How to persevere in love

THIS is the common challenge we all face. We are good only

at the beginning of love but we often cannot go very far. Yes, we

savor and relish the sweet and intoxicating feelings when we fall in

love. But to persevere in it? We often find ourselves failing, or at

best, doddering in an erratic fashion, like an old man even if we are

still young.

            How do we keep ourselves in love till forever? How do we

keep the flame of love ever burning despite the cold and the dust that

can come our way? I believe the answer is in our understanding of the

very nature of love.

            For many of us, we understand love more as a matter of

feelings or of material, bodily or carnal attraction. Of course, it is

true that in love, everything that we have and we are, are involved.

The emotions and the passions play an important role. Except that in

true love, we have to give the primary role to our spiritual faculties

of the intelligence and the will.

            It’s these faculties or powers that would enable us to

enter into the spiritual and supernatural dimension of love. And it’s

in these dimensions where we can find the true source, pattern, energy

and purpose of love, who in the end is God. It’s in these dimensions

that can make our love persevere and constantly burning despite the

ups and downs of our life, or the dizzying drama of our earthly

sojourn.

            The love that is a participation in the love of God can

take on anything. The good things would not spoil us, making us proud,

conceited, vain, complacent, etc. And the bad things would neither put

us down.

            This true love will always stay on course, just like what

couples on their wedding promise to love and honor each other “for

better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health,

until death do us part.”

            We have to make sure then that the spiritual and

supernatural dimensions of our love are always nourished. Failing in

this can only mean that we are simply indulging on a fake kind of

love.

            This means that in spite of the busy schedule we may have,

we just have to find time praying, reflecting and meditating on God’s

love for us and on how we can reflect that love in our daily affairs.

            Because of the spiritual and supernatural character of the

love proper to us, we need to avail of the sacraments, especially the

Holy Eucharist, where Christ himself offers his own self and the whole

range of his redemptive mission to us.

            We have to understand that we have to love God and others

the way Christ himself loves us. Remember that new commandment he gave

us: “Love one another as I have loved you.” (Jn 13,34)

            We have to see to it that all throughout the day, we can

truly say that we are loving others the way Christ is loving us,

following his example and empowered by his own grace.

            For this, we need to avail of certain practices that will

sustain not only the presence of Christ in our mind, but also his

active and constant interventions in our life. Yes, in the end, we

truly have to learn to be contemplatives even while we are immersed in

the things of the world.

            There has to be a plan of spiritual practices of piety

that is adapted to our particular condition and circumstances. We may

have to seek advice from those who have been practicing these acts of

piety and who are truly giving us good example of how love is that is

based on one’s sharing in God’s love.

            This definitely will also require the proper formation and

training, since this lifestyle would not just come to us

automatically. In fact, it will require a lot of effort and

discipline!