The bigger picture of sexuality

OUR main problem with respect to our understanding and attitude toward human sexuality is that this has been reduced to a purely biological and human aspect of hormones, passions, urges, instincts, sensual stimuli and genital activity, and a naturalistic sense of decency and nothing more.

This is giving it an incomplete, inadequate if not distorted and dangerous treatment. We need to bring it to the terra firma of its true nature and character, its authentic beginning, purpose and end, away from the swamps and marshes of the sensually, if not genitally, dominated aspect.

Sexuality is reduced to sex. Worse, sex is made the climax and end-all of our sexuality. All other considerations are made secondary, and even ignored, ridiculed and finally rejected. Thus, there is that growing, headlong drift toward an erotic and pornographic culture, at first hidden and later open.

Because of this phenomenon, sexuality is not anymore inspired by reason, let alone, by faith and love. Instead the savagery of the passions and urges is given free rein, with the matching fruits of all kinds of anomalies and perversions.

Many people are abandoning even the basic natural idea of masculinity and femininity. That our sexuality is first of all a gift from God, meant to enable men and women to complement each other not only for human development but ultimately for the final communion among ourselves and with God, is forgotten.

Our sexuality is a necessary condition of our humanity. Since we are not pure spirits, since we are what may be called as body-persons, our nature has been endowed with sexuality for a variety of reasons and purposes.

Among them would be the obvious differences between the masculine and feminine qualities in their varying degrees and levels that are meant to enrich everyone’s development and growth to maturity in the human and Christian sense, in the material and spiritual sense, etc.

For example, one can see the differences between masculinity and femininity in the way a room is cleaned, the food is cooked, the car is driven, clothes are worn, etc. And yet, in all these differences everyone can always derive something for his own good.

Truth is we all need both toughness and gentleness, action and contemplation, farm and home, etc., and these are contributed in different ways by the masculinity and femininity of our sexuality.

Of course, given our subjectivity, we can also get wrong in our understanding of our sexuality and misuse or abuse it, with the corresponding evil effects. That’s why we have to be vigilant and help one another live our sexuality properly.

One time in a family reunion, a sister of mine, in her 50s, said that she found it odd that when she visited a place frequented by call center agents, she found the girls quite dressed up like “kikays” while their male companions were kind of rugged, unkempt with beard and all, and she could not figure out how they could be together and even quite cozy with each other,

I kept my thoughts to myself, but in my mind, with what I’ve read, seen and heard, what sprang was the suspicion that these youngsters are playing a game very different from what youngsters of our generation played. I just told my sister to pray.

Among the big challenges in this area is the spreading of the bigger, if not the full picture of sexuality to everyone. It’s a delicate topic, I know, but it simply cannot be marginalized, especially given its character of immediacy, vulnerability and obstinacy.

This has to be handled with utmost care, relying first of all on spiritual and supernatural means of prayer, sacrifice, penance, sacraments, devotions, etc., without neglecting the appropriate human means of discipline, self-control, work, the art of sublimation, etc.

A lot of clarification need to be done, especially on the doctrinal level. The theology of the body has to be explained well, giving both its temporal and eternal dimensions. But the practical aspects of developing chastity, modesty, prudence, self-giving, etc. should not be neglected. This is the real challenge.

Besides, we really need to do a lot of cleaning up in our environment—in the media, the billboards, entertainment centers, malls, internet cafes, sport facilities, wellness hubs, etc. We have to break down the wall of biases that prevent us from giving ethical considerations to sexual matters.

With these things done, we can hope that more people understand the true meaning of virginity and marriage, and that in the end, we all are meant to be celibate in heaven.

Putting God in the digital world

THAT’S what settled in my mind after reading Pope Benedict’s message for this year’s World Communication Day. That event will take place in May yet, but the advance copy of the message has already been released last January. Its study is definitely worthwhile.

The message is entitled, “The Priest and Pastoral Ministry in a Digital World: New Media at the Service of the Word.” Though its immediate targets are the priests who are celebrating the Year of the Priests, it actually is addressed to everyone, since hardly anyone now can escape from the digital world.

My first reaction was kind of skeptical. As if the complications of putting God in the real world are not enough, now we also have to contend with the more tricky task of putting God in the digital world!

Of course, I have no doubt that it’s important that we manage to put God in our computer-generated universe. But how do we do this? How can we make God directly relevant and actually connected with the persons and issues involved in the digital world? What road map can we use?

I’m sure there are now studies being made to answer these questions. I think we are still at the pioneering part of the learning curve, and we have to expect mistakes and failures. Anyway, as long as we remain patient, humble and open, I believe we can prosper in this new challenge.

But we cannot ignore the enormity, and worse, the complexity of the challenge. The digital world instantly thrusts us into the global stage with a universal cast of characters and into the world “agora” of ideas and issues. These are no small things.

In the digital world, you swim not anymore in a pool or in your favorite beach resort. You will find yourself in the middle of the ocean, and anything can happen there, including drowning.

We just cannot go there and say our piece without considering the kind of audience and concerns that we need to engage with in a meaningful way. That would just create more trash, more pollution in cyberspace.

While it’s true that mere Christian presence in the web, by way of posting doctrinal items, for example, can already serve some purpose, I think that it would be much better if we really can get into a substantial dialogue with the public in general in all their variety of situations and predicaments.

