THE essential part of our being
social creatures is that
we have to love each other, care for each other, feel responsible for
one another. Failing in this could only mean we are failing in our
humanity.
That’s why we have to keep a constant vigilance of love on
the others. It’s not spying on them and to plunge into rash judgments
and fault-finding. It’s simply exercising what is proper to all of us.
We therefore have to be wary of the many things that tend to undermine
this wonderful responsibility.
First, we need to outgrow the natural stage of childhood
of our human development that understandably tends to make us
self-centered. Babies, toddlers and little children always need
attention, but as they grow, they need to be more thoughtful of the
others.
They have to be taught how to assume more and more
responsibilities as they grow, giving them some job assignments
appropriate to their condition. The other day, I was impressed to see
a family of three in the airport. The toddler, who must have been not
more than 3 years old, carried an empty big paper bag, imitating his
parents who were carrying all the luggage. I thought that was a good
way of teaching a tot some sense of responsibility.
Unfortunately we can still see many people who are stuck
in the childhood stage. At 40 or 50, they still think and behave like
little children who always want attention from others and who shy away
from responsibilities. They want to be served, rather than to serve,
contrary to what Christ himself said.
Of course, when we are with such persons, we have to care
for them, showing them the appropriate attention and affection, but
never giving up in teaching them to grow toward human and Christian
maturity.
But the more challenging part is how to contend with the
strong wave today in our culture that would pressure us to be
self-centered, self-absorbed and self-seeking. We have to learn how to
handle the allure of the new technologies, the tension involved when
facing problems, crises, issues, or otherwise, intoxicating successes
in life.
We have to learn how to have a certain detachment from
these gadgets and issues if only not to lose sight of the more
important duty to think of the others. It’s not a matter of rejecting
the amazing gadgets and ignoring the issues of the day. It is more of
subordinating them to our duty to be most mindful and thoughtful of
the others.
It’s actually when we care for the others when we achieve
the progress and development proper to our own life. It’s not in
pursuing our own interests, with the others serving only as props to
our self-seeking pursuits. It’s rather when we care for the others
that we become Christ-like and attain our human maturity.
Caring for the others goes all the way to being
compassionate with them. That is to say, we have to learn to enter
into other people’s lives, into their mind and heart, to such an
extent that we experience, feel, enjoy and suffer what they themselves
experience, feel, enjoy and suffer.
In this regard, we can make a fine distinction between
simply being merciful and being truly compassionate. A merciful person
may not be compassionate. He may even be hateful, as when he forgives
someone simply because he wants to do away with that disturbing or
irritating person.
A truly merciful person is first of all a compassionate
person. Genuine mercy can only sprout from the soil of compassion.
Without the latter, the former can only be at best apparent, false,
deceptive and dangerous. The former can only be harmful.
In our examinations of conscience, we need to ask whether
we are progressing in the virtue of compassion. Do we have a growing
interest to know others more and more? Are we acquiring the skills to
be more adaptable to their conditions and more available to their
needs?
For all these, it is important that we have a clear idea
of what is objectively good for everyone. Thus, we can only be
vigilant out of love, mercy and compassion when we are vitally united
in Christ.
This condition is, of course, always a work in progress.
But as long as it is nourished without let-up, we can be sure that we
will be doing things together with Christ even if there is always the
possibility that we ourselves commit mistakes, since we can always
misread God’s will in spite of our best efforts.
The vigilance of love for others depends on our vigilance
of love for God.
we have to love each other, care for each other, feel responsible for
one another. Failing in this could only mean we are failing in our
humanity.
That’s why we have to keep a constant vigilance of love on
the others. It’s not spying on them and to plunge into rash judgments
and fault-finding. It’s simply exercising what is proper to all of us.
We therefore have to be wary of the many things that tend to undermine
this wonderful responsibility.
First, we need to outgrow the natural stage of childhood
of our human development that understandably tends to make us
self-centered. Babies, toddlers and little children always need
attention, but as they grow, they need to be more thoughtful of the
others.
They have to be taught how to assume more and more
responsibilities as they grow, giving them some job assignments
appropriate to their condition. The other day, I was impressed to see
a family of three in the airport. The toddler, who must have been not
more than 3 years old, carried an empty big paper bag, imitating his
parents who were carrying all the luggage. I thought that was a good
way of teaching a tot some sense of responsibility.
Unfortunately we can still see many people who are stuck
in the childhood stage. At 40 or 50, they still think and behave like
little children who always want attention from others and who shy away
from responsibilities. They want to be served, rather than to serve,
contrary to what Christ himself said.
Of course, when we are with such persons, we have to care
for them, showing them the appropriate attention and affection, but
never giving up in teaching them to grow toward human and Christian
maturity.
But the more challenging part is how to contend with the
strong wave today in our culture that would pressure us to be
self-centered, self-absorbed and self-seeking. We have to learn how to
handle the allure of the new technologies, the tension involved when
facing problems, crises, issues, or otherwise, intoxicating successes
in life.
We have to learn how to have a certain detachment from
these gadgets and issues if only not to lose sight of the more
important duty to think of the others. It’s not a matter of rejecting
the amazing gadgets and ignoring the issues of the day. It is more of
subordinating them to our duty to be most mindful and thoughtful of
the others.
It’s actually when we care for the others when we achieve
the progress and development proper to our own life. It’s not in
pursuing our own interests, with the others serving only as props to
our self-seeking pursuits. It’s rather when we care for the others
that we become Christ-like and attain our human maturity.
Caring for the others goes all the way to being
compassionate with them. That is to say, we have to learn to enter
into other people’s lives, into their mind and heart, to such an
extent that we experience, feel, enjoy and suffer what they themselves
experience, feel, enjoy and suffer.
In this regard, we can make a fine distinction between
simply being merciful and being truly compassionate. A merciful person
may not be compassionate. He may even be hateful, as when he forgives
someone simply because he wants to do away with that disturbing or
irritating person.
A truly merciful person is first of all a compassionate
person. Genuine mercy can only sprout from the soil of compassion.
Without the latter, the former can only be at best apparent, false,
deceptive and dangerous. The former can only be harmful.
In our examinations of conscience, we need to ask whether
we are progressing in the virtue of compassion. Do we have a growing
interest to know others more and more? Are we acquiring the skills to
be more adaptable to their conditions and more available to their
needs?
For all these, it is important that we have a clear idea
of what is objectively good for everyone. Thus, we can only be
vigilant out of love, mercy and compassion when we are vitally united
in Christ.
This condition is, of course, always a work in progress.
But as long as it is nourished without let-up, we can be sure that we
will be doing things together with Christ even if there is always the
possibility that we ourselves commit mistakes, since we can always
misread God’s will in spite of our best efforts.
The vigilance of love for others depends on our vigilance
of love for God.
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