AS priest, I, of course, get
consulted many times about
marital issues. Husbands and wives come to ask about how to resolve
certain challenges, difficulties and trials they are undergoing with
their respective spouses.
I consider it a great privilege to be able to journey with
couples in their marital and family life, and I just hope that I still
can have time to continue enjoying this privilege.
marital issues. Husbands and wives come to ask about how to resolve
certain challenges, difficulties and trials they are undergoing with
their respective spouses.
I consider it a great privilege to be able to journey with
couples in their marital and family life, and I just hope that I still
can have time to continue enjoying this privilege.
Through the years, this experience
has given me a deeper
appreciation of the mystery of marriage where God’s abundant grace of
marriage has to contend with the freedom of men and women that can go
every which way.
And through the years, my conviction has also grown
stronger and deeper that the most crucial thing to do to make marriage
work as it should is to make the spouses become more human, more
Christian, more in love with a love that is authentic and not fake, a
love that can only come from God who is in fact the only source of
love.
All the practical pieces of advice, I believe, have to
start and end with God, have to make the couples closer to God. Of
course, this truth may not have to be told to the concerned parties
directly, bluntly and in the raw.
Many husbands and wives are not yet ready to grapple with
the ultimate religious dimension of marriage. They find it hard to
shift from being formalistic and casual to being serious and resolute
about God’s role in marriage.
And so with gift of tongues, the suggestions and pieces of
advice have to be couched in terms more immediately acceptable to
them. The idea is not to scare them, but to lead them little by little
to where the secret of marital success lies.
The secret is actually no secret, because it all too well
known. Marriage is not a human invention. It is part of God’s
creation, and as such has laws, requirements, means and purposes that
have to be respected and followed as much as possible and with utmost
freedom.
Marriage is love personified in two persons, a man and a
woman, who in both their bodily and spiritual dimensions have to
reflect the very love of God for us, the indestructible love of Christ
for his Church.
The love required for marriage is none other than God’s
love that goes all the way, that can weather all kinds of
situations—for better, for worse, in health or in sickness, for richer
or poorer till death do the spouses part.
That is why marriage has to be understood as a way of
sanctification. It’s not just a human and much less a bodily need, or
a social phenomenon, or a legal creation. It is where God’s grace is
unleashed to sanctify the couple and the family they generate.
The family that springs from a good marriage would be a
tremendous school that forms individual persons to be truly human and
Christian.. It would also be crucial and indispensable living cell in
society, training and contributing responsible and mature citizens.
All of these sublime properties of marriage, plus their
endless implications, both theoretical and practical, have to be
gradually learned. These properties should be presented in such a way
they would know how to contend with the prosaic challenges of daily
married and family life that often tend to twit and ridicule them.
In this regard, what would help is when the couples have
some basic faith, hope and charity, and some basic forms of piety.
With these, in spite of their limitations and mistakes, there is
reason to hope that their marriage can move on.
But a practical advice for husbands and wives would be
what St. Peter said in his first letter (chapter 3). Wives should be
submissive to their husbands. Husbands should live considerately with
their wives. Both should have unity of spirit, sympathy, love of the
brethren, a tender heart and a humble mind.
In more concrete terms, husbands and wives should respect
and trust each other. They don’t have to agree in all items and
issues, as long as they know how to distinguish between what is
essential and indispensable in marriage, and what is open to
legitimate opinions and personal preferences.
Husbands and wives should, of course, try to give space to
their individual personal preferences as well as be willing to give
them up for the sake of greater peace and harmony in marriage and the
family.
The language of true love involves giving up and losing
that actually translates into gaining more and better things.
appreciation of the mystery of marriage where God’s abundant grace of
marriage has to contend with the freedom of men and women that can go
every which way.
And through the years, my conviction has also grown
stronger and deeper that the most crucial thing to do to make marriage
work as it should is to make the spouses become more human, more
Christian, more in love with a love that is authentic and not fake, a
love that can only come from God who is in fact the only source of
love.
All the practical pieces of advice, I believe, have to
start and end with God, have to make the couples closer to God. Of
course, this truth may not have to be told to the concerned parties
directly, bluntly and in the raw.
Many husbands and wives are not yet ready to grapple with
the ultimate religious dimension of marriage. They find it hard to
shift from being formalistic and casual to being serious and resolute
about God’s role in marriage.
And so with gift of tongues, the suggestions and pieces of
advice have to be couched in terms more immediately acceptable to
them. The idea is not to scare them, but to lead them little by little
to where the secret of marital success lies.
The secret is actually no secret, because it all too well
known. Marriage is not a human invention. It is part of God’s
creation, and as such has laws, requirements, means and purposes that
have to be respected and followed as much as possible and with utmost
freedom.
Marriage is love personified in two persons, a man and a
woman, who in both their bodily and spiritual dimensions have to
reflect the very love of God for us, the indestructible love of Christ
for his Church.
The love required for marriage is none other than God’s
love that goes all the way, that can weather all kinds of
situations—for better, for worse, in health or in sickness, for richer
or poorer till death do the spouses part.
That is why marriage has to be understood as a way of
sanctification. It’s not just a human and much less a bodily need, or
a social phenomenon, or a legal creation. It is where God’s grace is
unleashed to sanctify the couple and the family they generate.
The family that springs from a good marriage would be a
tremendous school that forms individual persons to be truly human and
Christian.. It would also be crucial and indispensable living cell in
society, training and contributing responsible and mature citizens.
All of these sublime properties of marriage, plus their
endless implications, both theoretical and practical, have to be
gradually learned. These properties should be presented in such a way
they would know how to contend with the prosaic challenges of daily
married and family life that often tend to twit and ridicule them.
In this regard, what would help is when the couples have
some basic faith, hope and charity, and some basic forms of piety.
With these, in spite of their limitations and mistakes, there is
reason to hope that their marriage can move on.
But a practical advice for husbands and wives would be
what St. Peter said in his first letter (chapter 3). Wives should be
submissive to their husbands. Husbands should live considerately with
their wives. Both should have unity of spirit, sympathy, love of the
brethren, a tender heart and a humble mind.
In more concrete terms, husbands and wives should respect
and trust each other. They don’t have to agree in all items and
issues, as long as they know how to distinguish between what is
essential and indispensable in marriage, and what is open to
legitimate opinions and personal preferences.
Husbands and wives should, of course, try to give space to
their individual personal preferences as well as be willing to give
them up for the sake of greater peace and harmony in marriage and the
family.
The language of true love involves giving up and losing
that actually translates into gaining more and better things.
No comments:
Post a Comment