PWD

THAT’S “persons with disability” or “people with
disabilities.” We have to distinguish their many kinds if only to
better know how to care for them. This is part of the new sensitivity
we should develop as the world becomes more complex each day.

            Remember that St. Paul once told us that we “bear one
another’s burdens,” for that is how we “fulfil the law of Christ.”
(Gal 6,2) Even more, he tells us that we should always consider others
better than us—yes, including those with disabilities, since according
to him, this was the mind of Christ. (cfr. Phil 2,3-5)

            The kinds of disabilities can come in different
combinations or forms and in varying degrees. One type usually brings
in the other types. And so, we just have to be more discerning and
more skilful in dealing with them in their concrete condition.

            The more common type are those with physical
disabilities—the blind, lame, mute and those with other bodily
deformities. These persons are easy to identify and relatively easier
to handle.

            Basically what is needed is to give them facilities that
are more material than spiritual, more tangible than
intangible—wheelchairs, crutches, guide or care-giver, ramps,
elevators, etc.

            The more difficult ones are those with mental and
emotional disabilities. More specialized skills are needed. And while
some medicine is used, what is more necessary is greater human
interaction. They require more attention. And the therapy is longer
and more complicated.

            The most difficult ones are those who can be described as
persons with attitudinal disabilities. They can look normal, but they
actually are not. Nowadays, some people are even promoting the culture
of “having an attitude,” as a way to create an impact on society.

            We need to be most prepared to deal with these people.
First, because they now are far more than those with other
disabilities, and worse, they are not easily identifiable. Second,
because they are really more difficult and more challenging to deal
with.

            We cannot be naive in the face of this growing phenomenon
around us. We have to have to proper dispositions, and better, also to
have the appropriate skills in dealing with them.

            They normally do not admit there’s something wrong with
them. But they definitely have a wrong attitude or outlook toward
life. Even with the most elementary indicators and criteria, they
would already fail.

            They are proud, haughty, self-centered, self-righteous,
judgmental, lazy, indifferent, greedy, sensual, etc. And if they are
not of the OC type (obsessive-compulsive), they would be in the other
extreme—apathetic, pessimistic, prone to fall into self-pity, and
feeling as if the whole world is against them.

            St. Paul already described them in his Letter to the
Romans. They are “detractors, hateful to God, contumelious, proud,
haughty, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, foolish,
dissolute, without affection, without fidelity, without mercy.”
(1,29-30)

            They have a very restrictive and subjective concept of
what is right and wrong, what is good and bad, moral and immoral.
These would often be determined according to their own criteria of
convenience and other terms of self-interest.

            Faith, religion, piety, virtues and things like these have
practically no place in their world-view. If some tribute is given to
these values, it is merely out of formalism or because they cannot
escape having to go through some lip-service that is clearly devoid of
substance.

            We have to be ready for these persons. We should always be
hopeful and eager to go through the rigor of dealing with them as much
as possible with a lot of naturalness, and even poise and elegance.

            The first thing we have to do is to use the supernatural
means. We have to pray a lot for them, offer sacrifices and develop a
healthy apostolic attitude toward them. Instead of fleeing from them,
we should rather go to them and develop and deepen friendship with
them.

            Yes, we also need to develop virtues, like patience,
fortitude, creativity and generosity. A certain insensitivity is
welcome in the sense of not being too sensitive to all the forms of
inconveniences and contradictions that they are likely to cause.

            When dealing with persons with disabilities, we normally
would be most understanding and compassionate. If we readily are like
this with respect to those with physical disabilities, we should be
more so with those of have emotional, psychological and, worse,
attitudinal disabilities.

            This would be charity in its finest forms, a concrete and
proximate participation of the charity of Christ toward us as
expressed in his crucifixion and death. God and goodness will always
prevail.

Wedding anniversaries

IT’S always a cause for joy when a couple decides to
celebrate their wedding anniversary and asks for a renewal of their
marriage vows in the Holy Mass. I find that gesture very meaningful.
Definitely it goes beyond mere social expectations, since there is
actually no obligation for them to do that. Besides, the whole affair
usually entails a lot of inconveniences.

            It must be more because they know they have lived their
marriage as best as they could. And even if there had been many trials
and difficulties, and even mistakes and failures, they managed to go
through it all in a way that is not just a matter of luck but more a
matter of reliance on God’s grace and many blessings, as well as faith
in their own powers.

            Every time I have the chance to take part in these
celebrations, I always see the couples very thankful to God and to
many others who may have helped them in some way. I don’t think they
do it to show off. When they again say their “I do’s,” I can’t help
but notice the tone of greater sincerity, meaningfulness and
fulfillment.

            I don’t think they feel like they are mere survivors of a
long plight of suffering, though suffering they must have experienced
quite a lot. They look more like beaming victors who feel blessed and
privileged to have gone through the drama of married and family life
with their love not only intact, but rather growing and prospering.

            As they look back on their years of marriage, they must
feel how they have proven the veracity of their commitment “to have
and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer,
for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.”

            Through those years, they must have raised children and
faced the complex and complicated responsibility of bringing them up,
educating and forming them into mature persons and Christians. They
must have faced all kinds of tests ranging from the physical to the
spiritual and moral, from the financial to the emotional.

