Beyond oneself

AS priest who spend a lot of time talking and listening to
people, especially in confession and spiritual direction, I try to be
most careful in seeing whether a person is too engrossed with his own
self, whether it be about his successes or about his own weaknesses,
limitations and sins.

            That would not be very healthy. It certainly is no way for
him to grow spiritually and otherwise. It can simply mean that he is
self-centered, stung with the perfectionist bee, or that he does not
want to experience any suffering, and that he is confining himself to
his own world.

            This would contrast with the attitude of Christ. As St.
Paul put it: “Though he was in the form of God, Jesus did not count
equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied imself, taking
the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being
found in human form he humbled himself, and became obedient unto
death, even death on a cross.” (Phi 2,5-8)

            I believe that our development depends on how we relate
ourselves with the others, and ultimately with God. This is what love
is all about, which is what we are meant for, and for which we are
actually equipped and showered with God's abundant graces. Thus, we
need to be weaned from an exaggerated concern about oneself.

            I also observe that persons who are too engrossed with
their own selves find it hard to move on, to go to the next level. If
they get stuck with with successes and victories, they tend to get
complacent and vain. If they get too affected by their failures, they
find it hard to forget what needs to be forgotten and to forgive
themselves and the others. They get fouled up in their growth and
become narrow-minded.

            I believe that at bottom the reason for this phenomenon
could either be ignorance or pride. There is also the possibility of a
deformed conscience that finds it hard to realize that it is ignorant
or proud or complacent.

            We need to overcome this subtle predicament which can
deceptively present itself as a good concern for one's own spiritual
life. Let's remember that the devil is always very clever, and his
lies can be very convincing. We cannot be naive. Thus, Christ wants us
not only to be “innocent like doves” but also “shrewd as serpents.”

            The truth is we are meant to think and to reach out to
others as far as we can get. We need to remind ourselves vividly of
Christ's marching order to his disciples before we ascended into
heaven. “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing
them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,
teaching them to observe all that I commanded you...” (Mt 28,19-20)

            Whatever personal items we have, whether it be good or
bad, successes or failures, etc., should be viewed, understood,
pursued and resolved in the context of our relation with God and with
everybody else.

            This is the only way we can be on track toward our human
and Christian maturity. We need to develop a deeply missionary
attitude and lifestyle. We have to make some drastic updating of our
understanding of what a missionary is. We should not get stuck with
the common, textbook idea that a missionary is usually a priest or nun
who goes to a far-away place, and literally starts a settlement there.

            While this concept of a missionary is still valid—it will
always be—it now cries to be expanded to reflect its true character,
especially given today’s fast-moving and more complicated world.

            We have to understand that everyone, by virtue of his
sheer humanity and much more, his Christianity, is called to be a
missionary, and that he does not need to go to distant lands because
his immediate environment already needs a more effective,
down-to-earth evangelization.

            Yes, even the ordinary guy in an office, the farmer, the
businessman, the politician, the entertainers, artists and athletes,
are called to be missionaries. That’s simply because as persons with a
prominently social dimension in our life, we have to be responsible
for one another.

            It's for this reason that I usually encourage people to
forget about themselves, not to worry so much about their personal
mistakes and difficulties. Just focus on reaching out to others and to
God, especially, and things will just fall into place.

            That's also why I encourage them to have a sporty attitude
in life. As long as we play our game the best way we can, we always
win, even if humanly speaking, we lose.