Be parents to the full

PARENTS are, of course, crucial in family life and the

upbringing of children. After all, they are the ones who beget
children and form a family. In the long run, they are crucial in the
development of society, the world and the Church. Everything has to be
done for them to perform their duties to the full.

            As begetters of children, they cooperate with God in the
creation of their offsprings. That’s why they are called procreators.
As such, they actually are the first link that their children have
with God, and the first ones to have authority over them, an authority
that is a sharing of the authority that God has over all mankind.

            Let’s remember what St. Paul said in his Letter to the
Ephesians—that all paternity in heaven and earth is named after the
Father of Christ, God himself. (cfr. 3,14-15)

            I am sure that our common sense could readily believe
that, since where or whom else can any authority here on earth come
from? It just cannot be of our own making. Our parenthood, our
authority over the children, our responsibility toward them cannot be
other than a vital participation of the fatherhood of God over all
mankind.

            This is a basic truth about parenthood that should not be
lost to the progenitors, nor taken for granted. It has implications
and consequences that actually condition all the other duties of
parenthood.

            We should not trivialize our parenthood and limit it to
its biological aspect alone, nor to its social or cultural aspects,
etc. Our parenthood over the children should reflect and cover as much
as we can the fatherhood of God over all of us.

            This is where we can approach the fullness of parenthood.
It would be good if parents can meditate more on this basic truth so
as to draw practical resolutions that can guide them in a daily basis.

            That’s why I was happy to read from St. John Paul II’s
apostolic exhortation, Familiaris consortio, the following words:
“Through the witness of their lives, parents are the first heralds of
the Gospel for their children.

            “Furthermore, by praying with their children, by reading
the word of God with them and by introducing them deeply through
Christian initiation into the Body of Christ—both the Eucharistic and
the ecclesial Body—they become fully parents, in that they are
begetters not only of the bodily life but also of the life that
through the Spirit’s renewal flows from the Cross and Resurrection of
Christ.” (n.39)

            Parents should understand this most important aspect of
parenthood, and should organize their married and family life in such
a way as to give due priority to this responsibility. May they know
how to properly blend the pressing and the precious concerns, the
short-term and the long-term goals, the incidental and the essential
aspects of family life.

            It would be good if time and effort is spent to translate
this ideal into a practical plan that is effective in the daily life
of the family. I am sure that with a proper intention and will in this
regard, and availing of all the subsidiary help provided by schools,
parishes and other groups, this task can be facilitated.

            There are many aspects of parenting that need to be
integrated and inspired by the proper spirit. To mention a few,
parents should know, for example, what to do when their children are
still infants, toddlers, adolescents, young adults and mature persons.

            They have to be aware of the distinctive needs each age
would have, the possible dangers and the new horizons each child may
be introduced to as he or she passes from one stage to another. In
this, we have to aim at nothing less than competence and expertise.

            At this time when things are getting very complex and
complicated, the task of parenthood can be very challenging as well
and should not be taken for granted. There should be more effort
invested to see how parenthood can be effective and lived to the full.

            In short, the art of parenthood should somehow be
professionalized, with continuing scientific studies and monitoring of
relevant developments being made, and sustained by prayers, sacrifices
and the other elements of a vibrant piety.

            What is crucial is the cooperation of everyone, and a
great amount of sacrifice, even to the point of heroism, because a lot
of thankless efforts really have to be exerted here.

            It’s good that aside from what are done in the diocesan
and parochial levels, there are now private initiatives getting
involved in this universal concern.

Nature and nurture

IT should be nature and nurture together and in conformity
with each other, not nature vs. nurture, as those of the gender
ideology would often invoke. What is obvious is that we are not our
own creator, and our nature is not self-generated. It has its own law,
independent of how we understand it, and we should just try our best
to respect and follow it.

            I remember Pope Benedict in his encyclical, Deus caritas
est, saying that nature is one and indivisible which includes not only
our physical environment, or our biological make-up, etc., but also
the spiritual and moral dimensions of our life.

            It’s good that we are witnessing a growing sense of
ecology, or care of the environment, but we should realize that that
ecological sense should extend all the way to include our spiritual
and moral life and environment, which actually is its most crucial
aspect.

            And just as what happens in our physical environment, we
too have the choice either to respect, enhance and develop this
spiritual and moral ecology, or distort or even destroy it. Sad to
say, it seems that many of us are concerned more with the physical
ecology than with our spiritual and moral ecology.

            Nature is what is given to us by God, our Creator and
Father, through our biological and genetic make-up, courtesy of our
parents, the procreators. And nurture should build on it, not go
against it.

            We all know that one is conceived and born either as male
or female. This is basic biology, not bigotry. That there sometimes
are hermaphrodites is the exception, a rare phenomenon, which proves
the rule.

            It’s an anomaly that simply shows that nature too has its
limitations, which often is also caused by us, much like why we have
typhoons. Still, such anomaly is not the end of the world for the
person concerned. Something can always be done to address that
predicament.

            And so when one is born as a boy, he should try his best,
with the help of everyone, to develop and nurture his manhood as fully
as possible, actualizing his manly qualities and properties as shown
by Christ himself and reflected and mediated in a homogeneously
evolving way by our cultures and civilizations through the millennia.
The same when one is born as a girl. She should cultivate her
femininity as fully as possible. There is supposed to be
complementarity between the two sexes.

