Marriage is no joke

FOR fun, people nowadays often make and trade jokes about marriage. Some of the recent ones that managed to tickle me are the following: 

 - I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. (Bill Clinton) 

 - There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage. (Michael Jordan) 

 - A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong. (Barack Obama) 

 - When you are in love, wonders happen. But once you get married, you wonder, what happened. (Steve Jobs) 

 We obviously should not take these jokes seriously, although many people say that they contain some grain of truth. Well, jokes will always have some grain of truth in them, otherwise they would not be funny. But that’s because whatever grain of truth they have is taken out of context or is not referred to the over-all nature and character of marriage. The grain of truth should therefore be taken with a grain of salt. 

We need to see to it that we understand the real nature and purpose of marriage and the means of how to live it properly. For this, we need to go to its creator who is God and not us. 

 Many of the problems that arise in marriage nowadays precisely spring from the fact the many people nowadays do not anymore refer things to God to know their true nature, purpose and the proper means to use and live them. 

 People seem to prefer to refer marriage to their own ideas only, to their own consensus, which even in their best condition cannot cope with all the possible scenarios that marriage can occasion. They think that with their own ideas and their own powers alone or with the help of others only, they can make marriage work. With that mindset, it will just be a matter of time before they get disappointed and contradicted. 

 We need to understand that marriage is, first of all, a creation of God. It is not our own making, our own invention. As such, we need to go to God to understand it properly and to live it as it should be lived. 

Marriage is meant for the proper development of humanity according to the designs that God has for mankind. It is meant for man and woman to generate love and to keep that love going not only for themselves, but also for God and for everybody else. In fact, it is meant to reflect the very love of God for mankind, for the Church. 

 It is meant for the establishment of a family, for the propagation of mankind, for the proper upbringing, education and formation of children, and for the good and welfare of the spouses and society in general. 

More importantly, marriage has to be understood as a path of sanctification and apostolate for the persons involved. As such, it will always be involved in the drama of human salvation. There will be light and shadows, successes and defeats, gains and losses, good times and bad times, but in the end, if we do our part by uniting ourselves with Christ, we will also enjoy the victory of Christ. Christ always has the last word. 

 So, while we can make some fun about marriage, let’s see to it that we fully understand that marriage is no joke. It is a serious business about our relation with God!

Avoid romanticizing or downplaying Christian life

CHRISTIAN life is both difficult and easy. Difficult because it truly demands more than what we can give or cope. The goal it wants us to aim at is nothing less than something supernatural, not merely natural. That goal can only be fully achieved in heaven, not here on earth, though aspects of it can be enjoyed already here. 

 But it is also easy because God’s grace is always there. All the means we need to live it in all the circumstances of our life have been given. There is abundant divine mercy and compassion when we find ourselves in difficulties. God never leaves us even if we dare to leave him. 

 Let’s be clear about this point. Hell is when we completely shut God off from us, even if God continues to keep us in existence. Hell is when we hate God definitively even if God continues to love us. God can never hate anyone no matter how bad one is. 

 So we should never romanticize our Christian life as if we can attain a perfect state of life here where there will be no more problems, no more difficulties, no more tears and death. 

 We will always be hounded by our natural limitations, our weaknesses, our mistakes and failures, the many temptations around and sin itself. And with this condition, we should just try our best to deal with them. Thus, we can neither downplay our responsibility to live the Christian life. 

 What Christ showed us are ideals that we should try our best to pursue and live by. But let’s never think that we can live those Christian ideals perfectly. We can always try and try, and that is what actually is being expected of us—that we just try and try. 

 The perfection of our Christian life is first of all a supernatural thing. It can never be achieved mainly on our own effort and powers. Let’s remember what St. Paul said in this regard: “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion.” (Phil 1,6) 

 Thus, when we try our best to live the Christian life and propose it also to others, we should be realistic in the sense that while we should try to show the true demands of Christian life, we should never forget the reality of our limitations. 

 We should never present the Christian life as if it can be perfect with heavenly bliss while still in this world. We can only make suggestions, encouragements, corrections, etc. It will always be a work in progress. To present it as something that can be totally finished here on earth is to make an illusion. Christ will perfect it for and with us. 

 But we should not underestimate the importance of the all-out effort we have to give to live Christian life. We have to continually struggle. We have to see to it that what God has given us all we need to be fruitful, never saying enough to that effort. 

 We can never think that just because Christian life in the end can only be achieved supernaturally, and that God is always merciful, we can take it easy. We have to continually fight and struggle. 

 There is indeed a great need to have the proper understanding of Christian life, freed of the extremes of romanticism and minimalism.

Virtue signaling and gaslighting

WE have to be wary of these tricks that news and opinion makers often use these days to push their ideas, agenda or narrative. While it’s good that they should set out their credentials to establish and strengthen their credibility, we have to see if the tone and timing of such journalistic devices are proper and relevant to the issues at hand. 

 We cannot help but be discerning of the real motives of these news and opinion makers, because we cannot deny that often instead of objectivity and fairness, what is aimed at is the fulfillment of their biases and other ulterior motives. While generally we should give everyone the benefit of the doubt, these days to omit this consideration would generally be considered as a clear manifestation of naivete. 

 Especially in matters of opinion and even in matter of faith and beliefs, we can expect differences and conflicts. These differences and conflicts are not necessarily bad. With the proper attitude and skills, they can enrich our knowledge of things in general and occasion the development and refinement of virtues. 

