Both delicate and tough

ESPECIALLY in discussing highly contentious issues, like

the political and social ones, all parties involved should try to be

both delicate and tough. This is how we can conduct our discussions in

a way that is positive, fruitful and constructive.

  

            We need to be delicate because more than issues, what are

involved are persons who should always be respected and loved in spite

of our differences, conflicts, mistakes and offenses. We have to try

our best to understand them and to treat them as best as we could.

  

            We just cannot think of how valid and strong our views are

without considering the people who have different opinions. We just

cannot push our views by bullying our way around. What we should

strive to do is to calibrate the presentation of our views such that

the others can appreciate them properly.

  

            Thus, more than digging deeper in our views, what is more

important is to know how the people are, so that our views may be

accepted. Especially in matters of opinion, we have to listen to the

other side always, because no matter how different theirs are, no one

has the exclusive possession of what is true, good and beautiful.

Everyone has something to offer.

  

            And we also need to be tough, because no matter how much

we try to be nice and charitable, we cannot help but commit mistakes

and offenses in the process, and we just have to resist being too

sensitive. More than that, we have to be pro-active in understanding

others and quick to offer forgiveness when we get offended somehow.

  

            In a sense, we need always to be sport. In discussing

issues, we may have to compete intensely, especially in matters where

no position or view can be considered as absolutely correct since it

is all a matter of opinion, but that competition should never

undermine the charity that ought to be lived by all.

  

            This may require that we study the issues well, trying as

much as possible to cover all possible opinions that they may trigger.

That way we would be ready to react properly when such different

opinions come out in the discussion.

  

            Besides, it is always possible that we can learn new

things in the discussion and should be quick to acknowledge whatever

validity the different arguments may offer. We have to be open-minded

and not too attached to our views no matter how strongly we feel about

them.

  

            Courtesy and basic good manners should always prevail in

the discussion. Insults, name-calling, anger, resentments, grudges and

the like should have no place in the exchange of views. We can be

forceful in promoting and defending our views without having to resort

to these things.

  

            Politicians should follow this fundamental rule and lead

the way in giving good example in this department. We should make

acrimonious political debates a thing of the past. Let’s open a new

era in our political discussions that is marked by charity and

selfless pursuit for what is most beneficial to the common good or at

least to the majority of the people without disadvantaging the

minority too much.

  

            Perhaps one concrete way of improving the current state of

our public discussions is to review the way Public Speaking and Debate

is given as a subject in the schools. In those occasions where I

attended the samples of the subject, the students seem to be trained

more to score points than to seek what is most beneficial to most

people, if not to all.

   

            That subject has to have a solid foundation on ethics that

would precisely teach courtesy and good manners, before the students

are trained to think and argue their points.

  

            I even notice that in a local noontime TV show, this kind

of public speaking and debate is promoted. I am afraid this is giving

a bad influence on our society.