Tact, discretion, naturalness

THESE virtues, it seems, are now emerging to be in great demand these days, especially in the sphere of social media where more and more people are realizing how tricky and treacherous the waters can be in that ocean.

The advent of Facebook and Twitter has surfaced another great challenge to all of us, one that should be understood well, tamed and dominated, and then used in a way proper to our dignity as persons, social beings, and ultimately children of God.

At the moment, there is still that pervading sense of curiosity, fascination and novelty that these electronic facilities cause in us, and without being adequately prepared as to how to use them, we plunge into them, not knowing exactly where they are going to lead us.

It’s an intoxicating condition that leaves behind all kinds of effects, from the amusing to the absurd, from the pleasant to the painful, from the sublime to the ridiculous, from the informative to the frivolous, etc.

While these electronic facilities give us wonderful benefits—imagine, you get in touch with long lost friends, classmates in grade school, and relatives, etc.—we also need to be wary of their many, more subtle dangers that lurk behind their advantages.

For one, we can waste a lot of time there, tempted to let down our guard and expose ourselves to all sorts of dangerous possibilities, prodded to be so tongue-loose as to be gossipy and petty, and a long etcetera.

This is not being paranoid. This is rather being prudent, discerning, forewarned and prepared since this avenue of human communication also has a stiff price that we should be ready to pay.

This concern should not be taken as a wet blanket. Rather, it should be stimulus to acquire the necessary attitude and skills, virtues and competencies, we need to be a master and not a slave of these technologies.

We have to realize that they can be good and can help us to be better for those who are basically good, and bad and can become worse for those whose intentions and ways are not clear. With them, the improvement or deterioration can go at accelerating speed.

Of course, the usual tension, if not open conflict, between the forces of good and evil continue to play out, with greater drama and suspense, in this new wide arena of human experience. We have to learn how to play the game well, with a clear game plan in mind.

Thus, we need to learn the ways of tact, discretion and naturalness. These put reason and good taste at least in our exchanges. These may already be a lot, but actually a lot more are needed.

For these virtues to flower, we need to have clear criteria, good conscience, skills in delicacy, sense of timing, abiding interest in others. A good grounding on the ultimate truths about ourselves which we get from our faith and beliefs should be constantly pursued.

Otherwise, we would just be left with our subjective opinions, relying more on the shifting trends of fashion and the social, cultural and political conditions. We would easily fall into the trap of relativism, where nothing absolute is kept other than one´s own views.

Our conscience, which is where we are supposed to hear the voice of God, should be in tiptop form. This takes place when we always manage to pray always, to be in the presence of God, to purify our intentions and fill our mind and heart with good things for God and the others.

Also, we need to cultivate a continuing interest in others, always trying to understand them, to know why they speak and act the way they do and empathize with them.

This way, even if they may be wrong in something, we would know how to approach them. Also, even if we can not help but clash because of differences in character, temperament, views, culture, age, etc.. we would know how to handle the situation.

For sure, there are times, when we really have to clash because of fundamental differences in faith and beliefs and the morals that flow from them. In this case, we should not be afraid to collide, but doing it as charitably as we can.

We have to know which things are of absolute value that should not be compromised, and which of relative value that can be relinquished or dispensed with. Toward this end, we obviously need ongoing formation. We have to be wary of the tendency to be complacent in this regard.