            This is, of course, easier said than done. We know that
for one reason or another—physical, hormonal, emotional,
psychological, environmental, etc.—there can be confusion between the
two genders. This should be acknowledged humbly as an anomaly for
which some solution has to be sought. It should not be considered as
normal, much less, natural.

            Clarifying and resolving issues as to what is to be
masculine and what is to be feminine, I suppose, would be a dynamic
affair up to the end of the world. But this concern should have some
consistency and homogeneity.

            What is clear is that while some commonality can be
observed and is ok in many aspects of our human sexuality, i.e., in
the relation and distinction between male and female, the sharpest
distinction between the two can be observed in the venereal level,
when the direct use of our sexuality as in the conjugal act or sexual
intercourse is involved.

            In this aspect, the male has to be male and the female has
to be female, since the act, to be wholly human, has to be an act of
love, of total self-giving that is open to life.

            In that act, the whole person is involved, in the totality
of one’s spiritual and bodily dimensions. That is the very nature of
the act, the moral object of the act. We should not pervert it by not
respecting the very nature and purpose of that act.

            If animals that are driven simply by instincts would know
in general how to do the act and with what partner—we call it
mating—we human beings, who are persons with intelligence and will,
should know better.

            But then again, since we have a wounded nature, there’s
always a possibility that instead of doing things according to our
nature, we can choose to do things against our nature.

            In fact, of all the creatures, we are the only ones,
together with the purely spiritual angelic creatures, that can
contradict our nature, and thus become inhuman or subhuman.

            We have to be more aware of our grave responsibility to
put nature and nurture together, not nature vs. nurture.

New technologies can lead to self-inflicted bondage

WE have to be masters, not slaves, of the new
technologies. But to attain that goal, we have to realize that we are
getting into a new ball game, with different set of rules, and with
very subtle implications and consequences that we still have to
explore and weigh, and their ranking in our proper hierarchy of
priorities established.

            In short, we have to go through the learning process which
usually involves a teacher or tutor to guide us, especially at the
beginning stage. And I don’t mean simply the technical aspect of the
matter. Much more important is the moral and spiritual dimension of
this new development where we are often at sea, confused and lost.

            There is no doubt that the easy access today to
smartphones, tablets, mobile devices, computers, the Internet, social
media, etc., has given us tremendous facilities and advantages. But
just as they give us a lot of good, a lot of evil has been generated
as well.

            It cannot be denied that very often these new technologies
so grab, hijack and almost completely absorb our attention that we
would forget or neglect our other, even more important duties. We get
hooked to them, like drugs.

            They have such alluring and seductive power that we can
think we are doing well with them, when in fact we are being degraded,
since we tend to waste time and to get entangled with many unnecessary
but fascinating little distractions, trivialities, gossips, etc.

            We can get the sensation that with them we are expanding
our world, increasing our knowledge, extending our reach, not
realizing that in the end we would just be feeding our
self-centeredness and vanity.

            This is not to mention that these new technologies can be
an irresistible occasion and temptation to sin. A casual stumbling
into a pornographic and other questionable site can easily open the
slippery slide to vices and all kinds of addiction. Indeed, they can
complicate rather than simplify our life.

            To the strong and mature people, these new technologies
can make them better. But to the weak and immature, they most likely
can lead to a mess. But since in real life, we can be strong one time
and weak the next, we really would need to be most discerning and
disciplined to tackle the challenge of using these technologies
properly.

            Some criteria and norms have to be established and
followed. We just cannot plunge into these technologies driven and
guided only by our common sense. That would not be enough. I would say
that with the more complicated things are with emergence of these new
technologies, we need to be more strict with ourselves, a little bit
distrustful of our capabilities, and more urged to seek help from
others.

            And I would say that the first among these criteria and
norms should be the need to rectify our intentions. Our motive of
using them should first of all and always be to give glory to God.

            It should not just be for practical purposes. That’s
because to be so intentioned, without referring it to God, would
simply expose us to the dangers of self-indulgence, vague ulterior
motives, and other impulses deriving from mere and spontaneous
curiosities, and other passing and unclear conditionings that we are
all subject to.

            Thus, there’s always need to practice temperance,
restraint and moderation of these new technologies so that the proper
motive of giving glory to God and serving others would not be
undermined, but rather would be enhanced.

            Let’s always remember what Christ so clearly told us: “If
any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his
cross, and follow me.” (Mt 16,24) Let’s concretize this indication of
self-denial in the spirit that animates these words of Christ. Let’s
translate it into some specific actions.

            Among them perhaps could be that we don’t have to avail of
all these new technologies, or of their latest models. We have to
limit our use of them to a certain time of the day. We have to
restrain our spontaneous impulse to use them.

            We have to make sure that we have a very clear purpose in
using them, avoiding simply driven by passing curiosities, if not by
passing whims and caprices. It may be a good idea to deliberately pray
before using them and even while using them so our attitude toward
them is kept spiritual, moral and supernatural.

            We should never forget that these new technologies can be
a strong temptation for us to be drunk with our own powers, forgetting
God. That would lead us to a self-inflicted slavery.