This has to be done with the view of creating greater understanding among ourselves, a better atmosphere of peace and harmony, instead of generating more tension and conflicts due to our unavoidable differences.

Thus, the dialogue—cultural, political, religious, etc.—should be conducted with utmost refinement and respect for people’s freedom. Pride and roughness contribute nothing other than causing division and enmity among ourselves.

But priests and all those who wish to be consistent to their Christian duty should be truly competent in handling all kinds of questions that can come up there.

This is what Pope Benedict said recently. In a recent address to Pontifical Academies, he invited the members to give “adequate” and “creative” answers to the problems posed by contemporary culture, while also taking recourse to the “riches of the Christian tradition.”

He particularly made mention of the situation of today’s youth who are growing up in a society dominated by “relativism” and “subjectivism.” These are ideologies or mind-frames that enclose people in their own world, unmindful of God and spiritual values.

He said that the youth’s predicament is often aggravated by methods and attitudes that are shallow and trivial. He appealed for more serious, scientific approaches in tackling this problem.

There are actually many, practically endless things that can be done in the digital world. One just has to identify his own niche where he finds himself confident and competent, and develop a continuing strategy of proclaiming, clarifying and dialoguing.

The Pope, for example, spoke about the need for promoting a true Christian humanism, always using both faith and reason in addressing the questions posed by the dialogue among cultures. He reassured everyone that this is not only possible but also indispensable in reaching out to all people.

Let’s hope that everyone, especially us, the priests, realize more deeply the urgency of this concern. It cannot be denied that there are clear signs the world is drifting away from God, and the values associated with him are disappearing little by little. We need to put a stop to this, and reverse the trend.

Priests need continuing conversion

EVERYBODY, of course, needs it, but we, priests, especially need this continuing renewal of commitment and conversion of heart. We cannot overemphasize this.

I was happy to hear from priests-friends who just came from the National Congress for the Clergy gushing over the results of that 5-day event. “There’s going to be a transformation among the clergy and the Church in general,” everyone I talked to remarked, saying it with an air of confidence.

I was not able to attend the meeting but my heart was all there. I followed it closely in the internet. Seeing the images and hearing the reports were enough to convince me that the Holy Spirit was busy inspiring the priests from all over the country.

There’s magic when a big number of priests congregate, driven by a unity of purpose. It moved me to see the juices of piety flowing clearly on the faces and in the behavior of my brother priests. These made me burst in thanksgiving.

All of a sudden, priests were acting like those old women in churches, touching the relics, sighing and even with tears emerging in the eyes, waving hankies as they sang hymn to our Lady… It’s nice to see their hearts melt with love, both human and Christian.

Kudos should be given to those who organized and ran the event. There must have been long and tedious preparations made, and all of it paid off. They also invited speakers who were clearly gifted and who served as good instruments of the Spirit. Thanks be to God!

All these convince me that this kind of activity should be made an ongoing program. True, it’s just an instrument and the attendance to it should never be mistaken as the very substance of priestly holiness.

But it’s a wonderful and effective instrument. It’s good to hear that the bishops are thinking of making it a regular event for the priests. May it be turned into a reality!

What is really important is that the continuing activities of priestly formation and spiritual assistance should vitally and organically blossom from formal and planned congresses like the recent one.

In this regard, we can think of an abiding program of both personal and collective formation that can include a plan of acts of piety assumed with a sense of commitment, like mental prayer, Holy Mass and Communion, spiritual reading, examination of conscience, confession, Rosary, retreats, recollections, etc.

That delicate and indispensable practice of spiritual direction, where one bares his heart and soul to another priest with vast experience and the grace of state as spiritual director in order to receive guidance, should be promoted.

Sadly, this is hardly done. To me, it’s here where the nitty-gritty of nourishing one’s spiritual life and ministry, of correcting and healing certain spiritual ailments afflicting us, and even of resurrecting already necrotic parts of one’s spiritual life are made. These should be done regularly and promptly.

We, priests, should understand that we have to lead the way to sanctification. This requires nothing less than continuing conversion. We have to go beyond the human conditions of our character, temperament, culture, etc., to be able to attune ourselves closely to the will and ways of God.

This is always possible, and this is actually necessary. It’s true that we are conditioned by many human factors, but we have to go beyond them. We should not rely simply on our natural talents and endowments. We have to be actuated by nothing less than God’s grace, achieved through living union with Christ.

This is in order to avoid turning our subjectivity as persons into arbitrary subjectivism, our activity into activism deprived of divine character. This is to make sure we are doing God’s work truly, and not just our work.

Priests have to enter into the very mind and heart of Christ. In fact, we have to live the very life of Christ, complete with the unavoidable suffering and personal holocaust.

For this, we need to study and pray always, to convert ourselves into authentic contemplative souls even if we find ourselves in the hustle and bustle of daily life. This should be our default page. We have to be wary of the tendency to be swallowed up by an on-the-go lifestyle that kills prayer life.

We have to spread the doctrine and the truths of faith with gift of tongue and with abiding and consistent witnessing. We have to avoid just giving a performance and show out of our priestly ministry.

For all this, priests have to realize we need conversion always.