Faith and the family

NOW that we are in the Year of Faith, plus the fact that we just had a
synod of bishops focusing on the new evangelization, we need to
realize more deeply the indispensable role the family plays in giving
teeth to these Church aspirations.

We cannot deny that the world is drifting toward godlessness. Right
now, we are witnessing a more aggressive type of secular humanism,
that is, a humanism that excludes God and that only depends on some
human consensus, however it is derived.

Many of our public officials are now espousing their own theories and
ideas, based more on what is practical and popular, rather than on
what our faith teaches us. They believe more in these theories than in
the doctrine of our faith, and sometimes put them—their theories and
the faith—in direct contrast.

Pope Benedict talked recently about practical atheism, the kind that
does not profess it formally or publicly, but is lived just the same,
because people behave as if God does not exist. It’s actually a more
dangerous kind, since it hides its true character and can even go
through the motions of normal spiritual and moral life.

This is what we have to tangle and do battle with. We have to learn
how to grapple with its many manifestations, like relativism,
materialism, commercialism, hedonism, agnosticism, etc.

We have to be familiar with their causes and symptoms, their reasons
and other factors that give some life to them. More importantly, we
have to know the appropriate weapons to use for the combat.

These are mainly the spiritual and supernatural means: prayer,
sacrifice, sacraments, doctrine. But we should never neglect all the
human means we can muster for this purpose, especially the power to
enter into dialogue with everyone in a friendly and cordial way.

Yes, we can expect some meaty discussions and exchanges, but we need
to understand that these should be pursued in the spirit of truth and
charity. We have to be careful with what is called as bitter zeal
which usually springs more from pride and self-righteousness than from
true love for God and care for others.

All of these should be animated by a working piety that definitely
starts and is sustained in the context of the family, before it is
supported by the schools, the parishes and other similar entities.

We need to strengthen the family, and within the family, the
institution of marriage, because it is what keeps the family alive and
healthy. Parents and the other elders in the family should realize
that more than attending to the material needs of the family members,
it is the spiritual and moral needs that should be given priority.

This is the primary duty of the parents, before it becomes a duty of
the teachers, priests, nuns, and other officials and personages
involved in the continuing education of children and people in
general.

Parents therefore have to be properly trained for this grave
responsibility. They have to feel more urgently the need for the
appropriate formation. They need to know the intricacies of
spirituality and morality involved in the different stages of the
growth of the family members.

Parents cannot and should not renege from this. They may delegate some
aspects and functions of this duty, but they over-all are the first
ones responsible. And so, they must try to be experts first of all in
the doctrines of the faith, and know how to apply them to the
different situations, both within and outside the family.

The Year of Faith is precisely a good occasion to deepen the parents’
grounding on the doctrines of our faith and to put them to practice.
We just hope that all the higher entities—parishes, schools, even
government units, etc.—can do all to ensure this continuing formation
of parents and to strengthen family ties and marriage.

For this purpose, there are now many relevant books and other
materials that can help parents in their formation. With the new
technologies, these materials can be more easily accessed.

Besides, there are now a good number of groups that aim to assist
parents to fulfill their duties well. Parents and elders should try to
take advantage of them, organizing their time well so that they can
attend to the appropriate activities. Let’s hope that these groups
sustain their efforts.

Parents and elders should give time and attention to these
possibilities. It’s a worthwhile investment that will certainly bring
good dividends in the future in terms of true spiritual development
for the individual, family and society in general.

Making time timeless

IT’S a question of love. It’s a question of how we understand time,
how we manage it, what we think its real objective is.

We all know that time is some kind of measure that gives us an idea of
the past, the present and the future. It gives us an idea of before
and after, so basic in our system that we hardly give it any thought.

Yes, it’s a very demanding and unforgiving element in our life. It
simply ticks away, relentless in its march and flow regardless of what
happens in the world. And what has passed, has passed definitively,
never to return again.

We cannot stop it nor make it run faster, unless we take it in a
figurative way, or unless a lot of value added is given to it. That’s
when we can say we have saved time or have multiplied it.

That’s why many people get nervous when they consider the time element
seriously. They invariably describe it as a most precious resource
that should be used most prudently and most productively.

But put in the context of the over-all purpose of human life that
includes our spiritual and supernatural calling, time acquires even
more tremendous significance that we should know and appreciate.

This is when we know that time is first of all a gift from God,
indispensable because of our human condition. It just did not erupt
into existence on its own.  We have to be clear about this, because
many of us just presume time as given, without making any effort to
know where it came from and where it is supposed to go.

As a divine gift, it springs from the eternity of God and meant to
inhere in it always. It’s not meant to be detached from God’s
eternity, unless in our foolishness we choose to distort reality and
remove time from eternity.

We have to be more aware, in fact, most keenly aware, of this crucial
aspect of our time here on earth. Without getting unduly fuzzy about
it, we should not be casual in our attitude toward it.

In itself, the passage of time has the savor of eternity, to which we
are constantly invited to discover and taste. This is the challenge we
have, and it requires nothing less than broadening our mind, and
grounding ourselves more firmly on our faith, hope and charity.

