To lead is not to dominate

A GOOD leader is one who guides and motivates people to

follow him. He does not dominate them, dragging them to go along his

way. He inspires them and leaves them free, not forced to do anything.

  

            If they do something for the common good, it’s because

they want to. A good leader keeps and enhances their dignity as

persons and does not reduce them to the status of slaves or pawns.

  

            We need to make this point clear nowadays because there

seems to be a drift toward a concept of leadership that promotes the

elements of fear, coercion, shaming and even violence and the like.

People are treated like mere minions or servants. Things are imposed

rather than suggested on them.

  

            Of course, there are some people who say that as long as a

leader produces some tangible accomplishments, especially in the area

of economics and infrastructure, then it is just ok to have this

baggage of negative elements. It is sort of having a case of sweet

lemoning.

  

            Indeed, it’s true that some degree of fear and

forcefulness is needed in a good leader. But it is a fear and

forcefulness that is inspired by love and freedom. Yes, love and

freedom have their own brand of healthy fear and forcefulness. They

are part of the virtue of fortitude. They are not the servile type of

fear and forcefulness, rather of the filial type.

              A good leader exudes the kind of fear and forcefulness

that gives due consideration to the realistic condition of man who has

very high objective aspirations but burdened with concrete

limitations, weaknesses and errors. He knows how to effectively deal

with this condition.

  

            He knows how to allocate resources fairly and to mobilize

them to trigger proper human development. Thus, he is also always

thoughtful of everyone, friends and foes alike. He struggles to know

their strengths and weaknesses so as to put them in their appropriate

places in any given group, community or society. He wants everyone to

participate in the effort to achieve the common good and helps

everyone to actualize whatever good potentials he has.

  

            For all this, what is truly needed are traits of

integrity, selfless dedication, competence, and all the allied

virtues. Nothing less than being an authentic man of God is required

to be a true leader.

   

            He has to be humble so as to always have that attitude of

wanting to serve rather than to be served. He knows how to pass

unnoticed while serving. It is the fruits of his deeds that will make

him known and popular, not the hype that he creates.

   

            He has to be hopeful and optimistic, for surely there will

be difficulties, problems, mistakes and failures along the way. He

knows how to begin and begin again and to avoid allowing sadness and

bitterness to dominate him.

  

            While he needs to be strong, he also knows how to be

gentle, able to bend so as to be flexible and versatile according to

the needs of people and of the times. This will make him unflappable

in all and any circumstances. He can manage to stand firm and

consistent in fulfilling his duties irrespective of the changing

conditions.

   

            Indeed, as St. Paul once said, he knows how to be “all

things to all men.” (1 Cor 9,22) He is willing to make sacrifices,

even extraordinary ones, knowing that a leader is expected to bear the

greatest burden in any given situation. He does not shy away from such

eventualities.

   

            He remains cheerful whatever the situation. He has a

sporting attitude. What matters to him is that he does his best, even

if his best is not enough to tackle a particular predicament.

  

            And when faced with his own impotency, he would humbly

acknowledge it and looks for somebody else who can help him or even

replace him. He is not unduly attached to his position.

Inspire love, not fear

In our task of apostolate, we should see to it that our

dealings with others should be such that we inspire love rather than

fear in them. We should avoid bullying others in whatever form it

comes—physical, verbal, emotional, psychological, etc.—so that they

may go to God.

            To be sure, God does not want that anyone goes to him more

because of fear rather than of love. In fact, even in the dealings

among ourselves, we want that we be loved rather than feared by

others. We should therefore be careful that in our effort to help

others in their relation with God, love should be the driving force,

not fear and violence.

            We have to practice extreme delicacy and tenderness in our

apostolic dealings, which does not mean that there is no forcefulness

involved either. Let’s remember that in one of the parables of Christ,

there is mention of the “compelle intrare” (compel them to come in).

(cfr Lk 14,17-24)

            This is in the parable of a master asking his servants to

call the invited guests to his feast. Since the invited guests offered

all sorts of excuses not to come, he ordered his servants to go to the

highways and hedges, and “compel people to come in, that my house may

be filled.” (Lk 14,23)

            Just the same, this forcefulness does not mean that we can

do away with delicacy, gentleness and compassion in our dealings with

others, especially those who are not quite ready yet to receive

Christ, or who may even be hostile to our apostolic action.

