Lay all our cards on the table

IT is indeed necessary that we be brutally sincere when we

go to confession and to spiritual direction. We have to learn to lay

all our cards on the table so that the human instruments used by God

to help us in our spiritual life, can truly help us.

  

            We should not be afraid or ashamed to do so, because in

these occasions, it is indeed God who is acting through the human

instrumentalities. We have to approach confession and spiritual

direction with a strong supernatural outlook, because it is only then

that we can go beyond our human respect.

  

            As our dictionary would put it, human respect is “a kind

of fear of the judgment of others...one acting from this motive lacks

courage or fortitude...it seeks honor rather than the works worthy of

honor.”

  

            There is really no reason to fall into human respect when

we go to confession and spiritual direction. God is a father who will

always understand and love us. He is always ready to forgive us of

whatever sin and failures we may commit. He is always there for us, to

defend and protect us. His judgments will always be with mercy.

  

            To be truly sincere is not only to say facts and data. It

is to probe into the motives of all our actions, especially our sins

and misdeeds. In the end, it is to see what the spirit is behind all

our actions. Is it the spirit of God or is it another spirit?

  

            To develop this virtue, we need time to get close to God

in our prayer and in all the other ways that foster unity with him all

throughout the day, especially when we are immersed in our daily

concerns. Let’s remember that God is the source of all truth. We can

only see the truth through him.

  

            Without God, we can only make some estimation that often

misleads us. What is worse is that we can get fully convinced that we

are truthful when in fact we are not. Our pursuit for truth is often

marred by some forms of self-interest, and these forms can be very

subtle and deceptive.

  

            What can help in developing sincerity when we go to

confession and spiritual direction is to have faith-based trust in the

confessors and the spiritual directors. Yes, they are also human with

their own share of weaknesses and sins. But they have what is called

the “grace of state” which is different from being in the state of

grace. The grace of state is accorded either sacramentally or through

some authority.

  

            Of course, it is always helpful if we spend time preparing

ourselves well before confessing or going to spiritual direction. We

have to put ourselves in the presence of God and really try our best

to fathom the real and ultimate reasons for our thoughts, desires,

words, actions and omission.

   

            A saint also suggested that to facilitate sincerity, we

should say first the thing that we consider to be most shameful. We

should avoid saying that we stole a rope when in fact at the end of

that rope was a carabao.

             To be sure, when we are brutally sincere, we make our life

more simple. We can get to see things more objectively. Our judgments

of things and events become more fair. We unburden ourselves of many

unnecessary baggage. We can act more properly and easily. We somehow

manage to stay above the usual drama of our daily life.

  

            We should try our best to be sincere all the time, with

God, with ourselves and with others. Let’s avoid making stories or,

worse, to create smoke and mirrors in our relation and dialogue with

others—that act of “obscuring or embellishing the truth of a situation

with misleading or irrelevant information.”