Forever

BEFORE this eminent word, Forever, is trivialized and
corrupted by our ‘telenovela’ culture, we need to remind ourselves
that the word is not simply a word but rather a sublime reality meant
for us who are of a spiritual nature also, and therefore, equipped for
a life that is forever. Besides, our dignity as image and likeness of
God and children of his makes our life in the forever an essential
part of our being.

            Our soul, being spiritual, can defy the wear and tear of
our material world and can transcend its limitations. And as image and
likeness of God and children of his, we can expect his grace that
would make the possibility of forever for us to be actualized. That’s
why we can claim that we are meant for forever, for eternity.

            All these assertions somehow have their basis on the words
of St. John in his first letter: “The world and its enticement are
passing away. But whoever does the will of God remains forever.”
(2,17) Here we are told the secret of how to “remain forever.”

            We need to be wary of loving the world in the wrong way.
We are supposed to love the world, because it is where God has placed
us and it is also a creation of God and therefore is good.

            But we would love it in the wrong way when we make it our
own god, the be-all and end-all of our life. Yes, we are in the world,
so we are supposed to love it in a certain way, but we are not
supposed to be worldly.

            Again in that first letter of St. John, we are told of
what the world contains that can lead us away from God, the source of
all good things. “Do not love the world or the things of the world. If
anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all
that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes
and the pride of life, is not of the Father but is of the world.”
(2,15-16)

            Thus, a certain detachment from the things of the world
has always been advised and encouraged in us. This is the very essence
of what is known as Christian poverty. It’s an emptying of the heart
of earthly things to fill it only with God and the things of God.

            Yes, we have to love the world, but in the way God loves
it and not just any kind of love. In the gospel of St. John, we have
these words that corroborate this point: “For God so loved the world,
as to give his only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in him, may
not perish, but may have life everlasting.” (3,16)

            We have to learn how to refer to God the world, where we
have been placed, and the things of the world, which we have to
handle. We have to understand that the world has an inherent objective
relation to God and to us that we need to discover, appreciate and
make use of.

            If we understand this point right, then the world would
not be obstacle to us in our duty to find and love God and others. The
world and everything in it, whether good or bad, would be a good
instrument or occasion to develop our love for God and others. The
world and everything in it would be the means to bring us to our
forever, to our eternal life.

            We just have to learn how to purify the things that ought
to be purifed, to suffer all the pains and sorrows that are
unavoidable in it, and to offer everything for the glory of God and
the good of all. As to the good things that we enjoy in the world,
let’s always be thankful and ever thoughtful of how to use them
properly.

            The crucial point is that we do the will of God with whom
we are supposed to live our life here on earth. “Whoever does the will
of God remains forever,” remember? And God’s will is not difficult to
find out. We have his commandments and his teachings.

            And the ordinary duties and responsibilities of our state
in life already comprise the main bulk of what God’s will is for us.
If we fulfill them faithfully everyday, then we will get to know more
of that will in its finer points as well as in its big dimensions. In
this way can forever be already savored here and now.

The Holy Family and our families

WITH the recent celebration of the Solemnity of the Holy
Family, we are reminded that our families should be patterned after
the one of Jesus, Mary and Joseph where not only the natural and
material aspects of the family are attended to, but also and more
importantly, the supernatural and spiritual aspects.

            It’s time that we seriously consider this important angle
whenever we talk about the family, never regarding it as something
optional, but rather necessary although always to be understood as
something to be freely accepted, not imposed.

            Yes, the family has to be seen more in its spiritual and
supernatural character, from its foundation to its goal, than merely
in its material and natural facets. Since persons are concerned, the
human family cannot help but be endowed also with spiritual and
supernatural dimensions.

            Let’s remember that we can never outgrow the need for the
family, no matter how old, mature and independent we can be. Even
those who lead a prominently spiritual and celibate life need it.

            It’s a requirement of our nature, given by God and not by
some human consensus. The family is a divine creation, before it is a
human institution.

            That is why we don’t talk only of making the family
materially well-conditioned. It has to be spiritually healthy and
vibrant where faith, piety, virtues, charity, compassion, mercy, etc.
take precedence over our material needs for food, shelter, clothing,
etc.

            Thus, in one of the readings of the Solemnity, we are told
to “put on, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, heartfelt
compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience, bearing with
one another and forgiving one another…” (Col 3,12-13)

            This fundamental understanding and attitude toward the
family is now increasingly crucial as we are facing more tricky and
complicated challenges and trials that affect the family.

            We see rising cases of dysfunctional families, with
marriages defaced by infidelities and unrenewed love and a sense of
commitment unable to “Reset” or “Reboot” when needed, neglect of
children, family life reduced to a minimum, etc.

            Recognizing the crisis, the Vatican last year convoked a
synod of bishops to discuss certain issues regarding the family.

            In its working paper, called Lineamenta, the bishops were
asked to highlight “the need for mercy in responding to difficult
situations—even asking the bishops to avoid basing their pastoral care
solely on current Catholic doctrine.”

