Younger as years go by

I JUST marked my senior citizenship and I consider it as some practical joke from above that after years of working with college students and professional men and women, and practically people from all walks of life, I am now assigned to work as chaplain for grade school and high school boys.

Unlike my previous assignments where I usually spent only part of the day for office work, this one somehow requires me to be in school the whole day. Yes, it’s different when you’re dealing with kids. And I consider it a great learning as well as humbling moment. That’s because kids can deliver surprising lessons to the elders.

Boys are boys, and so you have to expect a lot of action and energy still in its raw stage. There are good as well as inconvenient aspects of this situation. And that’s the challenge. I, for one, have to learn how to be in step with them without getting lost, but rather guiding them to a good port.

First of all, I am now more convinced that there’s true wisdom in separating boys and girls in their early schooling, because each group simply has different ways of learning.

Of course, this is not meant to cast aspersion on the advantages of mixed schooling, but rather to address specific needs of children and adolescents. There is need for instruction tailored to respect the differences between boys and girls.

Single-sex schooling helps in avoiding gender-generated distractions, like flirting, and can better promote gender identity. Boys, for example, prefer to have some action like running or jogging to prepare themselves for exams, while girls prefer to calming exercises.

Thing is boys suffer more than girls, they tend to lag behind the girls in their academics, for example, when they attend classes together. Girls also suffer in some areas when mixed with boys.

Single-sex schools respect the peculiarities of boys and girls in their psycho-emotional make-up, attitudes and motivations, etc., and thus strengthen their being boys and being girls, so crucial in making the two genders complement each other properly later on.

I don’t think these schools foster what some groups call as “gender stereotypes.” It can happen that way, of course, if they are not careful. But if they are, then they just acknowledge and respect the differences, and help the boys and girls to learn things and grow properly as boys and girls, respectively.

Well, anyway, it amuses me immensely when during the morning assembly for the flag ceremony, I can see the different stages of kidhood to adolescence. The little ones sing with gusto in their high pitch. They like to rush to the end. The older ones—the high schoolers—tend to act cool and seem disinterested. They are hardly heard.

The little ones are very transparent, the bigger ones already know how to calculate. It’s common knowledge that lying is the first defense mechanism children learn to protect themselves from what they perceive as immediate danger. So this, and other boy issues, have to be handled with delicacy and understanding but also with firmness.

I find it challenging to know how to talk with them the way they are. It certainly is different talking to a grade one kid and chatting with a high school senior gentleman. But it’s important that each student is talked to by the teacher, mentor or the chaplain. No one should be left behind unattended.

As much and as early as possible, the school should know the specific condition of each student—what his strengths and weaknesses are, etc.—and start plotting a plan to help the student develop to maturity that should include social and interpersonal skills.

Each one has to be handled personally and never just in a generic way. The school has to know each student’s physical and mental condition, his emotional and psychological profile, his character and temperament, his talents and deficiencies, etc.

The school also has to know the family background and social and economic condition. Thus, a continuing interaction with parents and guardians, and consultations among the school teachers and staff are a must. Let’s remember that the school is only subsidiary to the family in the education of children.

As much as possible, the school should create an atmosphere of a home, where everyone is known and is a friend, and where trust, confidence and loyalty are lived by everyone as naturally as possible.

I believe these challenges will make a senior citizen young again, a good pre-departure bucket list for his ultimate rebirth.