Motivating the young

ONE very gratifying task I do is talking with young

people, usually those in the school where I work, and being given the

chance to help them in some way. It’s amazing that just by inviting

them for a short chat, they would already feel very happy and

grateful. And that’s because they actually have a lot to share, if

not, unload.

  

            I realize that many of them have not had the chance of

having some kind of serious talk where serious matters and issues are

brought up. They may appear cheerful and carefree, but many of them

actually bear some heavy load inside their heart. They actually need

an outlet to vent their suppressed fears, doubts, etc.

  

            They feel relieved that they, at least, are being given

some attention, are listened to, and are helped to sort out things

that have been bothering them. In fact, many of them would say they

feel lighter after the chat.

  

            It’s on these occasions when things are clarified, since

the young people usually tend to exaggerate matters of little

importance while belittling, if not ignoring, those that have crucial

consequences. The challenge is how to make them see what are essential

in life and what are simply incidental and instrumental. Many times,

they confuse and reverse the two. Also they have to be taught about

the proper sense of priorities.

  

            It’s a task that requires a lot of patience and

consistency. Follow-ups are necessary, since many of them would get

enthusiastic only at the initial chat but would soon lose interest in

the succeeding ones. Often they are held back by their misplaced sense

of fear and shame.

  

            In this regard, it is important that some degree of

friendship and confidence to the point that they feel at ease in

opening up, is established as early as possible and kept and developed

along the way. They need to feel reassured always.

  

            They need to be helped to know themselves better. They

usually are quite aware of their strengths since they would simply

enjoy them. It’s their weaknesses that they usually are not too

familiar with. And if they know their weaknesses, they usually do not

know how to handle them. This is where they need help.

  

            Of course, the dealings have to be such that they would

always feel understood and respected as they are, warts and all. If

suggestions and corrections have to be made, they have to be done

gently and in the proper time. They should always be made to feel good

and encouraged even if some scolding is made.

            There are, of course, a great variety of young people. And

each one actually is a unique case. But the challenge is to identify

the area where each one needs help. That’s because they may project

many good qualities about themselves but often turn a blind eye on

their weaknesses. They often do not know where the dangers lie given

the way they are.

  

            Thus, it is important that each is considered in our

prayer so that the objective light of Christ can really show how each

one is. It cannot be denied that I, for example, have my own biases

and prejudices that can cloud the proper assessment of persons and

things. We have to be guarded against these biases and prejudices.

   

            Thing is it would always be good if we could help the

young by motivating them to develop as fully as possible their

potentials, suggesting and, if possible, opening new horizons for

them, helping them make some kind of roadmap for this full

development.

   

            In this regard, we can never say that we can reach the

acme of their development and that there can never be some errors

along the way. What is important is that the young people can learn to

fly on their own, so to speak, and would know what to do in any

situation they may find themselves in. What is important is that they

mature!

Always praying

OF course, St. Paul himself said so: “Rejoice always, pray

without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances. For this is the

will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (1 Thes 5,16-18)

   

            And in that episode of Christ visiting the house of the

sisters Martha and Mary, the primacy of prayer is again emphasized.

“Martha, Martha,” Christ said to Martha who was busy with so many

things and was disturbed that her sister seemed to be doing nothing

except to gaze at Christ, “you are worried and upset about many

things. But only one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good

portion, and it will not be taken away from her.” (Lk 10,41-42)

  

            If we realize that our life will always be a life with

God, then prayer should be a constant thing with us since it is prayer

that keeps that relationship going. That is the proper condition of

our human life. Without prayer, we are actually not being human, not

being a child of God as we should be.

  

            Of course, we have to understand prayer not simply as

reciting some vocal prayers and doing novenas and other devotions.

Prayer is simply the upliftment of the heart and mind to God, and this

may not require words and some special acts. It may just be a

sentiment, a certain awareness that we are with God.

  

            That is why we have to learn how to convert everything in

our life into a form of prayer. In fact, there should be nothing in

our life that should not be an act of prayer, since there should be

nothing in our life where we should not be with God. To be sure, God

is always with us. We just have to learn also to be always with him.

  

            This will require some training, of course, just as we

have to learn the tasks relevant to all our human needs: eating

properly, walking, cleaning ourselves, studying, working, etc.