            In other words, the bishops were prodded to find other and
newer ways of dealing with the often ugly situations of the family in
the world today, even as fidelity to Christ’s moral teachings has to
be protected.

            I remember that the synod stirred up a hornet’s nest that
indicated that the issues were indeed complicated. They required a lot
of prayers, sacrifice, study, consultation, etc., since the demands of
fidelity to the moral doctrine of Christ has to contend with the need
for growth and adaptation of the same faith to the stark realities on
the ground.

            Of course, this effort to find newer but faithful ways of
dealing with difficult family issues has to start with empowering the
family, especially the parents, so that it can fulfill all its duties
and responsibilities, especially the most basic ones that are related
more than anything else, to the spiritual life of all members in the
family. This effort cannot do away with this basic necessity of the
family.

            This, of course, is not going to be an easy job. We are
aware of the many inadequacies that families now have as well as the
increasing dangerous influences and conditionings that they are
exposed to. But that’s the challenge we just have to face and learn to
resolve.

            Obviously parents, especially the young ones and those
whose formation may not have been good, need a lot of help. Catechesis
for them is necessary, but a lot more are needed. It’s good that there
are groups organized by the churches and some private institutions
that try to meet this need, but more groups are needed.

            Parents should be encouraged to teach catechism to their
children in ways that would come out natural. They have to learn how
to discern the spiritual development of their children, like how their
children are thinking, desiring, working, or how they are acquiring
virtues, developing concern for others, handling difficulties,  or
appreciating the need for prayers, sacrifice, sacraments, etc.

            What can help is for parents to consecrate their families
to the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph, for it’s there where
they aspire to get the necessary guidance for the development of their
own families.

The dangers of being correct

THE dangers of being wrong about something are quite
obvious. We don’t have to waste time about that, though we have to
remember that even in our mistakes and failures, something good can
always come out if we just open ourselves to the ever wise and
omnipotent providence of God.

            The perfect example of this case would be St. Paul who in
the middle of his persecution campaign against the early Christians
had his most extraordinary conversion, and later became one of the
most zealous apostles of Christ. From an intense hater of Christians,
he became their most fiery lover and defender.

            It’s rather the dangers of being right and correct that we
need to expose, because they are more subtle and beguiling, and
therefore harder to recognize and to avoid.

            What brought this thought to mind was when other day a
bunch of small Grade 1 girls in the school where I work approached me.
They were quarreling over something which I don’t remember now. But
what struck my attention was that each one was citing what her mother
or father or lola or teacher said to justify what they said or did.

            I was actually amused more than anything else to see their
little drama. Each one wanted to prove that she was right, and that,
to me, was the real problem. No one wanted to be wrong, or to admit
that the others also have a point even if their views were different
and even contrary to that of each one of them.

            And the thought came to me that what these little girls
were doing is actually what is also taking place among much older
people who ought to know much better. The latter can go through a lot
of bashings and mudslingings, invoking all sorts of principles that
they consider infallible, universal and absolute in scope.

            Among the dangers of thinking that one is right in
something is that he tends to become closed-minded and rigid. He finds
it hard to consider the views of others, especially if they are
different from his. He can get obsessive with an idea, a perfectionist
sans charity.

            With these dangers, it would be highly probable that one
can become impatient, uncharitable, intolerant. He can end up always
irritable and uptight. It would not be long before he isolates himself
from others, and develops all kinds of eccentricities—what we usually
describe as weird or strange.

            Since he is prone to be judgmental, he is quick to brand
and stereotype people and events, lazy to go any deeper in his
knowledge of people and things, and so he can end up being simplistic.

            What would worsen this is when he thinks he is always
right and there’s nothing that can prove him wrong. The
self-righteousness then becomes firm and even invincible. But there’s
a certain bitterness that eats him. What drives him is not love but
more of hatred, envy, insecurity.

            The funny thing about all this is that this kind of
attitude, mindset and lifestyle can be shared by a good number of
people. It can become first as a subculture, and later on if not
corrected, it can become a dominant and prevailing culture of the
people.

            There can be an apparent unity, more of a façade really,
with hardly any genuine substance inside, But what they can have in
common are mere show-offs of arrogance, pride, vanity and mutual
envies.

            We have to be ready to do battle against these dangers.
While it’s always good to be right, we have to make sure where that
righteousness would come from. If it’s not based on God who is love
with a love that was shown to us concretely in Christ, whatever
goodness or righteousness we claim would always be suspicious, at
best.

            The righteousness that comes from God will always be
open-minded, eager to listen and dialogue with everyone and to adapt
to any situation. It is willing to be patient and to suffer when
contradicted even as it proclaims and defends itself in season and out
of season. It would know when to speak and when to keep quiet.

            In our current political exchanges, it would be nice to
remember these dangers of being right and to be guarded against them.
It would be nice if we learn how to be charitable in our arguments,
avoiding insults. ad hominems, non-sequiturs and all kinds of
fallacies, sarcasm and ironies. This can only be the right way to
arrive at a most fair appreciation of issues and personalities.

            Let’s hope we can be mature and not childish in our discussions.