            Through it all, they have managed to remain firm to their
commitment and must have experienced first-hand the wonders of God’s
grace working in them, to which they also much have tried to
correspond as faithfully as possible. They must have been convinced
that the whole thing is more the making of God than theirs. All they
did was simply to remain faithful in spite of whatever.

            Yes, there could have been mistakes, failures and lack of
correspondence, but in the end, they managed to go past them, even
making them the concrete occasions to develop virtues and other
qualities that have been missing in the beginning of their married
life.

            I usually ask the couples why they decided to celebrate
their anniversary with a renewal of their marriage vows in the Holy
Mass, and I also usually get a good, earnest and spontaneous answer.
“All this comes from God,” is their more or less standard reply.

            This is true, and is worth spreading around. It’s the good
news that should warm the hearts of couples already married or
planning to do so. Marriage is a matter of faith more than anything
else.

            When its authentic nature and intrinsic laws are respected
and followed, you can be sure that the grace of God will always be
there to give light, strength and support. What is wanting, wounded or
damaged in our human efforts to stay married is supplemented or
completed, healed and repaired.

            More than that, if lived according to God’s designs for
it, marriage can be a sure way to heaven, a great provider of
sanctity, aside from being an effective means to foster human maturity
and social progress and development.

            This is because marriage is a reflection and participation
of nothing less than Christ’s love for his all of us, the people and
children of God. It’s guaranteed not to fail. It is a powerful
generator of goodness in the world.

            We need to spread the gospel of marriage more vigorously,
to counter forces than tend to undermine and openly contradict its
true nature and laws, obviously with expected and matching
consequences.

            Let’s hope that those who have gone through married life
already for such a period as to celebrate their silver, ruby, golden
or diamond anniversaries should take active part in proclaiming,
promoting and defending marriage as it should be.

            The world is in great need of living witnesses who attest
to the true beauty of marriage.

Examples and models

CONTRARY to the thinking of many people, we are actually
meant to always give good example and be models of virtues to others,
taking advantage of whatever platforms and pedestals are available to
us. And with our new technologies, we have very powerful platforms and
pedestals to spread goodness around.

            Since we are not only individual persons but also social
beings, always having some relation with others, we cannot avoid
having this duty. It’s actually part of our DNA.

            We are not meant to be alone, indifferent and detached
from others, and especially from God. We are meant to live in
communion with others and pumping goodness always to the system, so to
speak.

            That’s why Christ expresses it to us very clearly. “You
are the light of the world…Your light must shine before others, that
they may see your good deeds. (Mt 5, 15-16)

            We therefore should not be afraid to be in the limelight.
In fact, we have to foster a holy desire to be there. Our
understanding of humility and that delicadeza of passing unnoticed
should not exclude this need for us to give good example and be models
of virtues for everyone to see and to hopefully be edified.

            As Christ himself says, “A city set on a mountain cannot
be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and then put it under a bushel
basket. It is set on a lampstand, where it gives light to all in the
house.” (Mt 5,15)

            Obviously we have to do it properly and with the right
intention. And that’s because we also are not lacking of people
wanting to be in the limelight for the wrong reasons. They are there
to show off their vanity and frivolity, and to act out their pride,
greed, envy, etc. Instead of sowing good things, they are spreading
their unfortunate motives to others.

            Thus, Christ says, “Your light must shine before others,
that they may see your good deeds and glorify your heavenly Father.”
(Mt 5,16) It should always be God who is the motive, pattern and end
for any effort of ours to give example and be models to others.
Nothing should replace God in this.

            Reiterating the same idea, Christ in another part of the
gospel tells us to be so identified with God through him in the Holy
Spirit that anyone who sees and hears us can see and hear God also.
This is a point on which to examine ourselves constantly.

            This is actually how things should be. We are nothing
without him. We should be ashamed to simply show ourselves off,
regardless of how gifted we are intellectually or physically. Sad to
say, we have a glut of these cases around.

            In this regard, we have to be most wary of a very subtle
danger than can sneak into us, no doubt a very insidious trick of the
devil who is always bent to mislead us. This is when in our holy
desire to be a good example and model to others, we fall into a spirit
of triumphalism, a holier-than-thou attitude, and a self-righteous
outlook.

            This happens when we become unduly intolerant and
impatient with others when we see their defects and mistakes, when we
are full of rash judgments and reckless comments and reactions, when
we develop such an abiding sense of superiority over others that we
would always look down on them, or compare them with us endlessly..

            A person who is truly with God understands more than gets
irritated when he sees the defects and mistakes of others. Like God,
he would be slow to anger and quick to forgive. He does not keep
grudges or resentment towards anyone. If he has to take note of the
mistakes, it is for the sake of prudence and of helping, and not
anything else.

            He is always aware that the defects and mistakes others
have and commit could also be his. He knows he, like anybody else, has
feet of clay, and therefore is always on guard and understanding
towards others.

            He would always remember that it is practically because of
the sins of men that God became men and went through the complicated
process of saving us. And so he reflects this attitude in his actions.

            This person would know how to be noticed by others without
grabbing attention and credit to himself. When people praise and thank
him, he automatically transmits these to God to whom they duly belong.
But he would continue to give good example and be models of virtues to
others.