It always pays to be humble

WITH our country´s social and political environment increasingly affected by developments in the West where the contraceptive mentality, abortion, divorce, etc., are enshrined in their laws, we too are now experiencing a growing tension as these issues are invading our shores and are certainly sparking controversy.

We are still in the middle of a heated RH debate, and now the issue of divorce is rearing its ugly head. Proponents of it proudly banner themselves as the harbinger of enlightenment to people long subjected to the bondage of Church teaching. Hmmmm. What a provocation!

Of course, when an average priest hears claims like that, the reflex action is likely to defend the Church if not gird for an attack. I must say, this happened with me many times. I grew up in a family environment where we were encouraged always to defend and argue our positions, even up to its bloody end. I admit I enjoyed it too.

Only after sometime did I realize that the appropriate paradigm to follow is the behavior of Christ himself. While he also was strong in disciplining his disciples and even scolding the unbelievers, in the end he just went about proclaiming the gospel truth about God and us, allowed himself to be insulted, inflicted pain, and then crucified for this doctrine.

There´s wisdom in that kind of behavior. I´m only realizing it lately that due to our human condition so vulnerable to a lot of weaknesses which we consider to be our strength, the most appropriate way to win others is to be humble and meek. The attitude to take is not to score points, but to save souls. It´s not to win an argument, it´s to spread charity.

As the Acts of the Apostles describes it, ¨He was led as a sheep to the slaughter, and like a lamb without voice before his shearer, he opened not his mouth.¨ (8,32) And that attitude and behavior resulted in our redemption and Christian perfection!

This realization came to me clearly only after some verbal—mostly written, not oral—tussles I had with those who differ from my views, especially on the RH issue. I noticed that when I answered a tit to their every tat, we generated more heat.

But when I changed tactic and responded even to the sharpest, most impertinent comment with at least some nice words, the tenor of the discourse changed. It became less confrontational, and more conciliatory. And exchanges assumed more substance and direction.

We cannot deny the fact that all of us have our baggage of biases and prejudices, and can be afflicted with the usual weaknesses—pride, vanity, envy, cynicism, the tendency to dominate others, to be regarded well always of others, etc.

I think we need to be aware of these elements that often spoil our conversations and dialogues, and strive to be humble, to empty oneself just like what our Lord did to become like us—he emptied himself of his God-ness. We have to empty ourselves to receive more the grace of God.

That is why St. Paul said: ¨Let nothing be done through contention, neither by vainglory. But in humility, let each esteem others better than themselves.¨ (Phil 2,3) We need to spread these words more widely. Many are still ignorant of the wisdom embedded in them.

Humility always favors dialogue. It allows the discourse to develop properly and to go to areas and branches that are pertinent to the issue at hand. It fosters objectivity and purifies the motives of people. It knows how to keep on track, avoiding getting off-course. It also has a good sense of timing, knowing when to talk and when to keep quiet and wait.

It leads us to pursue our dialogue in accordance to the prudence of the spirit and not to the prudence of the flesh or of the world. It fosters greater sensitivity to the positions and situations of others.

It makes us a ¨spiritual man¨ as opposed to a ¨carnal man¨ that St. Paul talked about. The ¨spiritual man¨ can understand and bear the ¨carnal man,¨ but not vice versa. So, humility teaches us to be patient, willing to suffer certain inconveniences if only to reach the desired end. It reinforces our sense of security and confidence.

The spiritual qualities of the wisdom that flows from a humility-inspired discourse have the following qualities as St. James mentioned in his letter: ¨it is chaste, then peaceable, modest, easy to be persuaded, consenting to the good, full of mercy and good fruits, without judging, without dissimulation.¨ (3,17)