When differences and conflicts occur, we should rather try to engage in respectful dialogue, sorting out things carefully, and looking for common ground rather than getting stuck with what can divide us. 

 One source defines virtue signaling as “the action or practice of publicly expressing opinions or sentiments intended to demonstrate one’s good character or the moral correctness of one’s position on a particular issue.” This is meant, of course, to undercut others who differ or contradict their views. 

 Another source puts it as “a pejorative neologism for the conspicuous and disingenuous expression of moral values with the intent to enhance one’s own image.” Still another source describes it as taking “a conspicuous but essentially useless action ostensibly to support a good cause but actually to show off how much more moral one is than everybody else.” We should try our best to stay away from virtue signaling. 

Gaslighting, on the other hand, is, as one source describes it, “a form of psychological manipulation in which a person or a group covertly sows seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or group, making them question their own memory, perception and judgment…Using denial, misdirection, contradiction, and misinformation, gaslighting involves attempts to destabilize the victim and delegitimize the victim’s beliefs.” 

 In other words, gaslighting is a form of attack that is immoral, with the requirements of charity thrown away and the Machiavellian principle of any means justifying the end as its main guide. It does not attack so much the views of a person as the person himself. 

 In its real and bare character, gaslighting uses the crude means of insulting, mocking, ridiculing those with different or conflicting views, perhaps a bit camouflaged with some subtle rhetorical devices, which makes things worse since they can appear to be acceptable in public exchanges. 

 We have to do everything to stay away from these journalistic tricks that can only add poison to our social environment but in a manner that is subtle and not easily detectable. 

 What we should rather do is always to listen to everyone no matter how different and in conflict their views are from ours. The exchanges should be courteous all the time, and effort should always be made to find the common ground rather than to get stuck in the differences and conflicts.

The slippery slope to self-indulgence

WE have to be wary of this danger that is clearly becoming widespread. Self-indulgence is a constant threat, especially these days when good and evil are so mixed up that we would mostly likely be left confused and easily taken by sweet poisons that today’s new things readily offer. 

 The slippery slope to self-indulgence that takes us out of our road to our ultimate and proper goal is happening practically everywhere. For example, we can start going to the Internet for the legitimate purpose of getting information that we need. But along the way, we get distracted by something else that can appear to us as interesting. 

 We take a bite, and then another bite, until we fail to realize that we are already getting entangled and hooked. It is like being hijacked. We lose our sense of direction, and before we know it we would already have forgotten why we went to the Internet in the first place. We would be trapped in a state of obsession and addiction that can be so strong that it can defy rationality and common sense. 

 This is now a very common phenomenon which should challenge us to find the appropriate solutions and the relevant guiding principles and practices. I imagine that the first thing to do is to realize that there is always some spirit that is behind every move we make. Thus, we need to identify as precisely as possible the spirit the moves us to do certain things. 

 We can know the spirit by probing into the reason and motive behind our actions. That spirit can be found in the intention with which we do certain things. We should quickly identify this spirit to see if it is the one proper to us or not. 

 And given our weakened and vulnerable condition, we should always be most careful to know and protect the spirit proper to us, since we can easily be seduced and dominated by the wrong spirit. 

 We know that there are different kinds of spirit. There is the spirit of God, of course, which is the one that is proper to us. It is the spirit of love that is shown to us in full by Christ who told us that if we want to follow him as we should, or if we want to have the proper love, we have to learn how to deny ourselves and to carry the cross. (cfr. Lk 9,23) 

 It’s a spirit that would help us to be prudent in our judgments and actions, knowing that many other bad spirits can overtake us. Thus, it would encourage us to practice a certain degree of restraint and moderation, especially in areas that are still new to us. 

 Then there are other spirits, like the spirit of the world, the spirit of the flesh, and the spirit of the devil himself. We have to be wary of them always, always taking the necessary precautions not to be led by them. Again, given our weakened and vulnerable condition, we can easily be seduced by them. So we just have to be guarded all the time. 

 These inadequate and totally evil spirits will always try to possess us, and so there is no other alternative but for us to wage real war against them, always keeping vigilance and continually rectifying and purifying our intentions, especially when we go to the Internet that offers a lot of sweet poisons.

Missio ‘ad gentes’

IN English, this Latin expression can be roughly translated as our mission toward all the people. This expression, by the way, is made by our bishops as the pastoral theme for year 2021 that culminates the preparation for and begins the celebration of the 500 years of Christianity in our country. 

 The expression ‘ad gentes’ comes from the words of Christ who told his disciples to “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation.” (Mk 16,15) The Second Vatican Council adopted this expression in one of its decrees that dealt on the missionary activity of the Church. 

 It behooves all Christian believers to be most aware of this intention of the Church to carry out this mandate of Christ before he ascended into heaven. Everyone needs to examine himself to see if this intention is given due attention. 

 Everyone, from the Pope to the last lay person, needs to feel as fully as possible the weight and the urgency of this duty to go forth to the whole world and proclaim the gospel, which is nothing less than presenting the living and redemptive Christ, the whole mystery of Christ to the whole world. 

 Being the pattern of our humanity and the redeemer of our damaged humanity, Christ is not meant only for a few people. He is not only for those who now call themselves as Christians. He is for everyone. 

Thus, every Christian, if he is to be an authentic Christian, should feel the responsibility to be a missionary also in his own way. This is a duty that is incumbent on every Christian. It’s not optional. 

