IT’S a basic rule in public speaking that the speaker should keep eye contact with his audience to establish connection. Otherwise, no matter how brilliant the speech or talk may be, without this contact, the attention of the audience would likely stray.
Obviously, this concern for contact is not and should not be an exclusive responsibility of the speaker. The audience also has to do their part, because no matter how the speaker strains to keep contact with them, if they don’t do their part, the communication process would fail.
In my effort, for example, to train some students in my school to be readers at Mass, this is what I emphasize. I practice them minutes before the start, and with that I was led to discover certain practical details.
Among these discoveries is the realization that readers should try to internalize the words they are supposed to read. I tell them, it is God’s word. Then I ask them, what would you feel, and how would you think you should read it in proclamation when you deeply realize it is God’s word meant to nourish people’s soul?
Of course, I have to give them many background information about the verses, and I encourage them to meditate on them, so that they can internalize them and would have a good idea of how to say them—what pace, intonation, volume, etc. they should have.
Obviously, this requirement is an ongoing affair. It’s not a one-shot deal, nor just a modular affair. Like it or not, it invites those concerned to deepen their theology, and even more, their spiritual life.
Their heart should be attuned to what they are saying or reading. The speakers or readers should know the meaning of the words, always aware of whose words they are, and to whom they are addressed, etc.
It’s this running consciousness of these data that would help the speakers or readers to behave properly during the delivery. With these items taken care of, it would be easy for them to do those glances at the audience. Those glances become natural, meaningful and felt. They become convincing.
It’s when readers just mouth the words, with no heart and soul to them, that the eye contact that they try to do would feel fake and artificial. The delivery becomes mechanical and hollow. Worse, everyone would notice it, though out of civility, they may just keep quiet about it.
And so, everyone has to realize that it’s not just a matter of eye contact. That eye contact that is so fundamental in public speaking should spring and be accompanied always by heart contact, that is, a heart-to-heart contact with the audience.
Speakers and readers should cultivate the skill of entering the hearts of those in the audience. This is not easy, of course. But it can be done if one has the right attitude and disposition.
We need to be humble to be observant and to register things as objectively as possible. Besides, we often commit mistakes, and if we are not humble, then we cannot progress. With pride, we get stuck at a certain point.
We need to be truly interested in the people, ever widening our heart to accommodate the tremendous variety of personalities, characters, cultures, etc., we can find in the field. For this, we have to cultivate a certain kind of discernment that allows us to penetrate into the hearts of people, without getting stuck in the externals.
The mind should be broadened. Social graces should be polished. Thus, I was a bit disappointed when in a recent visit to a seminary, I found the seminarians and even some of the priests significantly lacking in these social skills. How can they become effective preachers if they are like that, I asked myself?
There is no short-cut to this goal. It has to be pursued not only when one prepares to give a speech. It is an all-time affair, an abiding love affair with the people. Otherwise, the artificiality of the delivery will just show.
A certain kind of inner hunger for God and for souls should be developed. And for this, nothing less than the grace of God is needed. On our part, what is needed is that we pray, asking for this gift, so that in the midst of our earthly affairs, we wouldn’t fail to enter the spiritual life of the people.
All this business of eye and heart contact, of effective communication, is just an aspect of a deeper reality, which is communion.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Monday, September 20, 2010
Call to Christian realism
“The master commended that dishonest steward for acting prudently. For the children of this world are more prudent in dealing with their own generation than are the children of light…Make friends for yourselves with dishonest wealth…”
Truly an intriguing statement of our Lord. Does he want us to cheat, to be dishonest, to be a crook? I don’t think so. In that same gospel, he also said, “You cannot serve both God and mammon.”
If we analyze his words more closely, what we can conclude is that we ought to be realistic in dealing with the imperfections of our human condition. He is calling for prudence, a certain shrewdness, an unrelenting effort that does not surrender to defeatism, complacency, despair.
That’s why he said, “Be simple as doves but shrewd as serpents.”
Our Lord himself lived what he is teaching us now in this particular case. Being God in whom nothing is impossible, he allowed himself to have a flawed human genealogy, he submitted to the many limitations of the wounded human nature, he consorted with sinners, he let all the sins of men to fall on him.
