The art of gradualness

WE need to have a good understanding on this art of

gradualness. With our times getting more complicated and the

discussions and exchanges on several concerns getting more

controversial and conflictive, we should truly learn the art of

gradualness.

  

                We should try our best to avoid getting too hardened

in our views and opinions, too quick in making judgments and in

finding fault in the views of others, and too strident in voicing our

points. These would only lead us nowhere but to undesirable

destructive effects and worse consequences.

  

                Nowadays, thanks to the wonders of modern technology,

we can easily follow discussions of several political, social,

religious issues, etc. not only locally but also internationally. It’s

indeed a great blessing to enjoy this development.

  

                But it cannot be denied either that in this sphere the

tone of the discussion is generally marked by dissonance and

divisiveness. The air created is getting increasingly toxic and

unbearable. We need to do something about it.

   

                Why don’t we learn to slow down a bit, tone down our

voices, listen more to others, and do some more study, reflection and

amicable consultations before we proceed with our ideas?

                 The main problem, I think, is that many of us prefer

to dominate others, to score points, to sound right and superior to

others. We hardly give any regard to the need for understanding and

compassion, asserting our views with restraint and utmost courtesy to

everyone.

  

                Let’s remember that where any trace of pride,

arrogance, vanity, coercion is found in our statements, we can only

elicit the same reactions from others. And from there, the slippery

slope to vulgarity opens up.

                  Let’s learn the art of gradualness so we can better

blend the requirements of truth and charity, justice and mercy,

orthodoxy and tolerance. It enables us to better deal with the

realities of life where good and evil co-exist, where what is right

and what is wrong will always be around.

                  It helps us to treat each other as persons, as

friends, brethren, children of God even if we have different and even

opposing positions. It would make us to be more accepting of everyone

irrespective of who and how they are.

  

                Of course, this art of gradualness does not mean that

there is no right and wrong in our views, no fair and unfair

treatment, or that what is true is false, what is authentic is fake,

or that there are no absolute and relative things in life.

  

                But it will surely involve discipline, effort,

self-denial, patience, sacrifice, magnanimity. We have to be ready to

face being misunderstood and even mistreated. We have to be ready to

follow the example of Christ who in the words of St. Peter: “Did not

retaliate when they heaped abuse on him, made no threats when he was

made to suffer, but entrusted himself to his Father who judges

justly.” (1 Pt 2,23)

  

                When we have to express our views, let us do it, of

course, with clarity and some forcefulness but always in charity, in

an amenable, meek and humble tone. We have to have a good grip on our

emotions and passions. Anger should be avoided.

  

                When things seem to lead to a flashpoint, it would be

better to back off for a while. This may be humanly considered as a

sign of weakness or capitulation even. But for sure in the eyes of

God, who is the ultimate judge, it can only mean that we are following

his will and way rather than those of ours and of the world.

  

                This art of gradualness will certainly identify us

more with Christ rather than to keep us to our own animal selves.

That’s what happens when we detach ourselves from Christ. There may be

some rationality involved, but in the end we become more an animal

than a child of God.