Dealing with our differences and conflicts

THE great lesson we can learn from the parables of the lost sheep and the lost coin (cfr. Lk 15,1-10) is that with the unavoidable differences and conflicts among ourselves, we have a golden opportunity to be like Christ and develop the true charity that knows how to love everyone in spite of whatever. 

 Like Christ, we have to take the initiative to understand everyone, to be patient and willing to suffer for whatever it takes to have that all-inclusive kind of love. Far from turning us off or distancing ourselves from the parties concerned when we experience these differences and conflicts, we should all the more be interested to be with them, to help and love them in whatever way we can, always with God’s grace. 

 We have to be wary of our tendency to keep grudges, resentments, critical and negative thoughts, mental reservations, etc., against anyone when we are confronted with these differences and conflicts. We should try our best to rid ourselves of them no matter how small or insignificant we think they may seem to us. 

 Only love that channels the love of Christ for all of us can handle this condition when we have to deal with our unavoidable differences and conflicts. When we find it hard to have that love, we have to beg God for the grace, and little by little develop the appropriate attitude, virtues and spirit. 

 Obviously, some struggle would be involved here. And it can be of the severe kind. But as long as we go to God for help, we can manage to win and conquer those human and natural weaknesses and limitations that hamper our power to have the charity of Christ. 

 Let’s remember that when we react negatively toward these differences and conflicts, it would be as if God is showing us those weaknesses and limitations that we need to correct and transcend with God’s grace. In a sense, we should be welcoming of these differences so that we can know ourselves better and have the chance to become more Christ-like as we should be. 

 We should bring these issues in our prayer, always begging God for light and strength. We should remind ourselves that as St. Paul told us, as long as we are with God, all things will always work out for the good. (cfr. Rom 8,28) 

 The ideal condition of our heart is that of being light and bearing nothing other than pure love and understanding for everyone. As such, we can live what St. Paul described how true charity should be: “Charity is patient, is kind, does not envy, does not act wrongly, is not inflated, is not ambitious, does not seek for itself, is not provoked to anger, devises no evil…” (1 Cor 13,1-6) 

 So, we just have to learn how to be sport and game with everyone without compromising the rules of the game, so to speak. Foul is foul, cheating is cheating, and the appropriate penalties should be given, but the game has to go on. 

 Just the same, we have to be ready to get dirty. There is actually no game where the sportsman does not get dirty or does not experience extreme tensions and suspense. 

 In this regard, we have to realize more deeply that we need to be strong and flexible ourselves. Thus, we have to undergo continuing formation, just like those good athletes who never fail to practice daily and to go through endless training exercises.

Strengthening our faith in Christ

AS we commemorate all the souls of our beloved faithful departed brethren on November 2, we are reminded that we are promised eternal life as long as we believe in Christ. “It is my Father's will that whoever sees the Son and believes in him should have eternal life, and that I should raise that person up on the last day,” Christ said. (Jn 6,40) 

 We should just see to it that we are always engaged with Christ whatever we are doing, whatever the situation and condition of our life may be. It should be Christ, more than anything or anybody else, with whom we should be relating. 

 For this, we have to train ourselves, considering that we are often entangled and trapped simply in the technical, practical and temporal aspects of our life. We need to make ourselves true contemplative souls even while immersed in the middle of the world. 

 We have to learn to see Christ in everything. If our belief in the constant presence of Christ in our life is not yet strong and abiding, then we have to submit ourselves to some plan or program that would make that ideal a living reality. Let’s remember that Christ himself assured us he will always be with us till the end of time. “I am with you always, even to the end of the age,” he said. (Mt 28,20) 

 We have to realize that we need to be guided by our faith more than anything else. We should be wary of our strong tendency to be led only by our senses, emotions, perceptions, imagination, memory, etc. 

 While these human faculties are indispensable and are very useful, they need to be guided by faith, otherwise we would fail to see the full dimension of the reality meant for us, that is, the spiritual and supernatural life meant for us. 

 It’s when we are guided by our faith that we would realize that there is such thing as what we usually refer to as “life after death.” In fact, we would realize that there is such truth as the “last things.” The doctrine of the ‘last things’ refers to what would happen to us at the end of our life here on earth. These ‘last things’ are death, judgment, hell and heaven, with purgatory as a transitory state. 

 If we are guided by our Christian faith, we would know that our life here on earth is some kind of training and testing ground God is giving us. God is actually still forming us to be what he wants us to be—his image and likeness, his adopted children meant to share in his very own life. Our creation is not yet finished. It’s still a work in progress. 

 This is a truth of faith that should be clear in our mind so that we can do our part properly in God’s ongoing creation of us. In short, we can say that God is still training us as well as testing us, because even if he is the one who solely creates us, he wants us to correspond properly to his designs for us. 

 That’s because we are not merely inert creatures or living creatures like the plants and animals that are incapable of knowingly and lovingly corresponding to their creation by God. We, on the other hand, being endowed by God with intelligence and will and freely given his grace, have to also want what God wants us to be. We have a role to play in making ourselves God’s image and likeness.

We can all be saints!

LET’S be clear about this. We can all be saints. In fact, we should try our best to be saints, since insofar as God is concerned, everything has been given so that what he wants us to be can really turn into reality. Things just depend on us, on how we correspond to the will of God for us. 

 Remember St. Peter citing a passage from the Scripture: “You must be holy because I am holy.” (1 Pt 1,16) And St. Paul reiterates the same idea: “This is the will of God—you sanctification.” (1 Thes 4,3) And Christ himself said: “Be perfect even as your Father in heaven is perfect.” (Mt 5,48) 

 With everything that God through Christ in the Holy Spirit has done for this purpose, we can say that our ultimate failure would be if at the end of our earthly life we fail to be saints. 

 Not only is God offering us grace, the Church, the sacraments, the doctrine, etc., etc., he in Christ is also eager to identify himself with our worst condition in our life, showing us how to handle it so we can manage to share his own life, that is, to be holy and be saints. Thus, in the gospel of the Solemnity of All Saints, we are reminded of the beatitudes that reassure us that we can blessed in our bad conditions of being poor, persecuted, etc., if we follow him. (cfr. Mt 5,1-12) 

 We should feel at home with this most wonderful will of God, overcoming whatever disbelief and awkwardness we may have about it, and trying our best to follow all that Christ has taught, shown, commanded and empowered us. 

 Sanctity should be constant concern we ought to have. We should not be derailed from this pursuit by aiming only at some practical purposes and other earthly and human goals which, no matter how legitimate, can only be at best a means, an occasion, an instrument to develop sanctity and to do apostolate which always go along with the pursuit for holiness. 

 Our work, for example, for which we spend most of our time during our active life, can and should be a wonderful occasion to seek sanctity and do apostolate. It’s there where we can truly encounter God and others and develop our intimate relationship with them. 

 We should never regard our work as purely worldly as to have no relation with God and others. If we let ourselves be guided by our Christian faith, we know that our work, no matter how mundane and small as long as it is honest, is always our cooperation in the abiding providence of God over all his creation. It is supposed to lead us to God and to strengthen our relation with everybody else. There is something sacred in it. 

 When we end the day with an examination of conscience which is highly recommended if we are truly serious with our God-given life, we should have the sensation that there is some growth, no matter how small, in our sanctity. We should not judge the value of our day by purely earthly standards like efficiency, profitability, practicality, etc. 

 There should be the sensation that we are getting closer to God and everybody else, because we manage to give our heart to them, willing to fight and overcome any obstacle that we can encounter in our pursuit for our love for God and others, which is the essence of sanctity.