Monday, October 1, 2012

Love unites and builds


“WHOEVER is not against you is for you.” (Lk 9,50) What wonderful
words coming from the lips of Christ! He wants us to be broad-minded,
not narrow-minded, tolerant, not intolerant. He wants us to seek first
what unites us, rather than get entangled with what divides us.

With these words, Christ wants us to live the whole array of virtues
that organically flow from true charit: magnanimity, mercy, positive
and constructive outlook, optimism and affability, tact and decorum,
patience and self-restraint, discretion and good sense of timing, etc.

We have to learn how to discipline our mind and tongue. Remember what
St. James said: “The tongue no man can tame, an unquiet evil, full of
deadly poison. By it we bless God and the Father. And by it we curse
men, who are made after the likeness of God...My brethren, these
things ought not to be so.” (3,8-10)

Yes, we may be discriminating in our views in the sense that we should
try to give our best ideas when reacting to any issue or situation.
But we should never be discriminatory in the sense that we look down
on those views we consider to be inferior or different from ours.

True charity does not blind us to what is really wrong, immoral or
imprudent. It does not lead us to an anything-goes and anarchic world.
But it knows how to handle these situations properly, following the
principle of “fortiter in re, suaviter in modo.” It knows how and
where to be strict, and how and where to be lenient.

St. Paul has these pertinent beautiful words: “Charity is patient, is
kind. Charity envies not, deals not perversely, is not puffed up. It’s
not ambitious, seeks not her own, is not provoked to anger, thinks no
evil. It rejoices not in iniquity, but rejoices with the truth. It
bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all
things.” (1 Cor 13, 4-7)

We have to be wary of our tendency to fall into self-righteousness and
bitter zeal, the usual diseases of the so-called brilliant people or
those endowed with special talents and other natural gifts.
They—we—are prone to pride and vanity that lead us to these sweet but
toxic predicaments.

These questionable attitudes usually show themselves when we tend to
have the last word always, when we want other people to always defer
to our opinions, when we fail to consult others before making
decisions, when we feel we are superior to others, etc. We should
immediately shoot down any spark of these attitudes as soon as they
come.

Humility is a must, because humility is the truth, as one saint put
it. It leads us to be objective and fair in our judgments and dealings
with others. It vitally connects us wih God always, the source of all
good things.

Especially in our days when our relationships are often marked by
differences and even conflicts of opinions, we need to be truly humble
to be able to hold our horses and conduct our exchanges in a truly
human and Christian way. Otherwise, we would just go ballistic.

We also need to understand that our differences and conflicts in views
and positions regarding many issues are not necessarily bad or
negative developments. They can be good, because they are really part
of our human condition. We are meant to have different views of
things.

Imagine if we have a uniform or monochrome world! What a bore it would
be! What impoverished vision of things we would have!

In a way, it’s good to stimulate these differences even. These
differences and conflicts foster greater understanding of things,
detaching us from our own little world and narrow mindset to lead us
to the bigger, more universal picture. Indeed, they can be our good
and necessary teachers in life. They can broaden our mind and heart.

We therefore need to see to it that we are truly anchored on Christ,
on his teaching and example, as also shown in the lives of saints.
It’s only in that condition that we can manage, with God’s grace, to
have that love for others that truly unites and builds, rather than
divides and destroys.

Of course, we have to understand that this Christian way can involve a
lot of suffering, as in being misunderstood, persecuted, ridiculed,
mocked and insulted, ostracized and branded. We have to be ready for
these possibilities. And so it is good not to be too sensitive and to
learn how to be sport always.

Fortitude is another requirement in this game of our earthly life.

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