 This can only happen if he truly identifies himself with Christ as he should, having the same mind, spirit and mission of Christ, such that as Christ himself said, whoever sees and listens to a Christian believer also sees and listens to Christ himself and to the one who sent Christ to us. (cfr. Lk 10,16) 

 We definitely need to realize more deeply that our being Christians essentially involves our being missionaries also. For this, we need to realize that everything in our life can and should be a material, a reason, an occasion to carry out this missionary duty. There is actually nothing in our life that cannot be made use of to carry out this duty. 

 After 500 years of Christianity, we should realize that Christ is meant for everyone. While this duty to proclaim Christ has to start with oneself and then to our family and our close friends, relatives and colleagues at work, we should realize that we are meant to have a universal outlook in carrying out this missionary duty. 

 Yes, while each one more or less has a niche or a specific place in doing apostolate and mission work, we should see to it that we are not trapped in one part of the world. Just as nowadays there is a keen interest in globalizing some economic, social, political and even ideological concerns, there should also be a more driving interest in globalizing Christ, so to speak, making him known and loved by everyone. 

 This definitely will require tremendous effort and discipline. Obviously, we have to continually ask for the grace of God, because only with that grace can we aspire to fulfill this mandate from Christ. And then we have to study the different ways of how we can deal with everyone. And the Church offers guidelines for this.

Formation for the new normal

WE need to pause if only to figure out how we can meet our need for continuing education and formation under and for the new normal. Things are quite different now, and there are bases to think that these differences are quite drastic and will last longer than we expect or like, or can even remain permanently. We need to prepare ourselves for this big challenge. 

 First of all, we should never neglect our life of piety, because this at bottom is what truly matters and what would sustain, protect and guide us as we face and cruise these uncertain times. With this vibrant life of piety, we can manage to feel confident and optimistic despite the many surprises and trials that surely will come our way. 

 It’s important that we have a healthy and positive attitude toward this new challenge that should be based on our strong faith in God and in his ever-wise providence. With him, we would feel assured that only something dramatically good can come out of these extraordinary times. 

 We should just be game and sport about the whole thing, open-minded, flexible, adaptive and versatile toward the new things we will be discovering and be made to tackle. We have to develop these qualities even as we should be clear about our goals, from the immediate all the way to the ultimate one. In other words, we have to be quite focused without being rigid. The new developments would never change what are truly essential to us and what are simply incidental and optional. 

 It’s important that we know how to orchestrate the different elements involved. Yes, we have to learn when to move fast and when to move slow, when to be active and when to be contemplative, how to distinguish between the essential and the incidental. We have to sharpen our sense of order and priority, especially because very often we would be faced with competing priorities. 

 Given how things are now, we should be ready to learn new things like the new technologies, distance learning and online classes, the use of modules, etc. In this regard, since many of us would be quite ignorant about these new things, we should not hesitate to consult those who know. We just have to humble ourselves so that even if we are already of a certain age, we can still flow with the times together with the young ones. 

 To be sure, there will be new aspects that we have to learn about the virtues and skills that we already have. It’s kind of polishing or refining them, or raising them to the next level. So you see, this new normal would be a good opportunity for further personal growth and development. We should therefore be welcoming of it rather than be anxious and scared of it. 

 The important thing is that we don’t lose sight of what is truly essential about the whole thing. And that is that we should go through this new stage of our life with God always, and never just by our own selves, relying simply on our own powers. 

 That would be the most important part of the education and formation that we should be undergoing under and for this new normal. Remember that with God, everything will always work out for the good. (cfr. Rom 8,28)

Sense of responsibility and abandonment

WE should develop the proper sense of responsibility and abandonment. Given our human condition that is marked both by power and weakness, talents and limitations, we should feel responsible for everything in our life as much as possible, as well as learn to live the proper sense of abandonment when faced with our weaknesses, limitations and mistakes. 

 Let’s remember that we are stewards of God’s vineyard here on earth. As such we have been given enough powers to undertake our work. We have intelligence and will, very powerful faculties that would enable us to do a great variety of things. 

 Just like the servants in the parable of the talents (cfr. Mt 25,14-30), we have been given by God, our master, enough talents and gifts for us to make use of. Let’s try our best to be like those servants who managed to trade with those talents and gained also as much. Let’s remember that with what God has given us, we are quite powerful! 

 But we should neither forget that no matter how much we try to be productive and fruitful, we also have our limitations and weaknesses, not to mention our mistakes and failures in spite of the powerful gifts God has given us. 

 In this case, we should just leave things with the proper sense of abandonment in the hands of God who, in the end, will take care of everything. Let’s remember Christ’s words: “Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns. Yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?” (Mt 6, 26-27) 

 The important thing to remember is that whether we are able or not to do something in this life, we should just refer ourselves to God. If we are able, if we succeed in something, let’s thank God and strengthen our will to do things always in accordance to God’s will. This way we avoid getting spoiled by pride and vanity due to our accomplishments. 

 And if we are not able, or when we fail, which is something that can happen in spite of our efforts, we should just go to God, asking for forgiveness and more strength, etc. Let’s remember that there simply are things that are beyond our powers, or are impossible for us to resolve. We should just imitate Christ who in his “failure and defeat” when he suffered and died on the cross, simply left everything in the hands of his Father. 

 It might be good to echo in our own words and in the mode adapted to the concrete situation we are in, those final words of Christ on the cross: “Father, into your hands, I commit my spirit.” (Lk 23,46) Those words express the proper sense of abandonment that we ought to have. 

