Aging gracefully

MANY people would say it is a matter of the mind, as in

mind over matter, or as in a matter of psychologising oneself. In a

sense, or at least partially, what they say is correct. But there’s a

lot more that is involved in aging gracefully.

            The more precise answer to how we can age gracefully, I

think, is to take care of our soul, of our spiritual life, of our

relationship with God and others. Aging gracefully is a matter of

being in love with the love of God who is the only source of true

love.

            It is this love that makes us young always. It is this

love that enables us to age gracefully. It is this love that can defy

the ravages of time, that can make us enter into eternity, into the

forever. No wrinkles, no physical, emotional or mental deterioration

can overcome the rejuvenating power of this love. It is this love that

makes everything new.

            Remember Christ saying: “The Spirit gives life. The flesh

counts for nothing. The words I have spoken to you—they are full of

the Spirit and life.” (Jn 6,63) It would be good if we often meditate

on these words and be guided by them, for in them do we have the

secret to aging gracefully.

            It’s amazing that many people give more attention to their

bodily and worldly condition than to their spiritual status. The

former can only have a transitory or at best an instrumental

character. The latter is what can make us young and vibrant always,

which is what aging gracefully is all about.

            No amount of cosmetics and make-overs can constitute the

ideal of aging gracefully. No, not even the Zumbas and other physical

exercises, or any medical and surgical intervention. At best, they can

give a temporary appearance of youthfulness. But sooner or later,

these cannot prevent the deterioration and loss of vitality. They can

never replace what the spirit can do for us.

            I remember St. John Paul in his dying days. Physically, he

was already quite a wreck. He was bent, his speech was slurred,

tremors were in his hands, saliva dripped uncontrollably from his

lips. But his mind was alert and keen till his last breath which he

made with such calmness and serenity.

            That is the classic example of aging and dying gracefully,

a reflection of how Christ himself met his death that led to his

resurrection! This kind of aging and dying welcomes old age and death

itself without fear and hesitation, convinced of where real life and

eternal youthfulness lie.

            When we take care of our spiritual life, hitching it with

the Spirit of God himself, then we can enjoy all the gifts and fruits

of the Holy Spirit. Imagine a person who, in his old age, possesses

true wisdom, knowledge, etc. It’s difficult to imagine him other than

being youthful, vibrant, confident, cheerful, full of love, kindness,

patience, meekness, etc.

            One psalm can somehow describe the secret to aging

gracefully and keeping the spirit youthful. “I (a young person) am

even wiser than my elders, for I have kept your (God’s) commandments.”

(119,100)

            There we have it!

Both sender and sent

SINCE we have been created in the image and likeness of

God, we have to see to it that we reflect in our life the very life of

God who is one yet three persons. The dynamics of that divine

Trinitarian life has to drive our life here on earth also.

            One consideration we can make to help us attain that ideal

is to realize that in the Trinity, it is the Father who continually

sends the Son and the Holy Spirit to us. In other words, in that

Trinitarian life, there is a perpetual dynamics of sending and being

sent.

            This is what the Compendium of the Catechism of the

Catholic Church tells us. “From the very beginning until the end of

time, when the Father sends his Son he also sends his Spirit who

unites us to Christ in faith so that as adopted sons we can call God

“Father” (Romans 8:15). (137)

            This is also what we should try to have in our life here

on earth. We have to send ourselves always to others—first, to God,

and then to all the others. Like in the Trinitarian life, we should

always be doing the process of sending and being sent, that is, both

the sender and the sent.

            So, to those of us who wonder how we can develop a

relationship with God that is attentive to his Trinitarian life and

activity, the idea of sending and being sent can be most helpful to

us.

            Like the Father, we should always be doing the act of

sending. In other words, we cannot be just self-enclosed, unmindful of

the others. We have to reach out. We need to send something. In this

case, of course, what we send is actually not just something but our

own selves, just like the Father sending his own Son and the Spirit to

us. We have to send the best of ourselves.

             Like the Son, we have to be willing to be sent in a way that is most

faithful to the sender and his will. Since the Son is the perfect

bridge between God and us, that is, one that reaches both ends, God

and us, and not just coming from one end and goes to the other but

without reaching it, we should also see to it that we, as sent, have

to come from God, reveal everything that God has meant for us to the

others.

             In other words, like the Son who is sent by the Father, we also have

to be a most faithful ambassador and the best image and message of the

sender. We should try to live out what Christ told his apostles:

“Whoever listens to you listens to me; whoever rejects you rejects me;

but whoever rejects me rejects him who sent me." (Lk 10,16)

             Like the Son, we have to be the pattern of how all of us should be,

always giving good example to others.

             Like the Holy Spirit, we should be continually renewing ourselves,

reminding one and all about everything the Son is to us--the pattern

of our humanity and redeemer of our damaged humanity.

             This we can do if we continually pray, have recourse to the

sacraments, study the doctrine of our faith, making sacrifices, wage

ascetical struggle, and do a lot of apostolate.

             In this way, we can already reflect the Trinitarian life in ourselves!

Let’s be cheerful givers

LET’S be cheerful givers as much as we can, because

according to St. Paul, God loves them. In whatever we do or give, we

should do so without sadness or compulsion, he said. (cfr  2 Cor

9,6-7) Things have to be done freely. “Freely you have received,

freely you have to give,” Christ said. (Mt 10,8)

            We have to learn to be generous and to give not only

things but our very own selves as gifts to others. St. Paul reassures

us that if we sow sparingly we will also reap sparingly. But if we sow

bountifully, we will also reap bountifully.

            This logic echoes what Christ himself said: “Give, and it

will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together

and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure

you use, it will be measured to you.” (Lk 6,38)

            And again, “Everyone who has left houses or brothers or

sisters or father or mother or wife or children or fields for my sake

will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life.”

(Mt 19,29)

            Let’s not be afraid to give ourselves to others as

generously as possible, without counting the cost. God cannot be

outdone in generosity, one saint said, with the abundant spiritual

fruit of his work as proof to that assertion.

            And let’s be generous without expecting any return for

others, not even some acknowledgment from them. Christ himself

practically told this to us when he said: “Take care not to perform

your righteous deeds in order that people may see them. Otherwise, you

will have no recompense from your heavenly Father.” (Mt 6,1)

            That’s right. We have to learn how to pass unnoticed while

doing a lot of good. We have to do battle with the present obsession

many people have of wanting to be seen and praised and honored.

            This will help us to have purity of intention in our good

deeds and to avoid being corrupted by worldly allurements. This will

help us to stay focused on our eternal destination which is heaven and

to avoid getting stranded in some worldly thing or place.

            When we are cheerful in our self-giving, it can only mean

that we are doing things really out of love for God and for others.

And we can have focus, eagerness and perseverance in the performance

of good things.

            This does not mean that we would avoid suffering

completely. We will always have it one way or another. But when we are

cheerful, we will always get some measure of relief. The awareness

itself that we are doing things out of love for God and for others

will always have a way of filling our heart with joy and peace.

            This generous and cheerful spirit does not contradict the

requirements of prudence, understood as prudence of the spirit and not

prudence of the flesh or worldly prudence.

            Though we may appear to be a failure according to worldly

standards, let’s be convinced that being a cheerful giver as

envisioned by St. Paul is worth all the effort.