Always look kindly at others

THOUGH we may see the defects and mistakes of the others,

we have to learn to look kindly at them all the time. We have to

realize that seeing and looking are two different acts. Seeing is just

in the level of our sense perception, while looking is already in the

level of judgment. The former does not yet enter into the realm of

morality while the latter does.

            Of course, we can have some automatic, reflex reactions to

what we see. And these reactions are obviously raw and unprocessed,

subject only to the material and earthly criteria. But those reactions

have to be submitted and purified by the higher criteria of our reason

and ultimately by our faith that teaches us that we have to deal with

everyone always in charity.

            “Love one another as I have loved you,” Christ told us.

(Jn 15,12) And we know that Christ’s love is not simply of the “eros”

type, nor that of the “filia,” but rather that of the “agape” which

makes him love everyone in a completely selfless way, even if his love

is unreciprocated.

            It’s a love that takes the initiative to give oneself. It

does not wait. And it goes all the way to assuming all the burdens of

the others, including those of the enemies without counting the cost.

This kind of love has to animate the way we look at others.

            The more defects and mistakes we see in the others, the

more kindness and charity we give them. And this starts in the way we

look at them. The more unlovable they are, the more should our love

for them be, reprising what St. John of the Cross once said: “Where

there is no love, put love, and you will draw out love.”

            Another saint once advised that we have to drown evil with

an abundance of good. That is the attitude we ought to have. We have

to be most careful of our tendency to be drawn to evil because of the

evil we see in others. This can happen when instead of understanding,

helping and loving them, we fall into critical, uncharitable thoughts,

rash judgments and the like.

            While it’s true that evil begets evil, it is also true

that we need to stop evil by responding to it with goodness, kindness

and love. Of course, in doing this, sacrifice would be unavoidable.

But the involvement of sacrifice would be a clear sign of our

goodness, kindness and love—when we are willing to make sacrifices for

the others even if these sacrifices are unreciprocated.

            We have to train ourselves in the art of always looking

kindly at the others. Humility, of course, would be needed here. But

we have to understand humility as some kind of self-emptying if only

to fill ourselves with what is best for us—the spirit of God.

            When we manage to look at others kindly, we would not be

distracted by the drama of life in order to be focused only on what is

truly necessary to us—to love everyone the way Christ loves us. And in

spite of the conditions around and the changing circumstances of our

life, we can manage to have peace and joy all the time.

            When we manage to look at others kindly, we can do what we

are supposed to do. We can have more objectivity in our perceptions of

others. We would know how to transcend from our own biases, prejudices

and preferences. When we commit mistakes or we misjudge, it would be

very easy for us to rectify ourselves, ready to ask for pardon, if

need be.

            To be sure, being able to always look at others kindly

will make for a much better world, despite the unavoidable defects,

mistakes and offenses people can commit. Let us just be ready to make

sacrifices, the way Christ did