 In this way, we avoid getting unnecessarily sad, depressed or discouraged. We would just move on, like a good sportsman, willing to bear whatever adverse consequences our limitations, failures and mistakes can occasion. 

 God will take care of everything. In this regard, it might be useful to remind ourselves of what St. Paul said in his Letter to the Philippians: “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” (1,6) It’s God who will finish, complete and perfect everything for us!

Let’s always be focused

ESPECIALLY these days when we are easily carried away by many distracting elements, what with all we can devour in the social media, videos, etc., we need to remind ourselves quite strongly that we have to be well focused on what is truly essential in our life. 

 We have to remind ourselves that our life here on earth is actually a testing and training ground for what God, our Father and Creator, wants us to be, that is, that we be his image and likeness, adopted children of his, meant to share in his very own life in eternity. 

 Everything that we are, we have and we do in this life should be made as an occasion, material or reason for us to attain that God-given goal for us. Everything should be related and referred to him. Simply being on our own and doing things on our own, without any reference to God, is an anomaly. It would surely end in tragedy even if we feel we are having a good time in our life. 

 This fundamental truth about ourselves should be proclaimed time and time again because we are notorious for taking it for granted, if not for violating it. We have to remind everyone that we have to take the necessary steps for us to be aware of this truth and to live according to it. 

 Obviously, what is truly helpful in this regard is that everyone learns really how to pray, how to engage God in a continuing conversation, or at least to have an abiding awareness of his presence and interventions in our life. 

 That is why prayer is indispensable in our life. It is what would make us aware of who we really are, what the real purpose of our life on earth is, how we ought to behave in the different situations and circumstances of our life. It is what would help us to refer everything to God, what would keep us in the proper focus. 

 When we truly pray and keep that prayerful attitude throughout the day, converting ourselves practically into a contemplative soul even while immersed in the things of this world, we would know how to organize our day properly, keenly discerning and discriminating among the many options we have at a given moment. 

 When we pray, we would know how to be in the world without being of the world or worldly, as Christ mentioned in his priestly prayer. (cfr. Jn 17,16) We would know how to be immersed in the things of the world without being swallowed up by them. 

 Indeed, when we pray we would become most productive and fruitful in our life, able to convert everything into a means of our sanctification, with its indispensable companion of apostolate, which is what truly matters in this life. 

 It’s a pity that many people get entangled in the things of this world, as in business and politics, arts and sciences, culture and technologies, but not knowing how to orient these things to God. As a result, while they may show some accomplishments, they end up eaten up by pride, vanity, lust, greed, envy, etc., an example of how people can gain the world but lose their soul. (cfr. Mt 16,26) 

 We have to convince ourselves that it is all worthwhile to always have a sense of focus in our life.

What fruits can we reap after 500 years?

I’M referring to the 500 years of Christianity in the Philippines, the preparation for the celebration of its anniversary the Archdiocese of Cebu, in particular, is now in its final sprint. 

 It’s definitely a complex question to answer. We can say, of course, that many good things have indeed happened, have indeed been accomplished, etc., but neither can we deny that there are still many issues to be tackled, problems to be solved, things to be done. 

 I suppose this is how things in general will always be. There will always be lights and shadows, progress in some areas and deficiencies and failures in others. But we just have to move on and do our best to chart a more clear and coordinated way to live our Christianity, personally and collectively, better. This will always be a work in progress, never a finished project in our earthly life. 

 I believe the first thing to do is to be profusely and sincerely thankful to God for the countless graces we have received through the history of our nation. We have to be thankful that as a people, we already had a strong religious inclination even before Christianity came to our shore. 

 We already believed in some deity, in some spiritual and supernatural beings, etc., albeit mixed with a lot of superstitions. In this regard, we showed ourselves as a simple and a believing people, open and receptive to the Christian faith when it finally came to us. 

 Despite the heavy drama that played out in the Christianization of our country, we can confidently, even proudly say that we are a Christian nation that also knows how to be open, tolerant and friendly to a variety of other religions and beliefs. This can easily be shown by the many manifestations of popular piety that we can see in many parts of our country. 

 In Cebu, for example, the devotion to the Child Jesus (Sto. Nino) is strong and widespread. In Manila, we have the devotion to the Black Nazarene. The celebration of the feasts of patron saints is practiced everywhere. We have the “Simbang Gabi” tradition. And each liturgical season, as in Lent, Easter, Advent, has its peculiar way of living it. Thanks to God, we have a good number of priestly and religious vocations in the seminaries and various religious communities. 

 But a lot still need to be done and improved. The Christian formation of everyone has to continue developing, this time tackling the challenges of the new developments and the so-called new normal. The life of prayer really has to be made strong and consistent, one that would lead us to bear real and tangible fruits of personal holiness and apostolate. 

 There is also the question of whether we can truly consider ourselves as the vanguard of Christianity at least in Asia as we are expected to be. Yes, we cannot deny that many Filipinos who are working abroad or who have already migrated, are bringing with them at least some traces of the Christian spirit to where they work and live. 

 Indeed there are many fruits that we can reap after 500 years of Christianity, but there are still a lot more, in fact endlessly more, that still need to be done. Our Church leaders—bishops, priests, and active lay people—should continue to do their best in propagating the Christian faith and life everywhere, starting with where they are now.

