter

how much we try, things can always be better. There’s no such state of

perfection in this life, in our thoughts, words and deeds that cannot

be improved further. So, let’s just be game.

    Otherwise, we would all be saints here in this life, since there

would be no more sin if we say things cannot be improved anymore. But

the immediate, very obvious reality tells us otherwise. What is

important is that we just try our best to conform our actions to our

words and intentions, and our intentions conformed to God’s will.

    This is what is called consistency or integrity or unity of life, a

goal that we have pursue everyday, making the relevant plans that

consider our usual problems and difficulties in this regard and the

means we need to precisely reach that goal.

    We need to remember that for us to be able to do this, we need to be

with God, to have a certain intimacy with him where we can truly have

a heart-to-heart conversation with him. That’s when we can manage to

be sincere and authentic.

    Let’s remember that truthfulness is always a matter of having a

relation with God, because God in the first place is the Truth

himself, the creator of the universe and therefore of reality itself.

We can never be truthful just by ourselves, that is, without God, no

matter how much we profess to be honest.

    Especially in some difficult situations, when we are strongly tempted

to twists facts and tell lies, it is important to be firmly convinced

that it is better to abandon ourselves in the hands of God and tell

the truth, no matter what it costs.

Obviously, this abandoning ourselves in the hands of God to tell the

truth should also go hand in hand with the requirements of tact and

discretion, integral parts of charity. But we also have to make sure

that our sense of tact and discretion is not actually a cover for

cowardice and infidelity.

It always pays to trust in God even as we do everything we can to be

truthful. One anecdote that highlights this doctrine is about a father

whose child was born with a heart condition.

The doctors told him his son would not survive within the year if the

baby would not be operated on. And even the operation could only give

a 50-50 chance of survival.

The father was in crisis. Poor and the bill would run to almost half a

million pesos, he tried his best to look for the amount, but in the

end, could not raise it. He just told the doctor he was abandoning the

baby in the hands of God. He instead prayed and prayed.

I asked him what happened to the baby. The man said, “Father, my son

is now 21 years old. He is not quite healthy, but he manages to study

and do some work. He has never been a burden to us.”

From gloom to bloom

THERE’S, of course, as aspect of gloom to Lent. That’s

understandable, since the season reminds us of our sinfulness, our

weaknesses and temptations, and the need to struggle, to be patient,

to suffer, etc.

    But it’s a gloom that leads us to the bloom of Easter, the suffering

that purifies and strengthens us, giving us another rebirth and making

us grow to Christian maturity where love and goodness prevail.

    We should look at things from a higher point of view, from a wider

perspective that gives due consideration to the inputs of faith and

the eternal truths, etc., to be able to get a better picture.

The victory of Christ’s resurrection, celebrated on Easter, gives full

meaning to the suffering of Christ’s cross that we are asked to share.

Our problem is the usual tendency to see things externally and

superficially only, and to give knee-jerk reactions to events. We fail

to connect the two.

    The road from gloom to bloom, from Lent to Easter, from darkness to

light, from death to life, has been built for us by Christ through his

words and deeds, through his whole redemptive life here on earth that

was filled with precious lessons for us.

    This road has been perfected, has been given the finishing touches

and polish with his passion, death and resurrection that comprise what

is now known as the Paschal or Easter mystery.

    It’s the mystery that summarizes the whole redemptive work of Christ

and is applied to us through the sacraments, especially the sacrament

of the Holy Eucharist. This is, of course, a truth of faith that we

accept not because we understand it, but more because it is taught to

us by Christ, who cannot deceive nor be deceived by us.

   

    This sacrament, seen under its three aspects as spiritual food (Holy

Communion), supreme sacrifice (Holy Mass), and divine presence

(Blessed Sacrament), makes this Paschal mystery present, and not only

remembered in the usual manner we understand by the word, remember.

    We need to work out our thinking, attitudes and feelings so as to

capture this wonderful reality that we often take for granted. That’s

why, we need to pray, meditate, study, develop the appropriate

virtues, fight against our weaknesses and temptations, etc.

    But one sacrament with its corresponding and underlying virtue that

is indispensable for this effort is the sacrament of penance or

reconciliation. It enables us to be born again, to regain our state of

grace after we have lost it through sin.

    The sacrament presumes and always requires the virtue of penance

which is none other than the abiding acknowledgement of our sinfulness

and the urge to go back to Christ by way of acts of penance, the

highest form of which is by availing of the sacrament of penance or

confession.

    Especially these days when the sense of sin is slowly being eroded by

all sorts of anti-Christian if not anti-human ideologies with their

corresponding lifestyles, we need to bring to the fore the importance

of both the virtue and the sacrament of penance.

