Educating children within the family

LET’S always remember that the education of children always starts at
home within the family atmosphere. The parents are the primary
teachers and the home is the first school. Schools play only a
subsidiary role.

Let’s hope that more and more parents realize this. We cannot deny
that many parents think that the education of their children is mainly
the responsibility of schools, teachers, tutors, and other
specialists. We have to explode that myth.

Parents not only bring children to existence. Precisely as parents
they have the primary duty to bring up their children properly. And
this responsibility is not only in the material aspects, like feeding
and clothing, but more in the spiritual and moral aspects that in the
end are a matter of education and formation.

That’s why parents should first of all realize very deeply that they
need a good and ongoing human and spiritual formation. Let’s remember
that this aspect of formation serves as the foundation for any
education and training parents give to their children.

The practical aspects of learning can only be truly effective if they
rest on a good, solid and consistent human and spiritual formation.
Obviously, the basic human and spiritual values and virtues are
learned by giving the children the appropriate basic responsibilities,
like greeting or kissing parents to instill the virtue of respect,
doing some household chores to inculcate the idea of responsibility
and concern for others, etc.

But the bigger responsibilities can only be pursued and developed if
the children already would have some mastery of virtues like humility,
hard work, sincerity, simplicity, thoughtfulness, economy or the
healthy sense of poverty, etc.

Parents should also realize that to create a proper and conducive
atmosphere of learning, they should try to create and keep an
atmosphere of peace and cordiality at home. Since there will always be
differences and conflicts, not to mention, mistakes and failures,
parents should know how to handle these events without compromising
that air of peace and cordiality at home.

Also very important for parents to carry out is to introduce their
children as early as practicable to a life of piety. The rudiments of
prayer and faith should be planted in the children as early as
possible. This is a very important aspect that should not be regarded
as only secondary in the priorities of what to teach the children.

Unless this aspect of the children’s education is firmly put in place,
there will always be the danger that whatever accomplishments the
children may have in other areas would only occasion pride, vanity,
greed, self-centeredness, etc.

Parents should tutor their children in the proper exercise of freedom,
making them understand that freedom ultimately is a matter of
following the truth that in turn comes from God. That is, that freedom
and obedience to God’s will and to the proper instrumentalities of God
(those with certain authority) always go together. In other words,
children should realize as early as possible that freedom and
obedience are not in conflict.

In dealing with their children, parents should try their best to put
themselves in the level of their children. Friendship, affection and
intimacy should be fostered, such that there is trusting openness
between parents and children, even if the right to privacy is also
respected and, in fact, promoted.

Parents should know how to open new horizons to their children in a
gradual and pleasant way. Parents should always think and plan of how
to demand a little bit more from their children, since this is the way
children truly grow toward maturity.

Parents need to know their children’s assets and liabilities, their
strengths and weaknesses, their talents and defects, and on that
knowledge map out the way for the children to develop, blossom and
mature.

Also crucial is for parents to help their children have a good and
correct knowledge of the origin of life, and the role of human
sexuality in our life, and the importance of chastity. This is not to
be prude, but rather to be realistic.

Let’s remember that in this area especially, many children, starting
in their adolescent stage, meet great difficulties that oftentimes are
shameful for them to open up. The parents should take the initiative
to take up this topic with the children.

Parents should also guide their children with respect to choice of
schools, friends, how to study and accomplish their school
assignments.

It should be presumed that parents really spend quality time with
their children, having individual confidential chats with them and
developing the practice of family get-togethers and outings.