Seeing God everywhere

WE have to learn how to see God everywhere. This, of course, will require some assiduous training and discipline, but we have our whole life to achieve it, and to be sure, whatever effort and sacrifice would be involved would be all worthwhile. 

 We need to see God everywhere because that is the ideal condition for us to be in. We are all creatures of God. God as our creator will always be in his creatures because not only is he the giver of our existence but also the maintainer of it. He can never be absent from his creatures, otherwise the latter would simply disappear to nothing. 

 Thus, we can say that God is actually everywhere. He is around us and also inside us, at our very core. Remember what Psalm 138 says: “Where can I go to escape Your Spirit? Where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend to the heavens, You are there, if I make my bed in Sheol, You are there…” (7-8) 

 And St. Augustine: “You were within me and I was in the external world and sought you there. And in my unlovely state I plunged into those lovely created things which you made. You were with me, and I was not with you. The lovely things kept me far from you…” 

 In our case, since as creatures we have been endowed with the capacity to know and to love due to our God-given gifts of intelligence and will, we, unlike the other creatures that are not so gifted, are meant to see, know and love him. For this, he also gives us his grace through the gifts of faith, hope and charity and many other gifts that would help us penetrate and enter into the supernatural reality of God. 

 We need to see God in everything because otherwise, the only possible thing to happen is to sin, to go against him, against even our own nature, against others. Remember the first sin and the temptation that led to it. 

 The devil suggested to Eve to look at the forbidden fruit which, as a creation of God, was also good in itself. When she looked at it, she “saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom,” (Gen 3,6) but failed to relate it to God. And so, the fall took place.  

We have to find ways to be able to see God in everything—from the usual little and ordinary things that we see and handle everyday to the big things that we get involved in. We have to see to it that we are not just swallowed up by the sensible and intelligible qualities of these items that can give us all sorts of worldly and temporal benefits. 

 We need to relate them to God in such a way that ideally, the first thing that we should perceive while seeing and handling them is God himself. As said earlier, this will require tremendous training and discipline, since by our nature that, sad to say, is already affected by the consequences of sin, we tend to perceive only the sensible and intelligible qualities of these things without going any further, without referring them to God. 

 And so we set ourselves up for the fall, in the way of the classic example of the first sin of our first parents!

The need for regular retreats

FROM time to time, we should withdraw from our usual activities and concerns, and go into what is called a spiritual retreat where we try to get a closer if also global picture of the current state of our life. 

We need to see if things are going well, if we are still in the right direction, if we still have a clear vision of the over-all purpose of our life. We can’t deny that there are new developments in the world that give us new challenges, trials and other possibilities, and we just have to be ready to handle them properly. 

 We also need to see how things can be improved or even radically changed, since definitely there will always be things in our life at any given moment that need to be given such attention. In the end, we have to realize that a retreat is a great occasion to have another conversion. We have to see that. We have to feel urged by that. If we don’t feel that way, then let’s pray that we be given the relevant grace from God. 

 We have to understand that the growth and development of our spiritual life, of our relationship with God and with others which can only take place if we learn to love them more and more, will always be an ongoing affair in our whole life. It will always be a work in progress. We can never say that we have reached the point where there is no more room for improvement. 

 In the retreat, we should have a good review of the life of Christ, our redeemer, since he is our “way, the truth and the life.” We should have a review of the whole economy of salvation that God has laid out for us. It’s like journeying with God, with Christ in the Holy Spirit, because it’s only then that we can see and know what we ought to see and know. 

 And more than that, it’s only then that we can learn how to truly love, which is the be-all and end-all of our life, since it is the very essence of God in whose image and likeness we have been created. 

 The retreat is the time for us to see what virtues we still need to develop, or how we can make them grow and mature. It’s a time to make some kind of general examination of conscience and accounting, doing some kind of overhaul, checking on the different aspects of our life, and of making some global planning and strategizing. 

 The retreat is actually an exercise of looking back and looking forward. We also need to identify the new challenges we have to tackle. As said earlier, the world is into some rapid pace of development. We cannot afford to be unmindful of the things we still have to learn or to readjust, etc. 

 It’s important that we have the proper dispositions when undertaking a retreat. Our faith and piety have to be reignited or turned to full blast. It would be a pity if we go through it with a tepid spirit. 

 What is also most helpful is to practice a deep spirit of recollection, maintaining the appropriate silence so we can see, hear and discern what the Holy Spirit is prompting us. It’s in a retreat when we are supposed to be most intimate with the Holy Spirit.

Why do we need to be baptized?

IF as a human person we already are created in God’s image and likeness, why do we need to be baptized? Isn’t it a redundancy to be baptized since we cannot help but be God’s image and likeness as early as upon our conception in our mother’s womb? Doesn’t the fact that we have intelligence and will, even if still in the stage of potency at the start of our existence, prove that we are already God’s image and likeness? Why do we still need to be baptized? 

 The answer to these questions may require some thorough explanation. And we can begin by affirming that indeed we have been created in God’s image and likeness. That was what happened when God decided to create man through the creation of our first parents, Adam and Eve. They came to being in the perfect condition of what is known as the state of original justice, where no sin entered into the scene yet. They were created holy. 

 But we know what happened in Paradise, the place where our first parents were first placed to be tested if what God wants them to be is also what they would want to be. They flunked the test, and thus became alienated from God. They lost that original holiness and everything that went with it—immortality, integrity, impassibility, etc. The original image and likeness of God was damaged and needed to be recreated. 