    Of course, to recover the proper understanding and attitude toward

penance, we need to go back to Christ, to have faith, to be simple and

humble enough to realize that Christ is the fullness of the revelation

of God who is our creator and everything to us.

    Only through him would we know what is sin and what is not. Without

him, we will just be guided by our natural self that, as we already

know, is quite wounded and handicapped by sin itself. Its estimation

of what is good and evil is at best tentative and many times confused

if not wrong.

    To recover the proper understanding and attitude toward penance, we

need to heed the teaching of the Church that has been endowed by

Christ with the full authority to keep and transmit the deposit of

faith in its integrity infallibly.

    The virtue of penance also involves the need for self-denial,

restraint and moderation in the use of things, especially those that

give us the utmost comfort and pleasure, like food, drinks, fun, and

other sensual delights, especially the direct use of our human

sexuality.

    It is in this area that we should try to be most generous in

abstaining and fasting, because they go a long way in building up our

proper understanding of penance. Let’s remember what Christ said: “For

the measure with which you measure will in return be measured out to

you.” (Lk 6,38)

New heart, new creation

ONE objective of Lent is to prepare us for our new creation in Christ.
Yes, we need to be made new, that is, to emerge from our state of
sinfulness and weakness, so as to become “alter Christus,” another
Christ, if not “ipse Christus,” Christ himself.

Christ, the second person of the Blessed Trinity who became man to be
the way, truth and life to us, is the very pattern and substance of
our humanity. Remember that we have been made in the image and
likeness of God, and adopted children of his.

To have a new heart, to be a new creation is the ideal we should
strive to pursue. It requires both God’s action, which is always done,
and our correspondence, which depends on how we use our freedom.

Thus, we hear God saying, “My son, give me your heart.” (Prov 23,26)
It’s moving to hear God begging of us to give what is most precious to
us, our heart. He does this because he does not impose himself on us.
He respects our freedom, which is actually his gift to us, making us
precisely his image and likeness.

And on our part, we should not be afraid to give it, knowing that what
seems a loss to us by giving our heart to God would actually be a
tremendous gain. Christ spoke much about this self-giving that
actually enriches us rather than impoverishing us.

So, our attitude should sound like what is expressed in Psalm 50.
“Create in me a new heart, O Lord.” If we really know who we are or
how we stand before God who is everything to us, I suppose we cannot
ask him in a tone other than this. We also need to beg him, to
importune him, even if we know that as a good Father, he always gives.

This is simply the language of love into which we have to enter if we
want to develop a relationship with God. What all this leads to is
that we need to take care of our heart. We need to protect it and keep
it always new with the newness that can only come from Christ, our
savior and perfecter.

First, we need to be aware of the true nature and proper character of
our heart. Nowadays, many caricatures are made of it, trivializing and
distorting it along childish and frivolous categories.

The Catechism defines and describes our heart as “the seat of moral
personality,” “the dwelling-place where I am, where I live,” “our
hidden center, beyond the grasp of our reason and of others; only the
Spirit of God can fathom the human heart and know it fully,” “the
place of decision, deeper than our psychic drives,” etc.

Finally, the Catechism describes our heart as “the place of encounter,
because as image of God we live in relation—it is the place of
covenant.” In short, it is where we meet God, where we hear his voice
and get to know his will.

Obviously, this ideal definition and description of our heart is often
marred by our own weaknesses and sins. We often ignore our heart, if
not trample over it to allow the impulses of our wounded flesh and the
sinful world to dominate us. And so, we make a wreck out of our own
heart.

Thus, the need to purify and strengthen our heart. One of the
beatitudes precisely talks about this. “Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they shall see God.” And the Catechism comments: “Pure in heart’
refers to those who have attuned their intellects and wills to the
demands of God’s holiness.”

This is what we should be more aware of. How are we thinking, how are
we using our will, how are we desiring, liking and loving? What
usually happens is that we allow our mind and heart to just go
anywhere they like or anywhere our wounded human condition directs
them.

We often forget that we need to anchor and engage them with God
always, whatever we may be thinking, planning, saying or doing. The
effort to do that is what precisely would give us a new heart, making
ourselves a new creation in Christ, the only mediator between God and
us.

We need to leave behind our poor albeit falsely brilliant ideas of how
our heart should be, or of how we can be forever youthful. We need to
be with Christ to have the new heart, making ourselves a new creation
that is imperishable, undefiled and unfading.

