WE need to distinguish between
Christian perfection and
the tyrannical perfectionism that unfortunately is emerging in some
sectors of our society. The former will always include mercy and
compassion, and would know how to handle wrong ideas and erring people
in charity. The latter is full of self-righteousness, and could not
bear people and things that are in the other side of the fence.
Christian perfection, as exemplified by Christ, can prefer
to suffer and even to die a martyr rather than go against the
requirements of love. Its caricature, the tyrannical perfectionism,
prefers to survive in this life as long as he is always right. He
prefers correctness over mercy and compassion.
The disorder of perfectionism usually afflicts some
so-called “good” and “pious” people, those who are regarded as
rightists and conservatives. They are usually seen as being very
strict and fastidious, but the truth is they often have a scrupulous
conscience that leads them to be narrow-minded and rigid in their
ways.
They are prone to make rash judgments and end up bitter
and irritable. It would be no wonder that they feel isolated like an
island detached from the continent, and any show of sociability is
simply just that, a show, an act, a performance, devoid of the proper
substance and spirit.
This tyrannical perfectionism comes about as a consequence
of a badly understood Christian perfection. That there already may be
some predisposing elements toward it should not be a surprise, because
we can presume everyone has them one way or another. It can even be a
character trait. The problem is when these elements go uncorrected,
and worse, are treated as normal or as the ideal.
Perfectionism can profess ardent if not fanatical belief
in Christ, but a Christ without the cross. It simply focuses on what
it considers as the exclusivity of truth without the inclusivity of
charity. It prefers ideas and values over persons in their concrete
conditions with all their charms as well as their warts.
It has a controlling instinct. Everything has to follow a
certain game plan, otherwise things are not considered right. It has
low level of tolerance when plans are changed or unforeseen events
happen.
It can present itself as an obsessive-compulsive disorder.
People who have it usually experience a craving and an anxiety for
what they have to do. They can be very orderly and squeaky clean, with
a great desire to fulfill duties. They can be seen as extremely
responsible
the tyrannical perfectionism that unfortunately is emerging in some
sectors of our society. The former will always include mercy and
compassion, and would know how to handle wrong ideas and erring people
in charity. The latter is full of self-righteousness, and could not
bear people and things that are in the other side of the fence.
Christian perfection, as exemplified by Christ, can prefer
to suffer and even to die a martyr rather than go against the
requirements of love. Its caricature, the tyrannical perfectionism,
prefers to survive in this life as long as he is always right. He
prefers correctness over mercy and compassion.
The disorder of perfectionism usually afflicts some
so-called “good” and “pious” people, those who are regarded as
rightists and conservatives. They are usually seen as being very
strict and fastidious, but the truth is they often have a scrupulous
conscience that leads them to be narrow-minded and rigid in their
ways.
They are prone to make rash judgments and end up bitter
and irritable. It would be no wonder that they feel isolated like an
island detached from the continent, and any show of sociability is
simply just that, a show, an act, a performance, devoid of the proper
substance and spirit.
This tyrannical perfectionism comes about as a consequence
of a badly understood Christian perfection. That there already may be
some predisposing elements toward it should not be a surprise, because
we can presume everyone has them one way or another. It can even be a
character trait. The problem is when these elements go uncorrected,
and worse, are treated as normal or as the ideal.
Perfectionism can profess ardent if not fanatical belief
in Christ, but a Christ without the cross. It simply focuses on what
it considers as the exclusivity of truth without the inclusivity of
charity. It prefers ideas and values over persons in their concrete
conditions with all their charms as well as their warts.
It has a controlling instinct. Everything has to follow a
certain game plan, otherwise things are not considered right. It has
low level of tolerance when plans are changed or unforeseen events
happen.
It can present itself as an obsessive-compulsive disorder.
People who have it usually experience a craving and an anxiety for
what they have to do. They can be very orderly and squeaky clean, with
a great desire to fulfill duties. They can be seen as extremely
responsible
They are always worried about the future, and have little
tolerance for pending matters. They rely heavily on the opinion of
others. They can show various forms of assertiveness, including the
subtle ones, and can easily fall into insecurities and activism. They
have a morbid fear for failures and mistakes.
As in all character traits, perfectionism can show
positive aspects which can be taken advantage of but which have to be
purified. People with it have a strong will to do things with a high
sense of responsibility and order.
We just have to correct the negative aspects: an abnormal
sense of duty, reduced capability of reflecting, giving only an
external obedience, indecision and rigidity. These have to be
softened.
We have to be patient and competent in dealing with people
with this disorder. They have to be taught to look more closely at
Christ, who came to serve and not to be served and was willing to
offer his life on the cross, and to avoid making worldly values like
order or punctuality or success as an end in themselves.
They have to be reminded that these values only have a
relative standing, and that the one absolute value is God alone who
adapted himself to our wounded condition to save us.
They have to realize that everyone and everything here on
earth has imperfections, and that we just have to learn how to be
sport in life, taking both the good things and bad, the successes and
defeats in stride.
They have to learn how to see things from the perspective
of eternity where God’s providence knows how to take advantage of our
sins and mistakes. They simply have to learn how to begin and begin
again in life without getting stuck at any point, whether good or bad.
The important thing is not in the success of things, but
rather in the love for God and for others which by definition will
include mercy and compassion. They have to learn to listen deeply and
to find an excuse for the shortcomings of others.
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