Two heads are better than one

 “I SAY to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything

they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where

two or three are gathered in my name, there am I in the midst of

them.” (Mt 18,19-20)

            We should always remember these words in our collective

activities. We should never think that in our meetings and gatherings,

we are simply on our own, guided only by our own agendas. God is in

the middle in all these, and he should be the center and focus.

Collegiality should be understood in this way. Otherwise, what would

we be doing?

            And among these collective activities, special attention

has to be given when we give or receive spiritual direction. In this

specific means of spiritual formation, we need to realize that both

the giver and the receiver are trying to discern the will of God as we

face different issues in our daily life.

            It is our way of trying to figure out what exactly is the

Holy Spirit telling us, convinced that two heads are better than one

in this delicate task of discernment. Obviously, the spiritual

director is there to help, but the directee is the one who in the

final analysis would have to make the decision.

            It should be clear to both parties that it is Christ who

is the model to be followed and the Holy Spirit who is the modeler to

be obeyed. The spiritual director, no matter how holy and competent he

is, is not the model nor the modeler. He just helps, encouraging the

directees to be close to God, opening horizons to them, motivating

them, making suggestions, etc.

            To be sure, spiritual direction can only be properly done

in the context of prayer, always aware of God’s continuing, merciful

and wise providence. It is our way of sustaining our effort at

sanctification as we face all the trials and challenges of our daily

life.  It should not be done only in the level of some psychoanalytic

exercise.

            Of course, it helps that the spiritual director always

gives good example and, in fact, should try his best to be consistent

in the public testimony of his genuine Christian life. But in giving

spiritual direction, he just helps. He has to respect the freedom of

his directee, never imposing his own concrete ways, though he may

suggest them if they are compatible with the directee’s way of being.

            He has to be most sensitive to the temperament of the

directee, and quick to adjust when he notices differences in this

area. He should be knowledgeable enough to identify the specific

spirituality the directee is manifesting, trying to develop it as

fully as possible. He should not impose his own spirituality, and

therefore should be open to all kinds of Church-approved

spiritualities and charisms, of which he should be familiar.

            He should be so broad-minded, patient and understanding as

to inspire the sincerity of the directee. He should try not to be

scandalized by anything, and should reassure the directee that he will

defend the directee before God and men all the way.

            On the part of the directee, he has to realize that he

needs to have spiritual direction. No matter how gifted and holy he

is, he will always need some guidance. Practically all the saints

availed of a spiritual director. He has to choose his director freely,

and goes through that spiritual means of personal formation because he

wants to and not because it is expected of him or that he was told to

do so.

            Spiritual direction should be done in the spirit of

friendship and brotherhood, where trust and confidence in the

mysterious workings of the Holy Spirit should prevail.