But he followed his Father’s will to the end, to his death on the cross. “I do no other than fulfill the will of my Father.” And with that, he achieved what he came here for—the reconciliation of fallen man with his Father God.
We have to be careful not to fall into a false idealism full of self-righteousness as we pursue the goals of goodness in all its forms in our life. We have to warn ourselves of this very likely possibility, and learn to be skilful in handling it properly.
We should never forget that even as we develop not only materially and externally but also spiritually and internally, we still live in a very imperfect world, where evil predominate. Our growth in Christian perfection should not lead us to ghettoes and ivory towers, but should ground us more in both heaven and earth.
How often have I heard so-called good people complaining how much more suffer since they decided to take their spiritual life more seriously. I have to remind them of a basic point they are missing.
Our progress in goodness, if authentically based on God, should develop in us both greater sensitivity and longer patience. Our growth in holiness should not blind us nor make us intolerant to the world’s imperfections. It should rather make us see and suffer more, and do more to solve these anomalies.
A true man of God is always compassionate, not critical. He is flexible, not rigid. He is “slow to anger and quick to forgive.” He is always hopeful and cheerful, not desperate and sad. He knows how to combine tolerance with intolerance, justice and mercy, etc.
But he cannot ignore the imperfections in this world. They are rampant everywhere—in business, politics, entertainment. Have you tried dealing with some government agencies? There you will see these imperfections institutionalized.
I remember when I had to secure my driver’s license sometime ago. I felt I was thrown to the dogs, made to survive in the Amazons. The place was like a snake pit. There was disorder and chaos galore. Everyone had his fixer, who was not from outside but rather inside the office.
The office was a mess, with damaged benches, aircon units not working. I was made to go there twice because the computers went offline. The last straw that broke my patience was when in spite of all that I had to endure—the eternal waiting, the lecture, etc.—my name was not called for the exam.
Instead, other people were called whose faces I did not see in the long wait and lecture. I had to complain, and that’s when they corrected themselves. Later on, someone told me everyone else, except me, paid a “package deal,” to facilitate their application even without appearing. And so, my name was always at the bottom.
It took me sometime to be Christian again about the whole experience. Next time that I need to visit such agency, I really have to go through a kind of pre-Olympic preparation, physically and spiritually.
But there were some saving graces, thanks be to God. Everyone, except for an old cranky woman worker in that office, was smiling and tried to be nice, even while they were doing their under-the-table deals.
Well, this is one clear example of our damaged human condition which we have to learn to live with Christian realism.
Truly an intriguing statement of our Lord. Does he want us to cheat, to be dishonest, to be a crook? I don’t think so. In that same gospel, he also said, “You cannot serve both God and mammon.”
If we analyze his words more closely, what we can conclude is that we ought to be realistic in dealing with the imperfections of our human condition. He is calling for prudence, a certain shrewdness, an unrelenting effort that does not surrender to defeatism, complacency, despair.
That’s why he said, “Be simple as doves but shrewd as serpents.”
Our Lord himself lived what he is teaching us now in this particular case. Being God in whom nothing is impossible, he allowed himself to have a flawed human genealogy, he submitted to the many limitations of the wounded human nature, he consorted with sinners, he let all the sins of men to fall on him.
But he followed his Father’s will to the end, to his death on the cross. “I do no other than fulfill the will of my Father.” And with that, he achieved what he came here for—the reconciliation of fallen man with his Father God.
We have to be careful not to fall into a false idealism full of self-righteousness as we pursue the goals of goodness in all its forms in our life. We have to warn ourselves of this very likely possibility, and learn to be skilful in handling it properly.
We should never forget that even as we develop not only materially and externally but also spiritually and internally, we still live in a very imperfect world, where evil predominate. Our growth in Christian perfection should not lead us to ghettoes and ivory towers, but should ground us more in both heaven and earth.
How often have I heard so-called good people complaining how much more suffer since they decided to take their spiritual life more seriously. I have to remind them of a basic point they are missing.
Our progress in goodness, if authentically based on God, should develop in us both greater sensitivity and longer patience. Our growth in holiness should not blind us nor make us intolerant to the world’s imperfections. It should rather make us see and suffer more, and do more to solve these anomalies.