 Though having flunked the test and deserving some punishment, they were not completely abandoned by God our creator. Instead, a very complex plan or economy of salvation was launched by God, so to speak, to rescue mankind. This took place when the Son of God became man, started to preach and do many good things, and finally paid for our sins through his passion, death and resurrection. 

 This time, our continuing creation and testing would need that we be conformed to the God-made-man, the pattern of our humanity and the redeemer of our damaged humanity, Jesus Christ. And this conformity of ours to Christ starts to take place at the sacrament of baptism which was instituted by Christ himself through his own baptism in the River Jordan. 

 With baptism, we have Christ as the pattern of our salvation, the way, the truth and the life, embedded, so to speak, in our life. That is why we need to be baptized. It is to recover our original dignity as true children of God, his image and likeness, meant to participate in the very life of God. 

 With Christ, we can receive the supernatural grace that would enable us to attain our ideal state. It would not be enough for us to know God with our intelligence and to love him with our will, without God’s grace through Christ. 

 We need to clarify and emphasize the importance and necessity of baptism since there is now a trend to downplay this sacrament in our life. But even before that problem came to be, the usual issue is that many people do not realize the implications of the sacrament—that we need to duly correspond to the abiding redemptive action of Christ all throughout our life. 

 We have to be aware that once baptized we commit ourselves to vitally identify ourselves with Christ, which is going to be a lifelong process!

Our charity should be faith-driven

THAT’S how our charity should be. It should not just be a consequence of purely human empathy, sympathy and compassion, although these help a lot in living charity. It should not just be a matter of human altruism and philanthropy. These are already good signs of charity, but they are not enough. 

 Such kind of charity cannot go the distance, cannot cope with all the tests and challenges of real charity. It cannot be universal and abiding. It would highly be selective and even discriminatory in its bestowal. It can only work during fair weather or when conditions are found to be conducive. When unfavorable conditions come, it would flee and disappear, and can even turn into anger and hatred. 

 A faith-driven charity is the charity that is based on God’s love for us. It’s a universal and abiding kind of love, and can go all the way to loving the enemies, to be willing to sacrifice for the others, including offering one’s life for the others, as exemplified by Christ himself and imitated by the martyrs. 

 It is a charity that is never discriminatory, although it can be very discriminating in showing it, giving out one’s best in any given situation. It’s a total self-giving, freely given without counting the cost nor expecting any reward and completely rid of ulterior motives. It’s never a calculating kind of self-giving. With this charity, though only a humanly insignificant gesture is done, still it is done with one’s whole heart. 

 We have to examine ourselves to see if we are approaching this fully human and Christian ideal of charity. We cannot deny that this kind of charity can only be a result of a vital identification with Christ. It can only be a result of our faith in God, in our full correspondence to God’s grace. As such, it is going to be a lifelong pursuit and struggle for us to live it. 

 When our charity is inspired and driven by our Christian faith, we would not mind if in living it we do not understand many things, if we would find ourselves inconvenienced and having to go through a lot of sacrifices and self-denials. We would just do it because Christ said so, commanding us to love one another as he himself has loved us. 

 If we do not have faith, there is no way we can live such kind of charity that is commanded of us by Christ. We would consider it as stupidity. We cannot understand the real meaning of generosity, magnanimity, mercy and compassion. We cannot understand the paradoxical teachings of Christ—that we need to die to live, to lose to win, to give to receive, etc. 

 How can we, for example, understand why we have to love our enemies, why we have to offer the other cheek when we are slapped on one cheek, why we have to walk two miles if we are challenged to walk one mile? In human terms, these would just be crazy ideas. 

 Let’s try our best that our charity is always animated by our Christian faith. Let’s follow the example of all the saints, foremost of whom would be Our Lady who, even if she did not fully understand how can the Son of God can be conceived in her womb by the overshadowing of the Holy Spirit, just said, “Be it done to me!”

When weakness becomes a source of strength

THAT Pauline statement, “For when I am weak, then I am strong,” (2 Cor 12,10) should make us feel reassured and consoled every time we are hounded and burdened by all sorts of difficulties and troubles, including when we are tempted and fall into sin. 

 We have to know what exactly St. Paul meant by those words. What we can readily see is that he made all these predicaments a reason for him to go to Christ, to identify himself more closely with Christ who went all the way to making himself like sin without committing sin just to save us. (cfr. 2 Cor 5,21) 

 We have to learn how to react to all these negative and evil elements in our life from the point of view of our Christian faith, and never just from our own estimation of things that would often lead us to be scandalized, to feel bad and discouraged, and to run away from the one who can resolve everything for us, including those we cannot anymore resolve. 

 Our faith in God can still work and function even if we are down spiritually and morally, because it is, first of all, a gift from God who will always give it to us irrespective of how we have been behaving. We should just try our best to receive it and to correspond to it as best that we can. 

 With that faith, we know that God is always merciful. “For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him,” we are told. (Jn 3,17) And Christ himself said, “I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners, to repentance.” (Lk 5,32) And there still many other passages and parables that reiterate that ever-available mercy of God for all of us. 

 We have to learn how to react properly when we are bothered by our weaknesses, temptations, when we fall into sin and are hounded by all kinds of difficulties, trials and challenges. We have to consider these predicaments as golden opportunities to get closer to Christ, to identify ourselves more intimately with him. 