Temptations

IT’S important that we know exactly what to do in Lent which is a very

special season in the liturgical year. It is supposed to identify us

more closely with Christ who, as our redeemer and perfecter of our

humanity, shows us precisely how to face the many trials and

challenges in our life.

Among them are the temptations that we cannot avoid. Christ himself

already warned us about this. “Woe to the world because of

temptations. For it must be that temptations come.” (Mt 18,7)

Of course, if we think a little, we will readily realize why it is so.

Our spiritual faculties of intelligence and will, which enable us to

know the truth and to choose the good, have been darkened and weakened

by sin.

Though not completely detached from the source of truth and goodness

which is God, they are in a badly handicapped condition that need to

be cured, healed, rehabbed, or at least purified and strengthened.

Thus, we now have what is called concupiscence, which is a certain

attraction toward evil. St. John in his first letter distinguishes

this concupiscence into concupiscence of the flesh, concupiscence of

the eyes, and the pride of life. (cf 2,16)

We start to feel this concupiscence when we begin to use our reason

and will, because that’s when we can think we can be by ourselves,

instead of being always with God and with others, which is the ideal

way we ought to live our life.

That’s why it is important that at their very tender age, children

should be taught to train their mind and heart to engage God in love,

and because of that love, to be engaged also with everybody else.

Otherwise, the children can harden in their self-centered attitudes as

they grow to adulthood.

Aside from our wounded human nature with its concupiscence, the other

sources of temptations are the world and the devil himself. The world,

which originally was good because it also has been created by God, has

unfortunately absorbed the evil effects of our sinfulness, and so it

can exercise an evil influence over us.

The devil, of course, was originally a good angel created by God also

to be like him, with intelligence and will superior to ours since they

are pure spirits,  but who at the beginning of his existence abused

those gifts and chose to be by himself, making God his enemy.

He is a most powerful enemy that we have to contend with. St. Paul

warns us about this: “Our wrestling is not against flesh and blood,

but against the principalities, and the powers, against the

world-rulers of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of

wickedness on high.” (Eph 6,11-12)

And we can easily delude ourselves by rationalizing that we can take

all the temptations, even to the extent of falling into the Napoleonic

complex of thinking only ordinary people obey laws, while the

extraordinary people have the right to transgress laws with impunity.

But we should remain calm and optimistic when tempted, since

temptations can usher great benefits to us. They point to us where we

are weak at, as well as what precious treasures we have since the

devil is provoked to tempt us. We usually are not aware of these

aspects of life until we are tempted.

Temptations also can occasion the urge to get closer to God,

developing more virtues and increasing our intimacy with him. In his

letter, St. James tells us, “Count it all joy when you shall fall into

diverse temptations, knowing that the trying of your faith works

patience...that you may be perfect and entire, failing in nothing.”

(1,2-4)

In other words, temptations can purify and strengthen us, and give us

an opportunity to grow in our spiritual life, in our love for God, and

in gaining more merits for our struggles, etc. Besides, we are assured

that with his grace God does not allow us to be tempted beyond our

capacity to resist.

St. Paul tells us that: “God is faithful, who will not suffer you to

be tempted above that which you are able, but will make also with

temptation issue, that you may be able to bear it.” (1 Cor 10,13)

The secret is to meditate on the example of how Christ dealt with his

own temptation. Consider the argument of St. Augustine: “If in Christ

we have been tempted, in him we overcame the devil. Do you think only

of Christ’s temptations and fail to think of his victory?

“See yourself as tempted in him, and see yourself as victorious in him.”

Cultivate hunger for God

THIS is what fasting and abstinence seek to accomplish, practices we

are encouraged to do during the season of Lent. It is to deprive

ourselves of what gives us the usual and most bodily pleasure so that

we can develop a certain hunger for God.

These practices are meant to provoke a spiritual hunger for God, a

hunger that does not come biologically. It’s a hunger that needs to be

cultivated, and it is hoped that the physical hunger effected by these

practices can trigger this spiritual hunger.

We therefore have to understand that these Lenten practices, rather

than just some Church precepts that we have to fulfill, have a basic

and indispensable inner component that should not be covered up by

mere external fulfillment of these practices.

We have to make sure that the self-denial involved in these practices

is done by our heart and will and not just by their physical and

material performance. We need to train our heart and will to

experience that hunger for God by linking that spiritual hunger with

our physical and material hunger.

This means that we need to align our mind and heart to the truths of

faith, before they get dominated by the impulses of the flesh and

other worldly factors and conditionings. This is a crucial operation

that we need to do in life. This is when we conform to the objective

truth about ourselves. This is when we are truly sincere.

