Let’s get personal

WHAT I mean here is that we should rid ourselves of formalistic ways, long in theories and big ideas but short in personal and direct dealings with people, or long in words and good intentions but short in deeds, or long in justice but short in charity, patience, understanding and affection.

Lately, I’ve been reading several in-depth situationers of different aspects of Church life—search for priestly vocations, seminary formation, lay apostolate, liturgical concerns, etc. 

They have been written by eminent Cardinals and Bishops, and other Church officials and experts with vast pastoral experience, extensive training and formation, and with palpable level of spirituality.

They are truly a source of good information that can drastically raise the level of knowledge of the general public who otherwise would hardly know the subtle and intricate forces at play in the world and in the Church today.

Still I have a two cents worth to say about the whole thing. And that is, that while we are highly appreciative of all these brilliant analyses, we should never forget that what matters in the end is to get personal in our dealings with everyone.

We have to be wary when we fall to formalistic ways. That’s when we prefer to stick only to the externals and appearances in our dealings with others, to what is officially defined and bureaucratic, without any effort to enter into their mind and heart, considering their personal feelings and their other peculiar ways.

Obviously, these formalistic ways have their part to play. Specially in offices, schools and in other formal and public situations, we cannot help but get into formal mode.

But we have to understand that these formalistic ways should never replace, much less suppress the direct, personal dealings with others, marked by a certain intimacy and delicacy, which is but proper to us since we are persons, not things, and subjects, not mere objects.

However we may be placed in our human way of ranking ourselves, whether we are on top or at the bottom, in front or at the back, everyone of us as a person needs to be motivated by what is objectively true, good and beautiful. We just cannot be pushed around, lectured about abstract theories. We need to be dealt with very personally.

Besides, we have different characters, temperaments, sensitivities that need to be respected and, in fact, also to be appreciated, regardless of their defects, precisely because we have to love each person the way he o she is, and each one has a unique way of contributing to the common good.

Even if a person is wrong in some issue or has committed an offense deserving some punishment out of justice, our charity should never falter. And for that charity to be genuine charity, it has to be the charity of Christ, who commanded us to love one another as he loved us.

This charity of Christ means that we have to learn and to be ready to love even our enemies or at least those who consider themselves our enemies, since we should not have enemies as far as we as Christians are concerned.

 Christian charity can also mean that like Christ, we are willing to assume and bear the sinfulness of others. This is the true test of a Christian.

In short, we have to be real friends and brothers and sisters with everyone, and not stop in the level of considering others only as workers, bosses, political party mates or opponents, or social networking friends and acquaintances, etc. Trust, confidence, loyalty should reign.

I believe that if we truly strive to achieve this kind of dealings with others, there would be no problem or obstacle that would be too big not to be resolved one way or another. This is the charity that conquers all, as St. Paul once said.

I remember a story of a priest who, as part of his personal apostolate with fellow priests, would visit sick priests in hospitals even if he did not know them personally yet.

One time he visited a sick priest. In the course of the visit, another visitor, an old and rather gossipy old man, came and accidentally revealed to him that the sick priest actually did not look with favor at the group to which the visiting priest belonged.

The visiting priest said that was no problem and gave the sick priest a brotherly hug and some nice words. That changed the whole situation. From the time on, the two priests became very close friends.

Charity, not big ideas, really does wonders.