Our different languages

WE may not notice it, but we actually use different languages with different people and in different occasions. Just the same, we need to know how to integrate all of them into one that’s consistent with our human condition and goal.

I remember that as a kid I talked with my parents in different ways. With Papa, I had to use reason a lot, I had to make and defend my points. I had to make a score most of the time, otherwise I would not get on well with him. I had to be careful with my words. But I adored him, since I learned a lot from him.

With Mama, there hardly was any word needed. I used a completely different language. Since she was invariably affectionate and sweet, I had to be tender also with her. She understood me always, and I didn’t have to explain anything to her. My love for her could not be compromised.

But when I overstepped, her injured glances were more painful than my father’s very explosive reprimands. Thankfully, there were just few of them. Well, that’s part of growing up in the family.

With her, I tended to be an instant penitent. But with him, I usually turned into a rebel, adept at reasoning and wrangling, because my father always wanted me to explain my mistakes. He had reasons, I also had mine.

In fairness, he made sure that at the end of the day, there was always peace and reconciliation, and I managed to do my part. I learned, especially from my mother, that peace was more important than settling issues. It has to be above differences.

Nowadays, with all the developments around us, we need to learn the lingos and idioms of the different fields we get involved in—academics, legal, sciences, cultural, sports, entertainment, technological as in the Internet and other gadgets, etc.

One time, a friend texted me something that I didn’t quite like. I failed to get the joke it was meant to be. So I tried to be delicate in wording my reply. Just the same it came out negative.

His answer was, LOL. It depressed me in the thought that I offended him. I also was surprised how my friend could have over-reacted to my response and could go to the extent of calling me “fool,” as in “ulol”.

I learned only later that LOL meant “laugh out loud.” From that time on, I resolved to update myself with some of these abbreviated responses that are now common among gadget users.

There’s just one language which I hold most dear, because I consider it the most important, the most basic, the one that ranks and gives meaning to all the languages we use.

This is the language of the heart, the language of faith, of our beliefs, of piety. It’s the one that involves all aspects of our life. It tackles the very essence of life, of love and freedom, truth and justice, and the like. It can use words, but it can go far beyond them. It can plumb deep into mysteries, going beyond reason.

It’s for these reasons that I consider it the most delicate, one that must be protected and defended always. Thus, I get nervous with any undue misuse of it.

One time, someone gave a theological discussion about a certain topic. It was brilliant, and I agreed wholeheartedly with almost all of it. The only problem was that it was presented as if it was the last word on that topic. All other views, especially the differing ones, appeared anathema.

That’s when I felt my blood boil. I was convinced it was a case of a theological view exaggerating itself, such that it sounded to me like it was emptied of charity and understanding for those who for one reason or another could not agree with it or would just have a different take.

It could not come from God, I remembered telling myself. For I remembered that our Lord’s words, for all their forcefulness and precision, were, and are, always full of compassion and mercy.

It’s always good to go to the maximum potentials of our reason and theological reflections. But let’s always remember that these are not supposed to be the last word, claiming for themselves the very essence of faith.

They are mere tools and servants of faith, of our direct conversation with God that takes place in our heart. They have to recognize their true condition and behave accordingly.