AS school chaplain, I get to talk with students who are transitioning
from one level to another—be it from high school to college or from
college to professional life, etc. A common problem or difficulty
these students meet in this stage of their life is that of adjustment.
Most of the time, these students realize that they have new
responsibilities to assume, new challenges and expectations to meet.
Though many of them manage to cope with the new things, some find it
hard and fall into crisis, sometimes grave, almost fatal or suicidal
crisis.
These problematic cases often manifest a common feature—that of
somehow being spoiled by privileges, entitlements, comfort and
carefree lifestyle that they enjoyed and received from their parents
and peers.
This time though, as they enter a new phase in their life, they notice
that these perks are ebbing away for a number of reasons, and they
find it hard to go on without them. While this phenomenon is quite
normal and should be expected, some of these young ones do not know
how to handle it. They are unprepared for these changes, or they
simply refuse to make the necessary adjustments.
They continue to expect the same things, when circumstances have in
fact changed, sometimes drastically. And so they get disappointed and
frustrated, and from there more serious problems can be triggered.
They fail to realize that gospel indication of Christ: “Whoever exalts
himself shall be humbled, and whoever humbles himself shall be
exalted.” (Mt 23,12) They fail to match their growth in their status
with the corresponding growth in their sense of responsibility, in the
tenor of what Christ himself said: “The greatest among you shall be
your servant.” (Mt 23,11)
This is where they have to be reminded—with patience and reassurance
but with clear and strong admonition—that they have to know how to
wean themselves from their previous lifestyle and start to get real
with the objective changes of circumstances in their lives.
Part of this reminder should be the explanation that all the attention
and affection lavished on them by their parents and others while they
were growing up was meant for them to grow toward maturity and not for
them to get spoiled.
Getting spoiled by all the attention, privileges and entitlements
given to them can happen when they fail to realize this crucial truth
about their life. They fail to act on what Christ himself said: “From
everyone who has been given much, much will be required; and to whom
they entrusted much, of him they will ask all the more.” (Lk 12,48)
So this is where they have to be taught how to grow in responsibility,
teaching them to be ever mindful and thoughtful of the others, and to
realize that our life, like Christ’s life, is meant to serve and not
to be served.
In fact, all of us have to do everything to acquire, develop and
enrich this attitude in ourselves and among ourselves, inspiring and
inculcating it in others as much as we can, for it is what is truly
proper of us all.
With God’s grace, we have to exert effort to overcome the
understandable awkwardness and tension involved in blending the
natural and the supernatural aspects of this affair, as well as the
expected resistance we can give, due to the effects of our sins.
We can make use of our daily events to cultivate this attitude. For
example, as soon as we wake up from sleep in the morning, perhaps the
first thing we have to do is address ourselves to God and say
“Serviam” (I will serve). It’s the most logical thing to do, given who
God is and who we are in relation to him.
And “Serviam” is a beautiful aspiration that can immediately put us in
the proper frame of mind for the day. It nullifies Satan’s “Non
serviam” and our tendency to do our own will instead of God’s, which
is what sin, in essence, is all about.
And as we go through our day, let’s see to it that everything we do is
done as a service to God and to others. Let’s not do them merely out
of self-interest or self-satisfaction. That kind of attitude is highly
poisonous to us, ruinous to our duty to love. Sooner or later, we will
find ourselves completely engulfed by self-centeredness.
For us to be able to do things as service of love to God and to
others, we have to continually rectify our intentions. We should be
quick to react when we notice that our intentions and motivations are
already invaded by self-interest.
from one level to another—be it from high school to college or from
college to professional life, etc. A common problem or difficulty
these students meet in this stage of their life is that of adjustment.
Most of the time, these students realize that they have new
responsibilities to assume, new challenges and expectations to meet.
Though many of them manage to cope with the new things, some find it
hard and fall into crisis, sometimes grave, almost fatal or suicidal
crisis.
These problematic cases often manifest a common feature—that of
somehow being spoiled by privileges, entitlements, comfort and
carefree lifestyle that they enjoyed and received from their parents
and peers.
This time though, as they enter a new phase in their life, they notice
that these perks are ebbing away for a number of reasons, and they
find it hard to go on without them. While this phenomenon is quite
normal and should be expected, some of these young ones do not know
how to handle it. They are unprepared for these changes, or they
simply refuse to make the necessary adjustments.
They continue to expect the same things, when circumstances have in
fact changed, sometimes drastically. And so they get disappointed and
frustrated, and from there more serious problems can be triggered.
They fail to realize that gospel indication of Christ: “Whoever exalts
himself shall be humbled, and whoever humbles himself shall be
exalted.” (Mt 23,12) They fail to match their growth in their status
with the corresponding growth in their sense of responsibility, in the
tenor of what Christ himself said: “The greatest among you shall be
your servant.” (Mt 23,11)
This is where they have to be reminded—with patience and reassurance
but with clear and strong admonition—that they have to know how to
wean themselves from their previous lifestyle and start to get real
with the objective changes of circumstances in their lives.
Part of this reminder should be the explanation that all the attention
and affection lavished on them by their parents and others while they
were growing up was meant for them to grow toward maturity and not for
them to get spoiled.
Getting spoiled by all the attention, privileges and entitlements
given to them can happen when they fail to realize this crucial truth
about their life. They fail to act on what Christ himself said: “From
everyone who has been given much, much will be required; and to whom
they entrusted much, of him they will ask all the more.” (Lk 12,48)
So this is where they have to be taught how to grow in responsibility,
teaching them to be ever mindful and thoughtful of the others, and to
realize that our life, like Christ’s life, is meant to serve and not
to be served.
In fact, all of us have to do everything to acquire, develop and
enrich this attitude in ourselves and among ourselves, inspiring and
inculcating it in others as much as we can, for it is what is truly
proper of us all.
With God’s grace, we have to exert effort to overcome the
understandable awkwardness and tension involved in blending the
natural and the supernatural aspects of this affair, as well as the
expected resistance we can give, due to the effects of our sins.
We can make use of our daily events to cultivate this attitude. For
example, as soon as we wake up from sleep in the morning, perhaps the
first thing we have to do is address ourselves to God and say
“Serviam” (I will serve). It’s the most logical thing to do, given who
God is and who we are in relation to him.
And “Serviam” is a beautiful aspiration that can immediately put us in
the proper frame of mind for the day. It nullifies Satan’s “Non
serviam” and our tendency to do our own will instead of God’s, which
is what sin, in essence, is all about.
And as we go through our day, let’s see to it that everything we do is
done as a service to God and to others. Let’s not do them merely out
of self-interest or self-satisfaction. That kind of attitude is highly
poisonous to us, ruinous to our duty to love. Sooner or later, we will
find ourselves completely engulfed by self-centeredness.
For us to be able to do things as service of love to God and to
others, we have to continually rectify our intentions. We should be
quick to react when we notice that our intentions and motivations are
already invaded by self-interest.
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