The Filipino male

IT seems that we from time to time need to have an outsider to tell us some unpleasant but undeniable truths about ourselves.

In a way, this phenomenon is understandable, since on the average we tend to see only what we like to see among ourselves. Our objectivity-subjectivity correspondence can be way below perfect. It can even get an F-mark.

Recently, I’ve been having some email exchanges with an American who has been reacting to my columns. I will not mention his name, but his opinions have given me fodder for thought and reflections. I think his views are worthwhile sharing.

Since he has been courting a Filipina mainly through the Internet, though he also has been here for a while precisely to see the girl, he has been quite fascinated by what he discovered in the Filipino woman.

When I told him that many Filipinas are simple in character and pious, this was how he reacted:

“That ‘simple’ statement, while accurate, does not begin to do justice to who she is as a person. She is an extraordinary example of something that I have discovered about the Filipina personality—the unique combination of hyper-femininity and strength of character and dignity of personality that I can only describe as remarkable.

“American women tend to be either (1) very feminine and weak, or (2) very aggressive and anti-feminine. Filipino men are blessed, if you don’t mind my saying, with extraordinarily special women.”

When I read that part of his comments, I had to do a double take. I know the observation is at best cursory, but I feel there’s a lot of truth contained in those words. They touched an open issue about what I feel is an imbalance between the Filipino male and female especially in relation to faith and religion.

I don’t think there could be much question about women being more active than men in this most intimate aspect of our life. Any random look at churches, prayer meetings, religious activities would reveal that women clearly outnumber men. They lead by a mile.

I was amused one time when I joined a Good Friday liturgy. My friend, the parish priest, only asked the men to kiss the cross during the celebration. When I asked him why, he simply said that that was about the only time men can be seen to be dominating the ceremony. Usually they take the role of extras.

This, to me, is kind of unfair, since in the last analysis it is the men who become priests, bishops and popes, and who preside in the ceremonies, not the women.

Of course, that observation may be true not only here but also all over the world. It would seem that religiosity is determined by the X-chromosome. This, to me, is of course nonsense, since religiosity is more a spiritual phenomenon than a biological one.

This does not mean that the sex factor has no effect on our religiosity. It has, but it’s more on the way we express or manifest it. It has nothing to do with causing or determining it.

Perhaps what’s more correct to say is that our religiosity appears to be stranded in the biological or social level. It has not yet entered into its proper medium, which is our spirit, with the intelligence and will as the main faculties.

It appears stuck in the emotional level, and thus men could truly be far behind the women in this field. But it should not be so. A challenging task awaits the clergy and others to correct this anomaly.

I remember that as a kid, I saw only women busy praying at home or in church, while the men just took care of fighting cocks. I had never seen a man making a novena, or a public penitential act. During the homily at Mass, the men automatically went out of the church to smoke or something.

I’m afraid this phenomenon is reflective of the primitivism of our sense of religion. It’s still stuck in the sensitive level, in the sensational and the instant-result mentality. It refuses to grow and develop into a truly spiritual concern that goes beyond the purely human and natural.

It’s about time we rectify this irregularity. The Filipino male is in urgent need of some drastic transformation!