            This is simply because we have to respect the freedom of

everyone, even if that freedom is not exercised properly. In that

case, we have to go to the process of explaining things slowly and

delicately, preceding, during, and concluding it with prayers and

sacrifices.

            We have no right to impose ourselves on others, and to

trample on their freedom. Even if we manage to force others to comply

with our commands to be with God, if they do it not freely, nothing is

actually achieved. In fact, a worse scenario may even be created.

            We have to be wary of our tendency to control people’s

lives and freedom. That is not the way Christ dealt with everyone.

Yes, he proclaimed the truth in different ways, some in a soft way and

others in a rather strong way, but in the end he did not force anyone

to follow him.

            He practically begged to be believed and followed, and

this he did all the way to offering his very own life. As Christ put

it, “I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all men to

myself.” (Jn 12,32)

            This is because we are not the owners of anyone’s

conscience. God is the only owner. We are at best stewards, tasked to

help others in the name of God. And given the complexity of this

business of apostolate which is something eminently spiritual and

supernatural, we need to practice a lot of restraint and moderation,

thoughtfulness and patience, since we will be involved in some

mysteries which we cannot fully fathom.

            Thus, we have to avoid appearing as if we know everything,

even if we are aware that we know a lot of things. We cannot be too

sure if we are hitting the mark when make our apostolic moves. The

best that we can do is to be delicate and gentle in our dealings,

never acting like a bully or being too pushy.

            More importantly, we need to pray a lot and offer a lot of

sacrifices, always appealing to God’s mercy and wisdom. God is the

only one who can make the impossible possible. We have to allow others

to grow and mature spiritually in a way that is done in freedom and

love.

Same spirit, different expressions

IT’S important that as we flow with the times, obliged to

go with the different and changing developments and circumstances, we

don’t get lost along the way and that we manage to stay focused on our

ultimate goal which is to be with God in heaven, from whom we came and

to whom we belong.

            We have to learn how to relate everything to God. Whether,

according to our human standards, things are good or bad, favorable or

unfavorable to us, we have to know how to relate them to God and how

to react to them according to God’s will and ways.

            This divine way of handling all possible situations and

everything else in our life has been shown to us already by Christ. He

identified himself with us and continues to do so up to now till the

end of time, so that we would know how to behave in any situation we

can find ourselves in, whether it is good or bad.

            Christ precisely went all the way to make himself like sin

without committing sin so that he could show us how to behave in our

worst scenario. He also showed us how to behave when times are good.

            For this, we have to have the spirit of Christ, which is

actually given to us and reinforced every time we receive the

sacraments. It’s just a matter of being mindful of this truth of our

faith and of acting on it, by learning how to have constant presence

of God, and conversing with him all the time.

            Thus, it is important that we know how to pray and

meditate and to become an authentic contemplative even in the midst of

our earthly affairs. This is a skill that everyone of us should learn.

This is basic and indispensable if we want to be consistent with our

identity as a human person and a Christian believer.

            This is when we can say that we have the same spirit even

if that spirit is expressed in different ways depending on the

circumstances that we would be in. A Latin expression articulates this

very well. “Non nova, sed novae.” Not new things but in different

forms, etc.

            St. Paul assures us that it is only in Christ that we can

manage to be “all things to all men,” (1 Cor 9,19) which can be

paraphrased into us being able to be adapt ourselves to all people, to

any kind of situation, without getting confused or lost. St. Paul also

assures us that it is only in Christ who can truly strengthen us so

that we do not get lost along the way. (cfr. Phil 4,13)

            We obviously have to acknowledge that this is not easy to

do. In fact, it is impossible for us to do it if we only would rely on

our own powers. But Christ himself tells us that as long as we are

with him, nothing is actually impossible.

            And St. Paul reinforces this assurance of Christ by saying

that “for those who love God, everything will work out for the good.”

(Rom 8,28) Even our human mistakes and faults and what-have-you can be

taken advantage of to derive some good.

            We just have to stay the course, that is, to be with

Christ. And this is always possible because Christ is always with us.

Being our creator and savior, he cannot be absent from us. It is

simply us who need to learn how to be with Christ all the time.

            We need to train ourselves to relate everything to God by

way of following the example, and more than that, also by identifying

ourselves with Christ who makes this identification possible through

his grace, the sacraments, his word, etc.

            Thus, we need to meditate often on Christ’s life, on his

words and deeds. It should be a habit with us to spend some time daily

for this meditation, so we can become familiar with all his ways of

coping with our human condition