 So, instead of running away from God because of these predicaments, we should rather run fast toward him, asking for light and help, for forgiveness if we already have fallen into sin. It’s only then that these predicaments can become sources of strength. 

 We have to be wary of our tendency to run away from God due to shame or fear, for that can only mean that we are being tricked by the devil or are simply being guided by our own very limited and error-prone estimation of things rather than by our Christian faith. 

 If we react with faith, then we can still have hope and practice charity despite the worst predicament that we can fall into in this life. If we react with faith, we can fulfill what St. Paul recommended when we have to deal with all sorts of evil in the world. And that is that we can put on the whole armor of God. That way we put ourselves in the best condition of “being strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.” (Eph 6,10) 

There is a certain invincibility that we can enjoy even in the midst of all the cuts and wounds that are unavoidable in our earthly struggles.

Promoting chastity

THIS should be an ongoing concern for all of us. We should do whatever we can to promote it, fighting it out to live it properly ourselves and helping others to do the same. While it is not the most important virtue, chastity nevertheless plays a very crucial role in developing a truly human, let alone, Christian life. 

Chastity is a product of love and a producer of love which, in the end, is the very essence and purpose of our life. It’s a love that comes from God and is a living participation of God’s love. What chastity does is to incarnate that divine love in our bodily dimension, and in particular, our human sexuality. 

 Let’s remember that our body, together with our spiritual soul, is an essential constituent of our humanity. Both body and soul are meant to be in perfect unity, such that the body is properly spiritualized, and our spiritual soul is also duly materialized. That’s because we are neither purely material bodies nor purely spiritual souls. 

 But what do we have at the moment? The obvious answer is that the body is left to pursue its own dynamics, practically unguided by our spiritual soul that should also be anchored on the spirit of God, the ultimate source of our life and the ultimate lawgiver of our human nature. 

 Chastity has become a rare species that is fast facing extinction if nothing drastic is done about it. Nowadays, for example, you can hardly find anyone who is seriously trying to live chastity. Gone are the days when you can meet young, unmarried people who at least are trying to live chastity in perfect continence. 

 The typical youngster in the street is most likely blighted with all forms of unchastity, and they don’t seem to mind it anymore. Sexual anomalies and perversions seem to be the new normal nowadays. It can even be said that things are being reversed. Those who try to live chastity are considered as abnormal. 

 The hot-button issue of gender, for example, is basically a crisis in chastity. The same with the issue of abortion which is not so much a socio-economic-political or ideological issue as it is a moral issue involving chastity. 

 And by the way, the number 1 killer in the world in the year just ended is not COVID nor cancer, but abortion. Recent studies indicate that 42.7 million abortions were performed last year, while 8.2 million people died from cancer, 5 million from smoking and 1.7 million from HIV/AIDS. COVID only accounted for 1.8 deaths. 

 We really need to actively promote this virtue of chastity that puts us in the proper footing to develop our humanity, let alone, our Christianity. Chastity, while involving a lot of vigilance and self-discipline given our wounded condition, actually gives us true joy and peace. 

 It helps greatly in making us see things more objectively, fairly and globally. It helps us to live the indispensable theological virtues of faith, hope and charity. It greatly contributes to our work ethic since it is a good antidote to laziness, idleness and complacency. It helps us to relate with everyone properly despite our unavoidable differences and conflicts. 

 Without chastity we would be easy prey to our human weaknesses, the wayward allurements of the world, and the wiles of the devil. Let us spread the Good News about this virtue.

How our morning ritual should be

IF we really know what the purpose of our life is and are dead serious to achieve it, then we should see to it that right at the beginning of the day, we put ourselves in the proper frame of mind, and with the appropriate attitude, plans and strategies to support our quest for the day. 

 We have to be wary of the many factors and elements that tend to undermine this ideal which is actually a duty for all of us. We know that we have to contend with our weaknesses, like laziness, disorder, distractions, superficiality, our exaggerated love for comfort and convenience. 

 This is not to mention that we have to contend with many temptations that come not only from our own selves, but also from the world itself and from the devil and other evil spirits that actively conspire to ruin our spiritual life. 

 That is why we need to first of all recover our senses as fully and as quickly as possible when we wake up, and then spend a few moments of reflection and planning in order to put ourselves in our proper spiritual and supernatural bearing. 

 Of course, we have to do all this with naturalness, although we cannot deny that we need to exert effort and self-discipline to achieve this ideal condition. But as long as we persist in doing this, time will come that combining naturalness with effort and self-discipline will become automatic, as in, it becomes second nature to us. 

 This practice, I believe, important and indispensable as it is, should be widely popularized until it becomes an integral part of everyone’s life and of the people’s culture in general. Thus, we need models, endorsers and trainers who can actively and effectively promote this basic practice. Let’s hope that we can get many people for this purpose. 

 Truth is we are confronted with the daunting challenge of a world that is getting increasingly secularized. Even those who profess themselves to be Christian believers find it hard to keep the bearing proper of their condition as believers. 

 For one, we cannot deny that the world is now saturated with a lot of information, data and other materials that, while serving some valid purpose, can also easily become distractions and occasions for all kinds of temptations. 

 Many people are swallowed up merely by the dynamic of worldly values. They fail to relate them to God and to the ultimate goal of our life. As Christ said, they may be gaining the world, but are losing their soul. (cfr. Mk 8,36) 

 It’s important that people in general know right at the beginning of the day what the real purpose of our life is, and are properly motivated and equipped to fulfill that purpose. They should know how to relate everything in their life—their work, personal circumstances, conditions and situations, whether good or bad in human terms, etc.—to this ultimate purpose of our life. 

