Let’s always be forgiving

“Lord, if my brother sins against me, how often must I forgive him? As many as seven times?” (Mt 18,21) Peter asked this question to Christ. Peter was actually being very gracious by suggesting that one should forgive seven times. But Christ went beyond all that. “Not only seven times, but seventy-seven times,” which actually means always! 

 Christ wants us to be forgiving always as he himself has been and will always be forgiving to all of us. If we understand our humanity as being patterned after Christ, then we have to realize that like Christ, we have to be forgiving always. Even if some offenders of ours have not yet asked forgiveness from us, like Christ just before he died on the cross, we should offer forgiveness to them. 

 We have to remember that we can only be forgiven of our sins if we also forgive others of theirs. Christ made this point clear when he said, “Forgive and you shall be forgiven.” (Lk 6,37) He reiterated this injunction when he said: “For if you will forgive men their offences, your heavenly Father will forgive you also your offences. But if you do not forgive men, neither will your Father forgive you your offences.” (Mt 6,14-15) 

 It’s clear therefore that we can only be forgiven if we also forgive others. This injunction is meant for everyone, and not only for a few whom we may consider to be religiously inclined. That’s why when asked how many times we should forgive, he said not only seven times, but seventy times seven, meaning always. 

 That’s also why he easily forgave the woman caught in adultery. And to those whom he cured of their illnesses, it was actually the forgiveness of their sins that he was more interested in. 

 To top it all, Christ allowed himself to die on the cross as a way to forgive all of our sins, and to convert our sins through his resurrection as a way to our own redemption. What he did for us he also expects, nay, commands that we also do for everybody else. 

 If Christ can offer forgiveness to those who crucified him—and there can be no worse evil than killing Christ who is God—why do we find it hard to offer forgiveness to others? 

 All of us sin one way or another. The awareness of this truth is not meant to depress us but rather to keep us humble and always feeling in need of God. We should be wary when we would just depend solely on our own resources to tackle this predicament. We need God. 

 The awareness of this truth should also help us to develop the attitude to forgive one another as quickly as possible, since that is the only way we can be forgiven. When we find it hard to forgive others, it is a clear sign that we are full of ourselves, are self-righteous, proud and vain. It is a clear sign that we are not yet with Christ. 

 We have to continually check on our attitude towards others because today’s dominant culture is filled precisely by the viruses of self-righteousness, that feeling that we are superior to others, etc. These viruses make it hard for us to be forgiving to others. We have to do constant battle against that culture. 

 We have to be forgiving always because at the end of the day, no matter what sins and offenses we commit, we are all brothers and sisters in Christ, obliged to love one another. And forgiveness is the ultimate sign of love.

On fraternity and fraternal correction

“IF your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have won over your brother…” (Mt 18,15) 

 With these words, Christ is encouraging us to make fraternal corrections. It’s a practice that has to be made more popular and more often, since we cannot deny that we commit mistakes, if not offenses, not only against others but also against God himself. Let’s hope and pray that this practice becomes part of our culture, and should not anymore be considered as some kind of taboo. 

 We just have to overcome the usual spoilers like fear, shame, laziness and cowardice in carrying out this Christian duty. But more than that, we should deepen and strengthen our spirit of fraternity and charity with one another. Such spirit would definitely make us to feel urged to make these fraternal corrections when they are needed. 

 To strengthen our spirit of fraternity and charity, we should see to it that we are always friendly to everyone in spite of our unavoidable differences and conflicts. Our friendships should be truly human, complete with generous details of affection and ready understanding and compassion. But it, of course, has to be based on the supernatural love of God that is fueled by his grace which we should always ask for. 

 If we would have such spirit of fraternity, then we would find it easy to fraternize with everyone, including those who are clearly in error or are great offenders and sinners. That’s what Christ did, even to the extent of ruffling the sentiments of some people who considered themselves to be without sin. 

 For example, he chose Matthew, a tax-collector, another name for big sinner at that time, as one of the apostles. He dined with Zaccheus, another rich man regarded also as sinner at that time. 

 Fraternizing with sinners is what we all have to cultivate in ourselves also. We have to replicate Christ’s attitude towards sinners, who actually are all of us—of course, in varying degrees. We have to give special attention to the lost sheep and to the lost coin. We have to open all possible avenues to be in touch with all sinners. 

 This capacity to fraternize with sinners is first of all a gift from God which we have to take care of and develop. It’s meant to mature us and to involve us in the continuing work of redemption of Christ. It’s not meant, of course, to dilute the teachings of Christ and the very essence of goodness and true holiness. 

 But our dealings with them should lead to the correction of what is wrong. This obviously will require a certain skill. Definitely, it will require the grace of God, since we have to learn what to say, when to say it, how to say it, such that the correction is truly done in charity and effectively. 

 We have to take the initiative to love everyone, regardless of whether they ‘deserve’ to be loved or not. In fact, we have to give special attention, like what Christ did, to those who seem far from God—the atheists, agnostics, heretics, etc. These are the ultimate “poor and marginalized” or the real “least of our brethren,” even if they may appear rich, powerful and famous according to human standards.

Die to have the fullness of life

YES, in a certain sense, we need to die in order to live, and live not just some ordinary life, but rather the very fullness of life, which is none other than living the life of God. This is no gratuitous affirmation. This is based on what Christ himself clearly said: 

 “Unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains just a grain of wheat. But if it dies, it produces much fruit. Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will preserve it for eternal life.” (Jn 12,24-25) 

 We have to remember that we are meant to live our life with God, since we are supposed to be his image and likeness, children of his, and sharers of his divine life. For this, we have to extinguish our notorious tendency to live simply on our own, relying only on our own powers that in the end also come actually from God. 

 Let’s realize more deeply and constantly that the only possibility we have if we do not live our life with God is to sin, if not now, then later. It will surely come. It would simply be a matter of time before we fall. 

 We have to learn the art of dying according to what Christ meant by his words to be able to live a life proper to us. We have to find ways to die a little everyday so that little by little also we can achieve a certain degree of the life that God meant for us, he who created us to be his image and likeness. We have to avoid simply developing our life purely according to our own designs. 

 We need to chisel out those parts in ourselves that are not in conformity with God’s designs for us—our sins, our defects and weaknesses. We have to render death to our pride, vanity, lust, greed, laziness, etc. 

 These of course will require a lot of time and effort, but before anything else, we would need nothing less than the grace of God to conquer them or at least to have control over them. And God himself gives us this grace abundantly. 

 This is what is meant by dying a little every day. We have to pray and make sacrifices, denying ourselves of something, even the legitimate ones, like food and drinks and some means of comfort without compromising our health, spiritual, physical and otherwise. 

 We have to learn to detach ourselves from earthly things while using them, so that our heart can only be filled with love for God, and with that love, we can love everybody and everything else properly. 

 We have to see to it that while we die a little everyday according to what is suggested above, there should also be some kind of awareness that we are being purified, liberated from some burden, etc. In other words, while there is some pain, there should also be a corresponding feeling of joy and peace, otherwise our dying would be dying for nothing. 

 There definitely should be some feeling that we are getting more intimate with God and with all the others, irrespective of how they are to us. This is how we ought to die so as to live the life proper to us. 

 That’s why Christ said that if we want to follow him, we should deny ourselves and carry the cross. That can only mean that we need to die to ourselves to be with Christ.