A true man of God is always compassionate, not critical. He is flexible, not rigid. He is “slow to anger and quick to forgive.” He is always hopeful and cheerful, not desperate and sad. He knows how to combine tolerance with intolerance, justice and mercy, etc.
But he cannot ignore the imperfections in this world. They are rampant everywhere—in business, politics, entertainment. Have you tried dealing with some government agencies? There you will see these imperfections institutionalized.
I remember when I had to secure my driver’s license sometime ago. I felt I was thrown to the dogs, made to survive in the Amazons. The place was like a snake pit. There was disorder and chaos galore. Everyone had his fixer, who was not from outside but rather inside the office.
The office was a mess, with damaged benches, aircon units not working. I was made to go there twice because the computers went offline. The last straw that broke my patience was when in spite of all that I had to endure—the eternal waiting, the lecture, etc.—my name was not called for the exam.
Instead, other people were called whose faces I did not see in the long wait and lecture. I had to complain, and that’s when they corrected themselves. Later on, someone told me everyone else, except me, paid a “package deal,” to facilitate their application even without appearing. And so, my name was always at the bottom.
It took me sometime to be Christian again about the whole experience. Next time that I need to visit such agency, I really have to go through a kind of pre-Olympic preparation, physically and spiritually.
But there were some saving graces, thanks be to God. Everyone, except for an old cranky woman worker in that office, was smiling and tried to be nice, even while they were doing their under-the-table deals.
Well, this is one clear example of our damaged human condition which we have to learn to live with Christian realism.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Culture of maintenance
WE need to be careful not to restrict the relevance of maintenance to health reasons. The duty of maintenance has a much wider applicability in our life than is usually known or admitted. In fact, it’s a lifelong responsibility.
We have to say this, because somehow it has become a term associated only with the oldies, and even with some young ones, who have some medical conditions—hypertension, diabetes, etc. This is a very unfair, partial and dangerous understanding of maintenance.
For example, maintenance is indispensable in the proper running of an entity or institution. How many times have we heard—and have been disappointed—that a certain project that had a brilliant beginning folded up precisely because of lack of maintenance?
This example can be multiplied endless times. Roads, bridges, buildings are rotting away because of lack of maintenance. A business enterprise gets bankrupt again because of negligence. Public services are found wanting also because of lack of good governance.
Even religious institutions are not spared. Some are fading away, their original charism weakened, because of lack of fidelity of the members. They have detached themselves from the source of their life, purpose and direction.
It’s important that we cultivate a strong, clearly articulated culture of maintenance and governance, continuity and fidelity, so that we don’t waste what we already have. In fact, we have to make use of them, cultivating them in an organic way, in our pursuit for progress and development.
We have to understand that this culture of maintenance is an expression of our cooperation in God’s abiding providence over us and everything that happens in the world.
Divine providence, which is God’s governance over his creation, always requires our active cooperation. It never means we can be passive about things. God governs through us, who are his image and likeness, children of his who participate in his very own life and work.
And so, we have to realize that this culture’s real foundation can ultimately be in the area of religion, in our relation with God. It cannot simply be anchored on purely human reasons—personal, social, economic, political, etc.
While these human reasons are unavoidable, we have to understand that they cannot stand on their own without being rooted on a deeper foundation, which can only be God.
All this concern about maintenance, governance, administration, continuity and fidelity need the animating principle of God, the beginning and end of all things, the Creator, the eternal being who is also a father to us who never lets us down.
We have to be wary of a secular, worldly view about what can motivate and keep us in the duty of maintenance. It can have very many convincing arguments, but the moment it sets God aside, giving him, at best, only a decorative role, we would be in the wrong track.
When a genuine living relation with God is achieved, our awareness of our duty of maintenance, continuity and fidelity acquires its most fundamental and reliable source and lifeblood.
It makes us keenly aware of the many aspects and requirements of this duty, capable of making long-term plans and strategies as well as flexible to cope with changing and unexpected circumstances. It tries its best to avoid a short-sighted vision of things and other stop-gap measures and knee-jerk reactions.
