Friday, November 1, 2019

A commitment is not a straitjacket


FAR from straitjacketing or stereotyping us, entering into a
commitment would simply show that we are so driven with love and a
deep sense of freedom that we are willing to take on whatever
consequences our commitment would make on us.
   
          We are human with a soul that is spiritual but with a body
that is material. While our spiritual self orients us to the infinite
and to an endless range of possibilities, our material self puts us
under so many conditions and specifications. In a sense, a commitment
concretizes the spiritual in us.
  
          We have to learn how to blend these two fundamental
qualities of our being, because we can neither be purely spiritual nor
purely material. We have to be both. Our spiritual self needs to be
materialized, while our material self needs to be spiritualized.
   
          And entering into a commitment simply puts the spiritual and
infinity-oriented character of our love and freedom into the material
conditions and specifications of our life. A commitment is our love
and freedom expressed in a concrete and specific way. It makes our
love and freedom avoid being fuzzy. Rather, it makes them clear.
  
          While a commitment has its costs, requirements and
obligations, we would be willing to meet and assume them precisely
because of love and our sense of freedom. A commitment shows our level
of maturity. When we enter into a commitment, we know what we are
giving up in order to gain something much better than what we give up.
   
          A commitment reflects what Christ once said about a certain
detachment that is necessary to be with him. “If anyone comes to me
and does not hate his father and mother and wife and children and
brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple,”
he said. (Lk 14,26)
  
          We have to understand what Christ really meant by “hate”
here. To be sure, it does not mean that we hate anyone in the usual
way we understand the word “hate.” Let’s remember that we are
commanded to love everyone, including the enemies.
  
          Rather to “hate” here means to be detached from anyone, no
matter how close he is to us, who can sort of compete with our love
for God. Nothing and no one should stand in the way of our love for
God, knowing that by loving God fully, we also would know how to love
everybody else properly.
  
          A commitment will always involve some sacrifices, some
giving up. This happens when a man marries a woman. He marries her
because he loves her, but when he already marries her, he is committed
to love her till death, with a love that, since it involves the body,
is exclusive.
  
          By marrying he knows that he has to raise a family, and
therefore should be ready to take on the pertinent responsibilities
that will require a lot of sacrifice.
  
          The same when a man enters the priesthood. He submits
himself to the requirements of celibacy, poverty and obedience, making
himself as available as he can to the assignments given him by his
bishop and the spiritual needs of the people.
  
          A man with a good sense of commitment knows that even if he
has a concrete way of doing things, he is not envious of how others
are with their own way of doing things. Neither does he feel superior
or inferior to them because of their different lifestyle.
  
          A commitment to a vocation provides one with a specific path
to reach his ultimate goal, which is to be with God in heaven. One
knows that his commitment to a vocation is one path among many others
that can bring us to heaven. We just have to respect each other and
try to figure out how we can mutually help each other.


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