  

            Of course, in prayer there is something special since it

is more a spiritual task than a physical one. And it links us with the

supernatural world, with God, and not just with people and the natural

world. The appropriate adjustments in our mind and attitude should be

made.

  

            That is why we need to spend time and conscious effort to

learn to pray, beginning with the basic exercises like reciting some

vocal prayers and on to the higher levels of prayer like mental

prayer, meditation and contemplation. Hopefully we can graduate from

simply doing the baby steps to becoming real experts and professionals

in prayer.

  

            Definitely we have to exercise our faith always. Thus we

have to know and master the doctrine of our faith, something that will

require time and effort. We have to internalize our faith and let it

inspire and guide us in our prayer.

  

            With that faith, we will realize that everything, in fact,

can be a material and an occasion for prayer. Even our most mundane

activities can be converted into prayer as long as we offer it to God,

doing it with the best of our intentions and effort.

  

            Everything can be made to give glory to God, to thank him,

to expiate for our sins and to ask for favors. Remember St. Paul

saying, “Whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all to the

glory of God.” (1 Cor 10,31) We would be praying that way.

   

            Yes, even our problems and difficulties can and, in fact,

should be used as a material and reason for prayer. When temptations

come and when we fall into sin, we ought to pray to go back to God and

ask for mercy. Things get worse when we run away from him, instead to

going back to him.

When things get toxic

BAD days do happen! Let’s hope they will just be few and

far between. But there certainly are days when we will have a perfect

storm, when everything seems to conspire against us.

  

            Physically we can be a wreck. Emotionally we are

shattered. Mentally we seem to be numb and frozen. Even spiritually we

seem to be dead. Deadlines seem to be chasing us like hell. And

disasters and crises seem to be all around: in the family, the office,

with friends, in love life, etc. There are times when we seem to drown

in our helplessness.

  

            We have to make sure that we do not over-react to this

phenomenon. We have to be ready to face them. Ignoring them or

thinking that there will be no toxic times and that everything will

just be sweet and fine, is quite naïve. Things will just get worse.

There is always hope, a light at the end of the tunnel. Morning will

surely follow the night.

  

            A good reaction can be what is suggested in a responsorial

psalm of a Mass: “Turn to the Lord in your need, and you will live.”

Perhaps repeating those words would reconnect us to the source of hope

that does not defraud us ever.

  

            Sometimes we just need a little of self-psychologizing to

keep ourselves going and ride out the storms. We have to learn to play

little tricks with our own selves. This idea may sound insignificant,

but actually, with it, many have succeeded in turning around their

predicament.

  

            But, yes, it is always with God that we can manage to deal

with our difficulties. Christ himself reassured us: “Come to me, all

you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke

upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and

you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden

light.” (Mt 11,28-30)

  

            With these words, we have the formula for how to properly

handle our toxic days. We always need to go to Christ. We should never

just go through them by our own selves, simply relying on our powers

that definitely cannot cope with the burden.

   

            We also need to realize that whatever toxic burden or yoke

we carry, be it physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, whatever, can

and should always be regarded as the yoke of Christ since he has

assumed all the problems we can have in this life.

  

            Like Christ, let us be gentle and humble in heart, because

this is the only way we can manage to bear whatever toxicity would

come our way. With him alone, we will realize that the yoke is

actually easy and the burden light.

  

            Thus, it is all worthwhile to spend time meditating on

these words of Christ and on his passion, death and resurrection that

put the truth to these words. It is amazing that even now, after so

many centuries after Christ spoke those words, many of us still are

unaware of the significance and power of those words.

  

            It’s truly high time to deeply instill these words in the

consciousness of the people, making them a vital and operative part of

our culture, especially nowadays when toxic days are becoming more

common. We cannot deny that many people do not know how to cope with

their difficulties and are falling into all kinds of sickness. Some

have even gone insane.

            Obviously, one of the things that we need to learn is how

to suffer. We have to understand that suffering, in one form or

another, will always be around. It is part of our human condition

here.

  

            With Christ, our suffering can be borne calmly, joyfully

and meaningfully. We would know that suffering brings with it many

benefits: purification, development of more virtues, and ultimately,

our salvation.

  

            With Christ, we will revive when we suffer, we will

resurrect when we die!