 We have to graduate from the level of simply giving some lip service to this most important ideal of our life to making it a living reality, albeit done in a quiet way, devoid of ostentation and the thinking that we are doing something extraordinary. 

 The morning ritual that we ought to develop would obviously play a crucial role in developing such understanding of our life and the corresponding attitude, plans and strategies it would involve.

Life’s paradoxes

WE have to be ready for the many paradoxes in life. Christ already warned us about this unavoidable condition in our life here on earth. And the secret is already shared with us. 

 And that is none other than to be with Christ, to be like Christ. In fact, we are supposed to be “another Christ,” if not “Christ himself,” to be able to deal with this very confusing condition of our life. 

 We are told to lose in order to win, to die in order to live, to give in order to receive, to be empty so we can be filled. We are told to be detached from persons and things of this world to be attached only to who would truly matter to us, and that is God. Christ even made use of the word, “hate,” so we can follow him, so we can be his disciples. Still more, he told us to be as simple as doves yet as astute as serpents. 

 To be sure, if we would only use our own faculties or our own understanding of things, there is no way but really to be at a loss as to what to make out of all these contrasting qualities. 

 But precisely, we have to know the true character of a paradox to realize that these contrasting qualities are meant to highlight a higher truth. That’s what a paradox does. It takes cognizance of the many different and competing values of our many different and competing parts and aspects of our life to attain a certain unity of life and gain our one ultimate goal. 

 Thus, we should not be surprised that we have to deal with these paradoxes. We should just learn how to do it properly. And again, the secret is already given to us. It is to be with Christ, to be like him, to be “another Christ,” if not “Christ himself.” 

 And that ideal is possible because Christ himself has made himself totally available to us. He has left us not only with his doctrine, his teaching and example. He has given us his very own self in the sacrament of the Holy Eucharist which we should try to receive as eagerly and as worthily as possible, knowing fully well what are involved when we receive him sacramentally. 

 With him, what is impossible to us is made possible. All we have to do is to try our best to follow him, to make his teaching and example our very own life. That prospect may appear to be incredible. And it surely is. But what is needed here is simply to activate our faith. We are supposed to believe more than to understand things even as we try our best to understand also. 

 It’s our faith, supported by hope and charity, which would enable us to do what we think is impossible for us to do. Remember that Christ many times faulted even those who were close to him, the apostles, as having of little faith. We should just try to make it our constant prayer to him, “Lord, I believe but help my unbelief.” (Mk 9,24) Or, to echo the apostle’s plea, “Lord, increase our faith.” (Lk 17,5) 

 Only then can we manage to see the beautiful truth of the contrasting qualities or conditions involved in our life’s paradoxes!

Gifted to give

THAT’S the theme of the celebration of the 5th Centenary of Christianity in our country. It’s taken from the gospel of St. Matthew, chapter 10 verse 8 where we hear Christ telling his apostles: “Freely you have received. Freely give.” It’s actually Christ’s order for his apostles to do all, to give all they have got in their work and mission of apostolate. 

 We have to be reminded that Christ’s work of human redemption continues till the end of time, and this time he involves us even if does not need help. That’s because being God’s image and likeness in Christ, the mission of Christ is also ours. Just as Christ went all the way to identify himself with us in all our possible situations without committing sin, we are also meant to share what Christ has and does. 

 In this celebration of the Solemnity of the Epiphany of our Lord, we are somehow reminded of this directive of Christ. The Epiphany tells us that we have received the greatest gift of all, Christ himself, the Son of God who becomes man to save us and who has given us everything we need for the salvation of mankind. 

 His intention is to save all men, though he respects everyone’s decision to be saved or not. But insofar as he is concerned, he wants all men to be saved. Thus, in the Epiphany, the main message that is highlighted is that the newborn Savior is not only for the Jews who were the chosen people in God’s economy of salvation that has to go through stages, but for all people. 

 The 3 magi represent the people outside the chosen people. That fact should make us realize that we need to develop a universal outlook in our Christ-given mission to do apostolate. To his apostles, and to us, he said: “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations…teaching them to obey everything that I have commanded you.” (Mt 28,19-20) 

 As long as we identify ourselves closely with Christ, we can have the strength needed to adapt ourselves to everyone and to love them no matter how different or even hostile they are to us. Like Christ we would be willing to suffer, which is a clear manifestation of the strength of divine love. 

 Remember St. Paul saying, “We then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please ourselves.” (Rom 15,1) The strong can bear the weak, not vice-versa. And the categories of strength and weakness need not only in the area of the physical, intellectual, social, financial, etc., but more so in the spiritual and moral. 

 I had a funny verification of this truth recently when one day I saw a hen with its newly-hatched chicks enter the garden where I was holding a seminar. At first, I was pleasantly amused and started to feed them. But when they entered the house and made some droppings there while salvaging some crumbs on the floor, that’s when I started to drive them away. 

 Initially, I was gentle in driving them away, but since they would not follow, I started to use force. But the hen resisted and even tried to attack me, since in my effort to shoo her away, she was trying to gather her scattered chicks. Anyway, in the end, I gave up and just let them have their way. In time they would go out, and they did. 

 The lesson I got was that I can understand her ways, but the hen could not understand mine. So, I should just suffer her. The strong can bear the weak, but the weak cannot bear the strong.