AS the new chaplain of a school for boys from Grade 1 to
senior high,
I get to deal with boys as they grow from kidhood to adolescence. I
find it gratifying just to see their fast-paced development and
transformation.
There was even a time when I went out of town for a week, and when I
came back I had the impression the little ones grew an inch taller or
some pounds heavier. That’s how fast they change.
Of late, I’ve been the doing the rounds of giving religion classes as
guest lecturer to each section. They have their regular teachers. It’s
a way for me to get a feel of how each class is and to see as much as
possible the different peculiarities of the individual students, etc.
And mind you, the variety can be mind-boggling.
Most importantly, I get to know what lessons they are having. Since
this is my first priestly assignment in a boys’ school—I’ve been
exposed more to mature men and women and college students—I am not yet
familiar with their curriculum. In fact, I am not very familiar with a
boys’ school environment.
What I immediately see is the need to enter into a friendly
relationship with each one of the students as much as possible. I’m
already a senior citizen. There are both advantages and disadvantages
to that.
The boys don’t see me as their buddy, but I get the impression that
they treat me more like their grandfather. So I just have to squeeze
as much advantage as I can out of that situation. So far, I think I am
succeeding well.
The primary school students don’t offer much challenge. They just
like to rush to me, to kiss my hand and expect a blessing from me.
They do this everytime I pass by their classrooms, and so I have to
tell them that they can do that only once a day, not many times. But
they often forget.
The interesting challenge starts with the intermediate students. Here
you can already find boys having some little crises of identity, of
how to handle their energies, their mistakes and falls, and of course
their accomplishments and successes, etc.
This to me is crucial because very often they fall into unnecessary
predicaments, more on the emotional and psychological aspects, just
because of problems and issues that are not really important.
While the ideal is to help them develop a delicate and correct
conscience, the challenge is how to help them avoid developing a
scrupulous conscience on the one hand, or the other extreme, the lax
conscience, on the other.
But first I have to win their confidence. What helps here is to make
myself always visible, and of course very friendly and welcoming. In
this regard, I have to adapt to their mentality and ways which
requires a lot of patience and understanding. I have to restrain my
tendency to be very assertive, and try to listen and to give
reassurances.
They need to feel they are always understood and that no amount of
ugly things can scandalize me. They have to be encouraged to be open
and sincere, to avoid hiding things out of shame or fear. They have to
be reassured that there is always a solution to their problems.
They tend to be simplistic in their vision of things and ironically
to easily fall into complicated and twisted reasoning. That plus their
instability typical of their condition often lead them to exaggerate
their problems to which they react either by getting depressed and to
clam up or by getting wild and rebellious.
My experience is that boys do cry, even if they look tough on the
outside and have gained the reputation of being bad. They actually
have a big heart, yet untapped. And once that heart is touched, they
are capable of being driven in pursuit of high ideals. O, what
magnificent possibilities they actually possess!
How important therefore it is to stay close to them and to help them
develop the sense that they need some intimate spiritual direction!
Their mistakes and falls are actually occasions for them to get closer
to God, to ask for more grace, to develop the appropriate virtues.
Errors can be turned into a very positive element in their lives.
They need to feel that God is always a father who understands them
always, and who loves them no matter what. Once they see that and get
convinced by that, then they can unleash their energies that are still
in the pure and virginal state.
I get to deal with boys as they grow from kidhood to adolescence. I
find it gratifying just to see their fast-paced development and
transformation.
There was even a time when I went out of town for a week, and when I
came back I had the impression the little ones grew an inch taller or
some pounds heavier. That’s how fast they change.
Of late, I’ve been the doing the rounds of giving religion classes as
guest lecturer to each section. They have their regular teachers. It’s
a way for me to get a feel of how each class is and to see as much as
possible the different peculiarities of the individual students, etc.
And mind you, the variety can be mind-boggling.
Most importantly, I get to know what lessons they are having. Since
this is my first priestly assignment in a boys’ school—I’ve been
exposed more to mature men and women and college students—I am not yet
familiar with their curriculum. In fact, I am not very familiar with a
boys’ school environment.
What I immediately see is the need to enter into a friendly
relationship with each one of the students as much as possible. I’m
already a senior citizen. There are both advantages and disadvantages
to that.
The boys don’t see me as their buddy, but I get the impression that
they treat me more like their grandfather. So I just have to squeeze
as much advantage as I can out of that situation. So far, I think I am
succeeding well.
The primary school students don’t offer much challenge. They just
like to rush to me, to kiss my hand and expect a blessing from me.
They do this everytime I pass by their classrooms, and so I have to
tell them that they can do that only once a day, not many times. But
they often forget.
The interesting challenge starts with the intermediate students. Here
you can already find boys having some little crises of identity, of
how to handle their energies, their mistakes and falls, and of course
their accomplishments and successes, etc.
This to me is crucial because very often they fall into unnecessary
predicaments, more on the emotional and psychological aspects, just
because of problems and issues that are not really important.
While the ideal is to help them develop a delicate and correct
conscience, the challenge is how to help them avoid developing a
scrupulous conscience on the one hand, or the other extreme, the lax
conscience, on the other.
But first I have to win their confidence. What helps here is to make
myself always visible, and of course very friendly and welcoming. In
this regard, I have to adapt to their mentality and ways which
requires a lot of patience and understanding. I have to restrain my
tendency to be very assertive, and try to listen and to give
reassurances.
They need to feel they are always understood and that no amount of
ugly things can scandalize me. They have to be encouraged to be open
and sincere, to avoid hiding things out of shame or fear. They have to
be reassured that there is always a solution to their problems.
They tend to be simplistic in their vision of things and ironically
to easily fall into complicated and twisted reasoning. That plus their
instability typical of their condition often lead them to exaggerate
their problems to which they react either by getting depressed and to
clam up or by getting wild and rebellious.
My experience is that boys do cry, even if they look tough on the
outside and have gained the reputation of being bad. They actually
have a big heart, yet untapped. And once that heart is touched, they
are capable of being driven in pursuit of high ideals. O, what
magnificent possibilities they actually possess!
How important therefore it is to stay close to them and to help them
develop the sense that they need some intimate spiritual direction!
Their mistakes and falls are actually occasions for them to get closer
to God, to ask for more grace, to develop the appropriate virtues.
Errors can be turned into a very positive element in their lives.
They need to feel that God is always a father who understands them
always, and who loves them no matter what. Once they see that and get
convinced by that, then they can unleash their energies that are still
in the pure and virginal state.
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