Thus, in one prayer of the Mass during Lent, we ask: “Show gracious

favor, O Lord, we pray, to the works of penance we have begun, that we

may have strength to accomplish with sincerity the bodily observances

we undertake.”

These Lenten practices therefore bring to the fore the disconnect

between our spiritual self and our bodily self, a disconnect that they

try to bridge. That is why, Lent, rather than just a dull period of

self-denial, should be a most exciting and thrilling season when we do

some urgent repair job and strengthening exercises for ourselves.

This is the Good News about fasting and abstinence that we have to

welcome as eagerly and warmly as possible. That’s because these

practices actually contribute to the revitalization of our spiritual

life that never dies even as our bodily organism will unavoidably

disintegrate one day to be resurrected at the end of time.

It’s important that we see this truth about fasting and abstinence

because very often this truth is glossed over or buried under the

waves and waves of physical, material and sensual titillations of our

environment.

In fact, we need to spread this truth around, presenting it in ways

easily understandable to all kinds of people, young and old alike, to

save us from an ignorance and error that can be fatal to

us—spiritually fatal, that is.

We need to overcome our lack of sensitivity to God and to the things

of God, doing this also with naturalness, without making strange

actuations that can distort the truth about our need for God and the

spiritual and supernatural realities that we are meant to live in.

Thus, in the school I suggested to the kids who, of course, are not

yet obliged to do fasting and abstinence that, after explaining the

concept of fasting and abstinence, they can start doing these acts of

penance by delaying a little their play time after classes.

Kids, of course, love to play. They go to it like ducklings to water.

It’s automatic for them. But precisely by teaching them to delay it a

little and to spend a few moments of prayer in the chapel, they start

getting the idea. Obviously, they need to be followed up, prompting

them what to think, say and do in the chapel.

They actually get things quickly, and that’s why it’s important that

kids, as early as when they can start understanding things, be taught

and given example of how to have hunger for God. Otherwise, the bodily

urges dominate and blind them to the practical reality of God.

Obviously, everyone has to do what is appropriate to him in terms of

acts of penance. There is always hope. Even a person already hardened

in the ways of the world can still be touched by grace if he also

makes an attempt to do some fasting and abstinence properly.

If this Good News about fasting and abstinence is spread and

assimilated, for sure we will be seeing in the future many men and

women who will be at home both with God and with the world.

Freeing the senses

WE need to be more aware of our duty to take care of our senses. We

need to educate them, train them according to what is truly good for

human dignity. We just cannot allow them to move and behave by

themselves.

Yes, our eyes, ears, nose and our sense of touch and the accompanying

feelings, emotions and passions, plus the imagination and memory that

they create, need to be put on the right track. They need to be reined

in, rather than left to follow their immediate, raw and unprocessed

impulses and urges.

In theory, they need to be attached and directed by our higher

faculties of intelligence and will, and even by a more fundamental

principle which is none other than the theological virtues of faith,

hope and charity, that connect us to our ultimate origin and goal,

God.

In practice, however, this is hardly the case. Most of the time,

people just follow what to their thinking “comes naturally.” That is

to say, precisely just what their senses and feelings tell them to

think, desire, speak and do.

This is like letting barbarians to lead the development of

civilization. If ever there is some growth and improvement of culture

attained in this way, it is purely by accident and at a very great

cost, a Pyrrhic victory that involves more losses than gains.

Educating and reining in our senses and feelings in no way means

enslaving them or taking away their freedom, much less violating their

nature. It only means freeing them of their usual error to be on their

own when they in fact need to be guided and directed.

Educating and reining in our senses and feelings, including our

imagination and memory, means purifying them of their usual

limitations that can easily invite errors and deformations, and

empowering them to serve the true good of man.

When this happens, the senses and feelings and their accompanying

components actually enjoy a sublime, exquisite joy and sense of

beauty, a lot more, in fact, incomparably more than the stolen and

illicit pleasure one can derive when he just lets his senses be by

themselves.

When this happens, the senses and feelings actually sing and dance,

completely unburdened by any load of concern even as they continue to

be mindful of the reality of things that surely include negative

elements. But they would know how to deal with them, living a certain

kind detachment and abandonment so indispensable in our life.

Unfortunately this sublime joy and beauty experienced when the senses

relish their true freedom, and not the bogus one, is hardly known by

many people nowadays. It will take some massive and heroic effort to

reverse and correct the situation.

That’s why great attention has to be given in forming the young

children in the right use of their senses, feelings, imagination and

memory. It is necessary that this aspect be taken care of, since these

elements enter into the building up of their character that more or

less, defines their whole life.