In short, we are supposed to constantly exercise our faith, hope and
charity to fathom the real and ultimate meaning of time, and to
connect it to the eternity of God.

In this regard, we have to take special care on how we manage our
time, on what we use it for, etc., for on these questions depends our
success or failure to make time timeless, that is, to make it acquire
the character of eternity.

We have to develop the virtue of order therefore, making appropriate
plans and schedules on a daily and weekly basis, etc., not so much for
the purpose of effectiveness and productivity as for showing our love
for God and for working always in tandem with him.

That should be the abiding criterion to use when we start allocating
time for the different things we need to attend to. We have to
constantly ask ourselves, “Is this what God really wants me to do at
this moment, or for this afternoon, tonight, tomorrow, next week,
etc.?”

Other guiding questions can be asked: “How much time should I allot to
this activity? What precautionary measures should I use to keep me
always in contact with God, avoiding being swallowed up by the
dynamics of an activity?”

Related to the virtue of order are other virtues that can be
helpful—the capacity to focus on the objectives with intensity and
perseverance, to anticipate things, to be prudent and flexible as
circumstances can change along the way, to remain calm and cheerful.

We also need to learn how to be patient and optimistic, as well as
resourceful and creative. Most of all, we have to learn how to grow
and glow in charity even in the drudgery of a routinary work, and how
to handle tiredness and the different forms of pressures, physical,
emotional, mental.

Making time timeless can indeed be truly exciting, capable of turning
the prose of every day into heroic verses of love and dedication.
Lastly, we have to find time to rest, and that can only be with Christ
who said:

“Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will refresh
you.” (Mt 11,28)

We need to love

YES, we need to fall in love. We would be harming ourselves if we
don’t. We are made for it, wired and empowered for it. Love is the
purpose of our life, its end-all, its law and our true and ultimate
perfection.

    That’s because God created us so. As image and likeness of his, we
cannot but reflect the love that constitutes the very essence of God.
“Deus caritas est,” St. John says.

    That’s God’s design for us to which we have to correspond freely.
Love has to be repaid with love. Thus, when Christ was asked what the
greatest commandment was, he immediately responded that it was to love
God with all our might, and that the second greatest was to love our
neighbour, that is, everyone, as oneself.

    Later on, Christ would perfect and summarize these commandments into
a new commandment: to love one another as he has loved us. Christ is
the standard, the law, the power of our love, and not anybody or
anything else—a beautiful girl, and much less, power, fame, wealth. To
Christian believers, we should not look for anything else.

    That’s why there is always some embers of this essence in us, no
matter how inadequately recognized, incompletely developed, thwarted
or misdirected. We always tend to love, to at least pay attention to
others, to need them and do something for them. We cannot be by
ourselves all the time.

    We need to work out this love to its fullness and its purest state.
We cannot be cavalier in our attitude toward it. It’s a serious duty,
in fact, the primary duty. All other duties and responsibilities flow
and derive their ultimate meaning from this.

    Remember that beautiful and stirring warning of St. Paul?

    “If I speak with the tongues of men, and of angels, and have not
charity, I am become a sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.

    “And if I should have prophecy and should know all mysteries, and all
knowledge, and if I should have all faith, so that I could remove
mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.

    “And if I should distribute all my goods to feed the poor, and if I
should deliver my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profits
me nothing.” (1 Cor 13,1-3)

    In short, we can appear very successful in many aspects and
departments of our life—and they can be no mean feats—but if not
inspired by love, the true love that is derived from God, all these
“successes” are actually failures.

    In fact, this love should not be equated with mere philanthropy and
human altruism, no matter how heroic these gestures may appear. The
love that comes from God goes beyond all these and is and should be
their principle and end.

    We need to be clear about this truth, because many are now the
elements that tend to confuse us about it, if not directly undermine
it. It’s painful to see many people, especially the young, who seem
trapped and locked up in the false, or at least, very reduced,
illusory, albeit sweet, understanding of love.

    That is why we need to pray a lot, focus our attention on the life of
Christ, his words and deeds, and especially his passion, death and
resurrection, because these are where we can get the real ingredients
of the love meant for us.

    This is the real love that can tackle everything, good or bad, big or
small, that we can meet in life. Again, let’s have St. Paul’s
beautiful description:

    “Charity is patient, is kind. Charity envies not, deals not
perversely, is not puffed up, is not ambitious, seeks not her own, is
not provoked to anger, thinks no evil. It rejoices not in iniquity,
but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things,
hopes all things, endures all things.” (1 Cor 13, 4-7)

    We should not beat around the bush as to what love is and what role
it plays in our life. And toward this end, we have to make continuing
effort to clarify it in public and in private and personal
conversations, going through the endless implications, theoretical and
practical, that it possesses.

    For one, we should prod everyone of us to love others aggressively,
that is, to think well of them, showing affection and understanding,
doing acts of service, even without being asked. We should not wait
for others to prove they deserve our love. We just have to love them,
even before they deserve it.