Both strict and lenient

IF we truly want to be like Christ, full of love and

mercy, we should be very strict with ourselves but very lenient with

the others. Yes, we have to be very demanding on ourselves but very

understanding, forgiving and welcoming of the others even if we know

they are wrong in some points, or they may even have offended us.

  

            This was how Christ was and is with his own self and in

his dealings with the others. He spared nothing to carry out his

mission to save us, and gave all allowances to accommodate everyone in

that mission of human salvation. He even commanded us to love our

enemies. He even offered forgiveness to those who crucified him.

  

            If we are truly inspired by the love of God, we know that

we have to do our best in whatever undertaking we are making. That is

the law of love. Nothing can be better in expressing that most

demanding, most strict love than when Christ commanded us to love one

another as he himself as loved us. (cfr. Jn 13,34)

  

            It’s a love that involves total self-giving, including

one’s life. As Christ himself said, “Greater love has no one than

this: to lay down one's life for one's friends.” (Jn 15,13)

  

            The same love would make us most understanding and lenient

with the others, avoiding judging others and finding faults in them,

offering excuses for their weaknesses and mistakes, etc.

  

            As St. Paul would put it, describing how our love for the

others should be, “love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it

does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is

not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of

wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It

always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (1

Cor 13,4-7)

  

            It does not mean, of course, that while we should be

demanding on ourselves, we do not anymore acknowledge our limitations

and the need to give the proper accommodations to such tenuous

condition of ours. We should never forget that even our best and most

demanding efforts could not take away our weaknesses completely nor do

away with all possibility of mistakes and sins.

  

            Our strictness should not be an expression of

perfectionism, of some obsessive-compulsive disorder that, sad to say,

seems to be on the rise today. The strictness of our love should give

due allowance to our weaknesses and our over-all fragile condition

here on earth, what with all the temptations and the enemies of our

soul to contend with!

  

            Neither does our love for others be so lenient that we

would completely quash any effort to help others to grow in their

spiritual life, helping them in any we can by giving suggestions, for

example, and even giving them timely corrections.

  

            Yes, we should be accommodating and welcoming of everyone

in the way they are, warts and all, but this leniency should not be

taken to mean that we should have no concern to help them grow in

their spiritual life, in their love for God and everybody else as

well.

  

            They also have to learn to be strict with their own

selves, if we manage to teach them how to truly love. In fact, the

gauge of our effectiveness in our love for others would be if we

manage to make them love God and others as well, being strict and

demanding on themselves while being lenient and understanding towards

others.

  

            We really need to pause from time to time to see how we

can have this kind of love that is both strict and lenient, demanding

on ourselves while being understanding, compassionate and forgiving of

the others.