REMEMBER that in the
60s, during my high school days in
the province, I never heard, much less, seen pornography.
And the sin
of self-abuse was practically unheard of. If ever, there
only were
very occasional and very hushed mention of them among the
‘naughty’
boys who were, of course, my friends.
I started hearing about
these things more often and more
openly when I began my college studies in Manila in the late
60s and
early 70s. It was a period of drastic changes in my life,
reflecting
very vividly the many changes I experienced in my own body
and those
I’ve seen in the environment.
Truth to tell, I
experienced what St. Paul described in his
Letter to the Romans: “We know that the law is spiritual;
but I am
carnal, sold under sin. I do not understand my own actions.
For I do
not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate…
“For I delight in the law
of God, in my inmost self, but I
see in my member another law at war with the law of my mind
and making
me captive to the law of sin which dwells in my members.
Wretched man
that I am! Who will deliver me from this body death? Thanks
be to God
through Jesus Christ our Lord!...” (7,14ff.)
I was most thankful that
in those years, I also discovered
my vocation that somehow shielded me to a large extent from
the
enormous pressure of the temptations outside and inside.
Those were
tumultuous times that occasioned in me the strengthening of
my faith,
my piety, my hope, my charity and the whole gamut of the
virtues.
The lesson and insight I
learned from those years was that
God allows us to get dirty in difficult if not impossible
situations
in order to purify us, to prod us to really grow in the
virtues in
their genuine state and not just their appearance or
caricature. He
never leaves us and is always there to help, but we have to
learn to
turn to him.
Our problem usually is
that we tend to ignore him. And
that’s when what is already bad becomes worse. But if we go
to him in
our weakness and even in sinfulness, he will always be there
to help.
I believe that’s what St. Paul meant when he said:
“But he (Christ) said to
me, ‘My grace is sufficient for
you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I
will boast
all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s
power may
rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in
weaknesses,
in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.
For when I
am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Cor 12,9-11)
Thus, we should not worry
too much, much less plunge into
despair when we are caught in a seemingly helpless and
irredeemable
situation because such situation can actually occasion a
marvelous
change and improvement in our life through God’s grace and
mercy.
Somehow, with Christ we
can echo these reassuring
experiences of St. Paul who said: “We are afflicted in every
way, but
not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair;
persecuted, but not
forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in
the body
the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be
manifested
in our bodies.” (2 Cor 4,8-10)
God can always derive
good from evil. He allows, not causes,
evil to befall on us so that a greater good can be made. We
should
always bear this wonderful truth of our faith in mind,
always asking
for his grace so that we can also do our part to correspond
to his
loving grace and mercy by praying, sacrificing, etc., as we
tackle the
challenge of the scourge and epidemic of impurity.
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