In short, we would be doing all the tasks of maintenance out of pure love for God and for souls. The virtue of prudence will be lived to the hilt
The duty of maintenance then becomes an exciting adventure, with all the possible situations that can happen. But there’s confidence and sense of security among those involved.
With that love, we would be willing to go all the way, not afraid of sacrifices to be made, effort and expenses to be spent, etc. If corrections are needed, then they are done, irrespective of who gets hurt.
The problem is that many of us still find it corny to put God and love in this equation. We prefer to remain in the humanly advantageous level—what is profitable, practical, popular, etc. This only shows lack of faith, or a faith not well digested and assimilated.
With this attitude, we immediately narrow and impoverish our idea of maintenance and governance. And sooner or later, we get what we deserve—troubles, failures, disappointments, termination, etc.
It’s important that we cultivate and spread this culture of maintenance far and wide. Its rudiments can be done in the families, in schools, churches. Then it can influence our neighborhood, our cities and the government.
We have to say this, because somehow it has become a term associated only with the oldies, and even with some young ones, who have some medical conditions—hypertension, diabetes, etc. This is a very unfair, partial and dangerous understanding of maintenance.
For example, maintenance is indispensable in the proper running of an entity or institution. How many times have we heard—and have been disappointed—that a certain project that had a brilliant beginning folded up precisely because of lack of maintenance?
This example can be multiplied endless times. Roads, bridges, buildings are rotting away because of lack of maintenance. A business enterprise gets bankrupt again because of negligence. Public services are found wanting also because of lack of good governance.
Even religious institutions are not spared. Some are fading away, their original charism weakened, because of lack of fidelity of the members. They have detached themselves from the source of their life, purpose and direction.
It’s important that we cultivate a strong, clearly articulated culture of maintenance and governance, continuity and fidelity, so that we don’t waste what we already have. In fact, we have to make use of them, cultivating them in an organic way, in our pursuit for progress and development.
We have to understand that this culture of maintenance is an expression of our cooperation in God’s abiding providence over us and everything that happens in the world.
Divine providence, which is God’s governance over his creation, always requires our active cooperation. It never means we can be passive about things. God governs through us, who are his image and likeness, children of his who participate in his very own life and work.
And so, we have to realize that this culture’s real foundation can ultimately be in the area of religion, in our relation with God. It cannot simply be anchored on purely human reasons—personal, social, economic, political, etc.
While these human reasons are unavoidable, we have to understand that they cannot stand on their own without being rooted on a deeper foundation, which can only be God.
All this concern about maintenance, governance, administration, continuity and fidelity need the animating principle of God, the beginning and end of all things, the Creator, the eternal being who is also a father to us who never lets us down.
We have to be wary of a secular, worldly view about what can motivate and keep us in the duty of maintenance. It can have very many convincing arguments, but the moment it sets God aside, giving him, at best, only a decorative role, we would be in the wrong track.
When a genuine living relation with God is achieved, our awareness of our duty of maintenance, continuity and fidelity acquires its most fundamental and reliable source and lifeblood.
It makes us keenly aware of the many aspects and requirements of this duty, capable of making long-term plans and strategies as well as flexible to cope with changing and unexpected circumstances. It tries its best to avoid a short-sighted vision of things and other stop-gap measures and knee-jerk reactions.
In short, we would be doing all the tasks of maintenance out of pure love for God and for souls. The virtue of prudence will be lived to the hilt
The duty of maintenance then becomes an exciting adventure, with all the possible situations that can happen. But there’s confidence and sense of security among those involved.
With that love, we would be willing to go all the way, not afraid of sacrifices to be made, effort and expenses to be spent, etc. If corrections are needed, then they are done, irrespective of who gets hurt.
The problem is that many of us still find it corny to put God and love in this equation. We prefer to remain in the humanly advantageous level—what is profitable, practical, popular, etc. This only shows lack of faith, or a faith not well digested and assimilated.
With this attitude, we immediately narrow and impoverish our idea of maintenance and governance. And sooner or later, we get what we deserve—troubles, failures, disappointments, termination, etc.
It’s important that we cultivate and spread this culture of maintenance far and wide. Its rudiments can be done in the families, in schools, churches. Then it can influence our neighborhood, our cities and the government.
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