How truly nice it would be if the children grow up remaining childlike

in their character even as they get exposed to more and more things in

life—challenges, trials, failures, successes, etc.—and knowing how to

deal with them as a child.

I suppose this is part of the aim of education. It’s paradoxical, of

course, to associate being like a child with human and Christian

maturity. But that’s just how the cookie crumbles.

Christ himself teaches us as much. “Be wise as serpents and simple as

doves.” (Mt 10,16) The reference to doves can easily be the image for

a childlike character. More significantly, Christ says: ‘Unless you be

converted, and become as little children, you shall not enter into the

kingdom of heaven.” (Mt 18,3)

We have to understand that growing up does not necessarily meaning

leaving behind our childhood. In like manner, becoming an adult with

the accompanying accumulation of knowledge and experience if not

wisdom does not necessarily mean we have to be all serious and discard

the use of the senses and feelings.

While it’s true that there is a distinction between a child and an

adult, and between our senses and our intellect and will, we need to

understand that these pairs need to be blended in some mutual relation

that works for the true good of our humanity as defined by natural law

and ultimately by our faith in God.

We have to overcome the dichotomy between the two elements. We have to

work toward truly freeing our senses to let them serve our authentic

dignity.

How to fall in love

FALLING in love is certainly not only a pastime, nor a sideline, nor
a fling. It’s the main thing, the main course in life. It’s our
lifeblood.

 

All of us need to fall in love, because without love, life would have
no meaning, no purpose, no lasting and eternal effect. Without love,
life would fail to fulfill the deepest yearning of our heart. Without
love everything falls flat.

   

Though in practice we always love one way or another—even if our
loving is defective—we have to realize also that we need to fall in
love properly, understanding such love as going beyond the dynamics of
the emotions and passions that at best are just transitory.

   

For sure, love should not just be an outlet of some hormonal surges
that can get stirred by what we see, smell, touch, taste or like.
Neither should it be just a function of some psychological and
temperamental conditionings and other socio-cultural factors.

   

How then should we fall in love properly? By understanding love,
first of all, as a gift from God that we need to receive and
correspond. Love comes from God. It can only be lived and developed in
him, and never outside of him.

   

Let’s stop deluding ourselves by thinking that we can generate love
by ourselves. We can only love when we receive first the gift of love
from others.

   

These others can be, from a chronological point of view, first, our
parents, then our siblings, relatives and friends, etc. Only then can
we learn how to love others. But viewed from a bigger perspective of
love in its ultimate dimensions, we actually receive love first, in
the absolute sense, from God.

   

It is God who loves us first. That’s why in his first letter, St.
John said: “In this is charity—not as though we had loved God, but
because he has first loved us, and sent his Son to be a propitiation
for our sins.” (4,10)

   

We have to understand that we need to tackle love first of all in its
theological sense before it is considered from other valid but
incomplete and imperfect viewpoints. That would be putting love in its
proper framework and context.
    
   

That’s usually our problem. Many of us are still allergic to seeing
things in life in a theological way, allowing faith to shed light on
what our senses can discern and on what our intelligence can
understand.

   

To fall in love properly therefore entails going to God first. That
is why we need to learn to pray, to enter into a very personal and
intimate relationship with him, and this usually takes place first of
all in our mind and heart, in our thoughts and desires.

   

We need to see to it that these basic human operations are anchored
on God and are inspired by his love for us, that is, his care for us,
the truth that he teaches us, his way of doing things that gives us an
idea of how our virtues ought to be developed.

   

Definitely, we need to do some disciplining and controlling of our
thoughts, imagination, feelings, etc. We just should not allow them to
go on their own without the guidance of faith and the drive of charity
that comes from God.

   

Indeed, a lot of training is needed here, if not, continuing struggle
and combat, since we cannot deny the fact that we are beset with
weakness and a certain attraction to evil, if not outright malice.

   

Besides, temptations are all around us. Loving therefore involves
suffering, a certain measure of pain, anguish, tension. These should
not dampen our spirits. We should rather consider them as elements
that add fun and excitement and suspense in our life.

   

The liturgical season of Lent is a good occasion to go deeper in the
skills of spiritual combat and what is known as ascetical struggle,
aside from the fact that it is meant mainly to arouse in us the spirit
of penance.

   

This spirit of penance is also as aspect of true love. Where there is
love, the desire to make up for our past mistakes, falls, offenses,
etc., also would come naturally to us. And yet this desire for penance
is done in joy and peace, knowing that it is precisely out of love
that we do it.

   

Proper loving, while it is also abiding, is never showy. Neither does
it engender in us the mentality or feelings of a victim. Loving is the
assertion of freedom. We do things because we want to.